Over the past few years, emotional intelligence (“EI”) has become one of the most popular leadership theories in business. It looks at how well you control your own emotions to determine if someone else will trust you or not. If they do, then you know you have succeeded in putting up a strong wall around them so that they will feel comfortable being honest with you.

But what does it really mean? And is it worth the cost? This article will try to answer these questions by looking at the different definitions of “emotional intelligence.” Then, we will discuss some of the potential benefits of developing your EQ, as well as some risks. We will also look at the things that can hurt your development -- something every leader needs to consider.

Emotional intelligence is actually a very complex concept. But for the purposes of this article, we will focus only on the two main components: understanding other people’s emotions and yourself.

Understand other people’s emotions- When there are changes happening in a person's life, such as moving cities, changing jobs, or starting a new relationship, their behavior may be affected. Your job as a friend, colleague, or family member is to understand why they are behaving like they are.

Why is emotional intelligence important?

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Recent research shows that people who have higher EQ are more likely to succeed in life. They are less likely to suffer mental or physical health problems, be victimized as a victimizer, and achieve higher levels of happiness and success.

People with high EQ understand how emotions work for them and other people, and they use this knowledge to help others feel better. They are also more aware of their own feelings and those of others.

It sounds simple enough, but having strong emotional skills is not easy. It requires you to recognize your thoughts and feelings and learn how to manage them.

Some ways we can develop our emotional literacy include through self-reflection and understanding what makes us feel good about ourselves and what does not.

We can also teach ourselves new things by practicing, repeating lessons, and using learning strategies. This applies particularly to teens, as they go through many changes related to development, school, family, and society.

There are several tests designed to measure your level of emotional intelligence, and most require no special equipment. You do not need professional training to assess your ability.

How can I improve my emotional intelligence?

One of the most fundamental ways to develop your EQ is by practicing acceptance and mindfulness. Both of these concepts come down to how you respond to things that make you feel bad or good about yourself, yourself and others.

Academic research has shown that people who are able to recognize and manage their emotions are more likely to experience happiness and success in life than those who struggle with it.

On the other hand, studies have also linked low emotional intelligence with higher levels of anxiety, depression and stress. These effects can sometimes be even stronger for individuals with very high EI skills compared to those with lower scores.

There are several different theories as to why this happens, but no one really knows for sure what causes someone with low EQ to become emotionally distressed. What they do know is that there’s usually a reason behind their behavior, however.

It’s important to remember that a person’s level of EQ doesn’t stay the same, especially as we grow older. As such, anyone can find ways to improve their emotional understanding and management.

Become a good listener

A lot of people think that being a great leader is only about giving powerful speeches and making tough decisions, but leadership also includes being a good listener. You will find yourself in a situation where someone needs your help, and you’ll have to make some decision or other based on what they tell you.

As a leader, you will need to develop strong listening skills so you can get the most out of conversations. People often feel like you are not paying attention to them, which may be because you are too focused on getting something done instead.

Good listeners understand that things take time and energy away from working on important tasks. They learn how to stay focused on what others want to talk about even if it takes longer than expected.

It is very difficult to motivate someone when you don’t listen to what they say.

Understand your emotions

A large part of emotional intelligence is understanding your own emotions. You can learn how to recognize, understand, and control your emotions by practicing mindfulness.

Mindfulness is the practice of being present with what you are doing or experiencing at this moment. When you add that into the equation, it becomes clear why it is also referred to as “paying attention”.

By becoming more aware of yourself and your surroundings, you will be able to notice when youare feeling an emotion. This could be due to something external (like someone else’s actions) or internal (like thoughts about past events).

Once you have noticed your emotion, you can choose to either reduce its intensity or eliminate it completely. It may help to compare your current level of stress with a normal level so you can identify if yourstress is too much.

Teach people how to be happy

We’ve all heard about having a good work-life balance, but what does that really mean? Work-life balance means finding a healthy amount of time to devote to your family, friends, community, career, and other interests. It doesn’t matter if it’s spending an hour with each other after work or going out for drinks with your team once a week, there are always things you can do to invest in others.

Teaching someone else something will always make you feel better than leaving them behind. Even if they never use what you taught them, just by being around them, they’ll have a positive effect on you. Spread happiness, teach people how to be happier!

Drinking tea or cooking dinner for yourself is a great way to start investing in yourself. You'll also want to tell yourself “I deserve this” or “This is enough” at least once a day. When you think of yourself as a generous person, you’re more likely to be a kind person.

Be honest with your friends

As mentioned earlier, one of the major things that can hurt your friendship is if you are not being authentic with each other.
Breaking down barriers and being real with each other takes time, but it’s important to do it when you realize there's no hope for improvement unless you do.

If you're ever feeling like your friend isn't talking to you or doesn't seem interested in what you have to say, try asking them why they don't respond to you.

It may be because they just aren't feeling well today, or maybe they just got tired of listening to you talk about yourself all the time.

However, most likely, their lack of response has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them, which makes avoiding the conversation even more difficult.

You'll need to address this issue head-on by being aware of how often these behaviors occur and determine whether it's better to leave the situation gracefully, or if necessary, end the relationship entirely.

Listen to people when they talk

It is very important to understand that not everyone functions with the same level of emotional intelligence. Some people are more socially intelligent, meaning they have good understandingings of how to relate to other people and why different behaviors are used in relationships.

They may know what emotions others feel and which buttons should be pressed to get a specific result. They may also recognize when someone is lying or telling the truth because of how they look or how they behave.

Some people are logical, reasoning from one idea to another according to steps that can’t be forgotten. Others are intuitive, able to sense things like whether something seems normal or not even if it’s happening for the first time.

Some people are strong willed, capable of staying focused on a task until it is finished. Other people need constant reassurance and support to keep them motivated.

Be optimistic

Overcoming adversity requires us to have a good sense of optimism. Even when things are going badly, you must believe that they can get better later on.

Optimism is an internal state where you feel confident in yourself and the future.

It helps you take positive action and leads to success because it creates a mental attitude conducive to achieving your goals.

Being overly optimistic could be difficult at times, but just like with any other skill, you can learn how to manage it.

You can develop emotional intelligence (EI) by practicing everyday concepts such as motivation, self-awareness, empathy, and leadership.

However, thinking about EI often focuses only on having certain skills. But what most people don’t realize is that being more emotionally intelligent also means being able to identify what emotions are coming from the source and why they are there.