Books On How To Improve Emotional Intelligence
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Many people feel that emotional intelligence (or EQ as it is commonly referred to) comes more naturally to some people than others. This isn’t always the case, however. A person with high levels of empathy may not recognize their own feelings, for example.
Some believe that there are specific things you can do to improve your emotional quotient, but these strategies aren’t necessarily universal. In fact, some say that developing your EQ could make matters worse because you might rely too much on emotions.
This article will talk about several books that focus on helping you develop your emotional literacy or “emotion smarts.” You will also learn how to motivate yourself by reading these books.
Start looking through this list of books in the next two weeks and see what changes you make to achieve your goal.
Why Not Therapy?
While most people can agree that practicing altruism, empathy, and situational awareness are important skills for anyone to have, some feel that seeking professional help is unnecessary or even detrimental.
Therapy has become very expensive due to rising health care costs and many therapists who work with emotional issues don’t require longer than six months of treatment because they find things changing in their patient slowly.
Furthermore, there are some studies which suggest that being helped by professionals makes patients feel worse about themselves and his/her own inadequacy.
This may be because we as humans learn more from mistakes and failures than success, so receiving praise after making a mistake could make you feel bad about yourself instead of better.
So while therapy is not necessarily harmful, it may not always do the same thing that it should.
The Better Angels of Our Nature
A few scholars have proposed that we can improve our emotional intelligence by studying something they call “The Good News About Violence.” This theory suggests that many types of violence are actually motivated by an increase in emotional intelligence.
Some studies suggest that when people experience more positive emotions, like happiness or gratitude, then they tend to show greater tolerance for other people’s beliefs and behaviors.
They also believe that when people feel negative emotions such as anger or fear, they are less likely to demonstrate altruistic behavior towards others.
Smart and Simple
Recent research has focused on emotional intelligence (EI) as an important factor in helping us achieve our goals, feel happier, and live healthier lives. While there are many theories about what makes up EI, one of the most popular is called the four-factor model. This theory says that we must measure two factors -- understanding emotions and control of your own emotions -- in order to have high EQ.
Studies show that people with higher levels of emotional intelligence are more likely to succeed in life. They may be better able to manage their stressors and difficulties, and they can relate to others more effectively.
There are several reasons why having strong emotion regulation skills is so important. For example, researchers found that people who were unable to regulate their emotions were at risk for alcohol use disorders and other addictions.
They also found that individuals with lower self-control tended to experience greater weight gain due to poor eating habits and lack of exercise. Overweight individuals also reported feeling less happy than those who were not overweight, which contributes to another cycle of negative feelings.
The Upside of Anger
We often think of anger as a negative emotion, but there are studies that show it can actually help us in this world. For example, research has shown that people who are able to control their temper tend to make healthier relationships and family members.
Anger is a powerful feeling for me because I recognize it for what it is- a natural response to an uncomfortable or challenging situation.
When you feel angry, you’re probably thinking about something important, which makes it worth your time to look into why you got so mad in the first place.
You could be reacting to something trivial, like someone cutting you off in traffic, but then you get onto the highway and they walk!
It’s hard to stay calm when you don’t have adequate sleep, you’ve been working all day, and/or you’ve got too much going on in your life.
All of these things contribute to mental and physical stress, and sometimes that stress gets away from you. When it does, your emotional intelligence (EI) can suffer.
That’s why it’s important to understand how to manage your own emotions. Even if you don’t necessarily agree with the reasons that made you feel upset, you should at least know that anger helps develop your EI.
There are several different types of emotional intelligence, but we will focus only on two here — understanding and management.
The Magic of Thinking Big
A classic book that has helped many achieve their dreams is “Think and Grow Rich,” by Napoleon Hill. This books was inspired by an interview with millionaire Robert Kiyosaki where he asked his friend what it took to succeed in life.
His best friend told him that you have to think about two things at a time and keep learning from others. He mentioned this as a reason why people fail to success.
Robert then set out to teach himself how to do both of these and now he teaches them to other people. That is the purpose of his website richparentsworkshop.com which features daily lessons on thinking big and learning from others.
He gives away free content too. You get access for nothing if you try his services for a week! His lectures have a very entertaining tone and feature stories, examples, and questions that can be applied to your own life situation.
His teachings focus not only on wealthy lifestyles but also mental health and psychology. These are important pieces of the puzzle to becoming successful.
Eat What You Love
Many people say that you are not living your life fully until you know what makes you feel happy, and they are right! Having understanding of yourself and others comes only through studying and exploring how we function emotionally.
Emotions are powerful. They can motivate us to do things, keep us from doing things, or make it possible for us to accomplish difficult tasks. That is why it is important to understand them!
Many experts agree that emotional intelligence (or EI) is the ability to recognize, describe, process, and control your emotions. In fact, some even believe that mastering emotion takes more skill than mastering other skills like math or writing.
This may sound weird at first, but trust me when I tell you that it’s true. Because our emotions play such an integral part in who we are as individuals and society as a whole, having strong levels of EQ is very valuable.
A lot of professionals now consider being rich, healthy, and successful to be mostly due to one person’s level of emotional intelligence. According to research conducted by Daniel Goleman, CEO of Harvard University’s School of Education and author of “Social Intelligence: The Powerful Key To Success In Life,” developing your social IQ will help you achieve success in work, family, and community.
In his book, he describes social intelligence as “the knowledge and effectiveness of oneself and others in terms of their communication and relationship skills.
The Little Things That Make You Happy
Many people believe that emotional intelligence (or EQ as it is often referred to) comes mostly from childhood, and that developing your EQ is just a matter of being more like your parents.
This theory is wrong!
Emotional intelligence isn’t something you are born with or without, but instead, a skill that can be learned through education and practice. It is also a very important social skills that many adults forget how to develop.
It may sound cliché, but happiness does not come easily for most people. Finding true lasting joy takes work and strategies that have been shown to work.
Here are some ways to improve your emotional intelligence and overall happiness in this world.
Start by changing your perspective on life. Become aware of what makes you happy and take time to appreciate these things.
Do little things every day that make you happier such as going out for a walk, doing an activity you enjoy, or reading one good book per week.
Practice gratitude. Start each morning off by taking several minutes to think about all the things for which you are grateful.
Relate to others- whether it is your family, friends, colleagues, or strangers. Develop strong relationships and invest time in them.
Take responsibility for your actions and learn from your mistakes. When you realize you made a bad decision, decide if it was because you lacked empathy, confidence, or self-control.
The Obstacle Is The Way
A lot of people get stuck because they try to improve their emotional intelligence by trying to be like someone else. They feel that if Sally, Jane and Charlie are more emotionally intelligent than them, then they should copy what they do.
This is not the right way to improve EI!
It’s like working on your body weight. You may want to lose some weight, but instead of going after diets that have been successful for others, you must find your own diet that works for you.
Dieting isn’t effective for most people because it doesn’t take into account individual differences in nutrition needs. We all have different nutritional requirements due to genetics and health issues, so one person’s diet might not work for you.
The same goes for improving your emotional skills. What works for someone else may not be appropriate for you. You have to figure out how to apply these tools in ways that are meaningful to you.