How Do Emotional Intelligence Differ
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People with high emotional intelligence are able to recognize, understand and manage their emotions. They are also aware of the effect that their actions have on others. And they use these insights to improve their own quality of life by living an honest day at work and personal relationships.
It’s like being in control of your mind and your body. You know how to use both to achieve your goals. Plus you take good care of yourself because you believe in your ability to do so even when things get tough.
Emotional intelligence (or EQ for short) is a skill people possess or lack depending on whether they feel it is in abundance or dry spells.
There are several theories about what makes someone highly emotionally intelligent but no one agrees on all aspects. However, there is one factor that almost every definition mentions — we can’t fully measure emotional intelligence until we test for it.
That means there aren’t any quick tests to see if you have high emotional intelligence or not. But you can increase yours through training and practice.
This article will go into more detail on five reasons why emotional intelligence matters and how you can develop yours.
1: It helps us succeed in our lives
We live in a society where success equals money. A successful person is someone who earns lots of money, which is fine as long as they enjoy spending their time earning dollars and keeping up with the trends.
Skills of emotional intelligence
One of the most important skills people need is how to recognize their own emotions. We all have different levels of control over our emotions, but we can always be aware of what we are feeling.
This is called recognition of emotion. It seems simple enough, but it’s a fundamental part of human psychology.
Without this ability, you could potentially suffer from depression or anxiety due to lack of notice of your feelings.
You may also not realize that someone else is unhappy with something you said or done. You might walk away thinking everything was fine when they didn’t seem quite so happy.
Emotions don’t just happen suddenly. They’re built up over time. So, if you aren’t paying attention, you could miss crucial clues about whether someone is angry with you or not.
It’s like knowing that someone likes chocolate, so if they start eating some then there’s probably no true love lurking. With emotional intelligence, you would hopefully recognize that these signs are more than just sugar cravings.
Another way to think about it is that you wouldn’t believe someone really loves you unless they showed it, but having high emotional intelligence means you’d at least know it when they do.
There are several theories about why being able to identify and understand your own emotions is such an essential skill.
Theory of emotional intelligence
The theory of emotional intelligence was first developed in the 1980s by Daniel Goleman, an organizational psychologist who studied personality. He identified five core qualities that make up what he referred to as “emotional quotient” or EI.
The first is understanding emotions, which means being able to recognize them and understand why someone might be feeling a certain way.
The second is controlling your own feelings, which includes recognizing when you are becoming emotionally charged and taking breaks to reset.
Third is handling relationships, which include knowing when it’s time to move on and how to do so gracefully.
Fourth is self-control, which means having control over yourself outside of work and at home. And lastly, respect for others, which includes not criticizing or put downing other people unless you have significant experience with them.
Goleman found that high levels of emotional intelligence were related to success and happiness in both personal and professional life. However, he also noted that there were times when individuals with low EQ would get really successful — think Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Elon Musk.
These rich and powerful men seem to just don’t care much about anyone else, but they are famous for achieving big things. You will probably know some like this someday!
Overall, though, we are all shaped by our upbringing, genetics, and experiences, and therefore no one person has totally normal levels of emotional intelligence.
Some definitions of emotional intelligence
There are several different theories about what makes someone have high emotional intelligence. What differs among these theories is how they define emotional intelligence, and what factors contribute to it.
Some people believe that being emotionally intelligent is just having good control over your emotions. This theory suggests that people who are considered smart because of their logical reasoning or math skills also must be practiced at controlling their emotions.
This theory ignores the fact that there are some very clever individuals who suffer from frequent outbreaks of anger or sadness. These people may not actually be practicing self-control, but they’re at least aware of the effects of their actions so they don’t act on them.
Another theory defines emotional intelligence as understanding other people’s emotions. This theory says that being able to recognize and understand others’ feelings is what makes you feel comfortable around them and helps you form relationships.
However, this theory fails to take into account those things that might hurt or stress out an individual. A person with low emotional intelligence could easily avoid looking outside themselves for reasons why someone else might be upset, but still think that they’re the most important thing in anyone’s life.
Key elements of emotional intelligence
A large part of what makes someone emotionally intelligent is their ability to recognize your emotions and how they make you feel.
This can be done by looking at your facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, and anything said in context – not just for one person, but also people around you as well.
It’s also about understanding why you are feeling a certain way and being able to take time to evaluate whether that emotion is justified or not.
Some things are less important than others when it comes to developing emotional intelligence. For example, if you understand that most people dislike being interrupted, then you wouldn’t throw away a great opportunity because you didn’t want to be interrupted.
On the other hand, some things are more crucial to know, like why most people enjoy eating cookies so much.
Emotional intelligence isn’t always easy to have, but there are ways to learn several key components of it.
How to be more emotional intelligent
Developing your emotional intelligence (EI) is like learning any other skill- you can either work on it, or you can neglect it, but if you don’t invest in its growth, it will suffer and you run the risk of it being completely shut down altogether.
It's understandable if you've never heard of EI before - that's totally okay! Most people have no idea what we're talking about when it comes to emotional literacy and understanding.
But there is such a thing as emotional intelligence, and researchers are increasingly aware of how important it is for success in life.
Emotional intelligence isn't just knowing how to recognize an emotion, or identify someone else's emotions. It goes beyond those things, and looks at why some people seem to feel happier and more connected with others, while others seem isolated and depressed.
Learn to be more emotional intelligent
People with higher EQ learn how to manage their emotions in the workplace better than those who are less empathic. In fact, studies show that having high levels of empathy can even contribute to someone being a bully or a victim themselves.
Research shows that people who have lower EI tend to rely more on facts when making decisions instead of relying on intuition.
They also perceive situations as more unstable or threatening which makes them worry more about what could happen next. This sometimes causes them to make hasty judgments or avoid taking risks because they do not want to fail.
On the other hand, people with higher EQ understand that things will probably go wrong but they believe that they can deal effectively with unexpected challenges.
These individuals seem to gain strength from difficult experiences and changes made due to these experiences.
Develop your emotional intelligence
A lot of people focus only on what they call ‘social’ or'self-control' skills when talking about emotional intelligence. These are both important, but there is another major area of EQ that has been gaining attention in recent years.
This branch of EI looks at how well you understand and manage emotions in yourself – referred to as self-awareness or empathy.
You'll know some people who seem to be constantly busy with activity and never stop moving. They're always rushing around, seemingly without time to relax or enjoy themselves.
Others may feel more relaxed and settled, and have less urgent and stressful responsibilities. Some people don't even seem to experience strong emotions very often.
It's like they've blocked out part of their inner life or trained themselves not to show certain feelings. This can make them come across as somewhat detached or unfeeling.
To succeed in life, you need to be able to identify and deal effectively with your own moods and emotions. You also need to recognize other people's emotions and whether they are in control of theirs or not.
A few people with high levels of EQ learn how to achieve this by developing their understanding and management of emotion in others.
They might do it through thinking about all the different ways someone could express an emotion and which one would be most effective for changing their behavior.
Share your emotional intelligence
People with high EQs feel uncomfortable when others are being negative or criticizing them, but they also realize that hurt feelings can be valuable information.
They learn from those experiences and make changes to better themselves. It is important to acknowledge a person’s criticism as a chance to improve yourself by learning what things you did not like about yourself and what could be altered to make the situation more favorable for you.
It is also important to understand that people who criticize you may do so because they are trying to help you fix something that you cannot seem to handle on your own.
If this is the case, then it is up to you to recognize their attempts at guidance and take action on it.
Emotions such as anger, fear, sadness, and joy all play an integral part in human development. Getting rid of one will limit your potential.