How Can Emotional Intelligence Improve Relationships
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Recent research is showing that emotional intelligence (or EQ as it’s often referred to) can have profound effects in your relationships, work colleagues and even parents of young children.
EQ isn’t just about being able to read someone’s emotions correctly — although this is important! It also includes understanding other people, self-awareness and how to manage your own feelings.
When you think about it, most successful relationships involve lots of talking, compromise and communication. And we all know too well that talk doesn’t always go smoothly.
So developing our EQ could help us enjoy more positive interactions and better understand why some conversations don’t go well. This would be an additional tool for success.
In this article, we will discuss five ways that improving your emotional quotient can boost your relationship quality and overall happiness in life.
Held back from interacting with others because they lack empathy or compassion, individuals without high levels of emotional control are likely to suffer job losses due to frequent disciplinary action or resignation.
While there may be times when having low emotional regulation is appropriate, staying in check during times of stress requires practice.
Listen more closely
A lot of people have a narrative they use to describe their lives, including how they describes their relationships. If someone’s description does not match what you believe theirs should be, it is worth considering whether this person is telling the truth about their relationship.
If you find that their story changes frequently or seems inconsistent with other information, it may be because they are trying to cover up something. For example, if your friend tells you that their partner just entered the room but then several minutes later says that they left together, this may indicate that they cheated.
By listening carefully to how others describe their relationships, we can sometimes discover things that they might want us to know but were never given the chance to tell us.
Emotional intelligence involves being able to recognize, understand, and manage your own emotions as well as those of others. Because emotional abuse often happens in silence, when it is revealed, it can easily go unnoticed unless you are paying close attention.
If you are ever confronted with evidence of emotional abuse, do not assume that it will resolve itself. Even though abusers may try to make you feel bad for hurting them, that only makes it hurt worse in the long run.
Do not allow yourself to become emotionally invested in an abusive relationship. Save your energy for activities that matter to you, and keep tabs on your money so that you do not give further support to individuals who treat you poorly.
Make more effort
In order to improve your emotional intelligence, you have to make an effort to do so. This could be practicing mindfulness, understanding emotions, developing relationships, or just being aware of what is happening in your life.
It can be difficult trying to understand your own feelings and those of others at times. A lot of people avoid talking about their feelings because they don’t want to seem weak or that things are bad - this only adds to their stress level.
By using skills such as mindfulness, you will learn how to recognize and manage your emotions. Having these tools can help you focus on something else for a bit while your feelings work themselves out.
Practicing gratitude also helps you feel happier as it focuses on the positive aspects of your life. Thinking of all the things you are grateful for makes you happy and gives you a sense of purpose.
Relationship experts say that having high levels of emotional intelligence is a way to strengthen friendships and marriage. Since we live in a connected world where everything seems to break down into a battle for attention, having higher levels of EQ is important.
You will know what actions affect other people and how to deal with them if you develop yours. You will also be able to see past the current situation and put things in perspective.
Consistency is one of the most important things when it comes to emotional intelligence. This means showing up for commitments you make, keeping in touch with people that you want to stay in contact with, and being there when needed.
Consistency is also about sticking to your own set rules and standards. For example, if you say you will do something at 8 o’clock every day, then must do so even if you don’t feel like doing it.
By having this consistency, other people will learn to rely on it and come to expect it. This helps them know what to anticipate from you and makes them more confident in yourself and your relationships.
On the other hand, if they see you fail to keep your promises, how can they trust you? If you tell someone you will be their friend, help them move or whatever, but never show up, how can they believe you really wanted to be their friend in the first place?
Emotions are powerful, which is why they are sometimes difficult to control. When you try to contain yours, it can hurt others who look to you for support and friendship.
If you would like to improve your relationship skills, start by practicing them with yourself. Then, focus on those who love you and ask them if you can test out your skills on them.
A lot of people get tied up in emotional jargon that sounds profound but doesn’t necessarily apply to you or your relationships. For example, “My passion is helping others develop their empathy skills.” Some may interpret this as them being asked to feel bad for someone else’s life situation so they can feel good about themselves.
Emotions are powerful tools that we use to motivate ourselves and others. If you want your relationships to improve, then you need to learn how to regulate yours and be aware of the effects they have on those around you.
But before you start teaching anyone anything about emotions, you first must understand your own. What kind of person are you? Are you someone who digs yourself out of a hole quickly or do you take longer routes to achieve the same result?
What qualities do you value in people? Would you rather hire someone with strong leadership skills or someone with a nice smile? These things matter even if you don’t work for each other!
You also should know what kinds of behaviors hurt and stress you out. Does yelling make you angry, or does it show you where he or she stands? You hope you never find yourself in a relationship with someone who makes you feel like this, but if you have, you ought to be able to recognize early.
Understand your partner
A major component of improving any relationship is understanding your partner! This includes knowing what makes them happy, what irritates them, and how they feel about you and the relationships in their life.
This also means being aware of how they may be feeling at this moment and if it’s due to something you said or done weeks ago or even years back.
Understanding your partners emotional state can help mitigate some of the hurt feelings that may arise from disagreements or stressors. If nothing changes, it could eventually lead to breaking up.
But just because you don’t understand why someone is reacting the way they are right now doesn’t mean they aren’t smart or self-aware enough to handle such emotions.
It might just make it harder for them to do so. So try to put yourself in their shoes for a minute before assuming anything.
Ask for what you want
In relationships, asking for what you want can go a long way towards improving your bond with someone. It does not mean being needy or insisting on your rights, but instead asking out of genuine desire to connect with another person.
A lot of times, people get into bad ruts in their relationship due to complacency. They feel that things are fine the way they are so they do not ask for much because they believe they will not be given anything more.
If this is you – break this habit!
Ask yourself if what you have is enough for both of you. If it is not, then ask for something new or different.
This could be changing positions, having sex outside the bedroom, trying new foods, doing activities together, etc.
Running through all these should give you some ideas, but don’t hesitate to come up with your own.
Don’t be a jerk
Letting go of your inner jerk is probably the hardest thing about developing your EQ.
When you are trying to strengthen your emotional intelligence, there will always be times when you feel overwhelmed or irritated. You may even get mad at someone for doing something that makes you angry or frustrated.
That's okay! All normal human emotions are natural and necessary for healthy relationships.
But if these feelings stay too long, they can hurt others and yourself. Your irritability may put additional stress on them, which only worsens their situation and your relationship with them.
On the other hand, people may avoid you because they don’t like how moody you are. They might even start avoiding each other completely.
Be a good listener
When you are listening to someone, make an effort to understand what they say, and how they say it – not just for one minute but for every bit of time that they take to speak to you.
This is very important because there’s a myth about listeners which isn’t true. People may think that since they listened well at a meeting last week, then this week they can ‘relax and listen’ and everything will be fine. It won’t!
If you have ever noticed that people talk mostly about themselves, then you know why. They feel that their audience is not paying attention so they talk more about themselves.
By being a good listener, you show that you care about others and want to learn from them. This is a valuable quality in anyone’s life.
In relationships, having a high level of emotional intelligence means keeping up daily conversations, ensuring that your relationship has enough intimacy, and helping each other grow through discussions.
You also need to accept when things get tough and walk away. You cannot be involved with someone who does not treat you with respect and love.
Emotions connect us as human beings. If we ignore our emotions, it affects how we live our lives and relate to others.
However, if we are able to manage our own feelings and those of others, we will achieve success and happiness in our personal and professional lives.