How Do I Know My Emotional Intelligence
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People often talk about emotional intelligence (EI) as if it is an ability that you are born with, like your IQ. However, there is some disagreement over what the definition of EI actually is. Some say it is self-awareness while others argue it is understanding emotions in yourself and other people.
Regardless, most agree that being more emotionally intelligent will make you happier. You’ll learn how to recognize your own feelings and those of others, and apply this knowledge to better manage them.
Emotional intelligence has been linked to overall happiness, success, health, and career success. Given these benefits, we should all strive to develop our EQ!
But how? Luckily, there are several strategies you can use to improve your emotional intelligence. This article contains 10 ways to boost your EQ. Try out one or two a week and see how you feel after doing so.
You may also want to read my previous article: What Is Happiness? There are many different factors that contribute to making us happy, including external things (like money), internal experiences (like thinking about past successes), and relationships. All three of these components play a role in how much happiness you have.
This article will focus mostly on improving your interpersonal skills through practicing empathy and taking responsibility for your actions.
I am a good observer
This is one of my most important skills because it impacts all other ones. Being able to watch someone else’s behavior and learn from that how they behave, what makes them happy or unhappy, why they do certain things – these are all valuable lessons in emotional intelligence.
I learned this from watching my mom grow up. Even when she was a little kid, you could tell she loved spending time with me. But she also wanted to be independent, so she would sometimes play along while I entertained myself doing something else.
She didn't push me away, but she made sure that she wasn’t always there for me either. As I got older, she'd go out and spend time with her friends, leaving me home alone more often than not.
Her ability to observe others and understand their behaviors allowed me to develop my empathy. She showed me that people are not always what they seem.
If you want to know how to increase your own emotional intelligence, start by observing and learning about the emotions of others. - Sarah Kate Ellis, author
This article will help you improve your reading comprehension by breaking down the main topic and bullet point into smaller pieces. Read the whole paragraph first, and then compare it with the bullet point.
Reader focus: Observing and understanding the actions and behaviors of others is an excellent way to enhance your emotional intelligence.
I am a good arbitrator
‘EI’ as some refer to it, is your ability to recognize and evaluate emotions in yourself and others. Being able to identify our own feelings and those of other people is an essential part of living a happy life.
We are all liable to experience strong emotional states at times. For example, you may feel angry with someone for weeks after they hurt you or lose hope that something will change even though you have made every effort to talk to them about it.
You can also be overwhelmed by how much stress you are under and start to become irritable or depressed. You may find it hard to concentrate due to your nerves.
Fortunately, we are not always lost for words when we need to discuss things or there is nothing left to try. Yours truly has learned that you can learn more about me by looking into my social media accounts than by asking me directly!
So if you want to know what makes me laugh, look at my funny pictures or read my jokes – you get a sense of who I am through the stories I tell myself and ones I share with the world.
I am a good leader
As mentioned earlier, leadership is influenced by many things, not the least of which are personal qualities like empathy or emotional intelligence. Being a good leader means being able to relate to people and inspire them to be their best.
You can’t expect people to follow you if you don’t have strong internal relationships. A lot of leaders never develop these friendships inside of themselves, and this effects how well they lead others.
Having high levels of EQ makes it easier to build trust, keep commitments, and understand what emotions other people may be feeling. All of these play an important role in leading and inspiring people to achieve great things for your organization.
It also helps you deal with difficult situations more effectively. You'll know when something isn't working and you’ll know who to talk to about it. You’ll recognize uncomfortable situations that need addressing and plan appropriate actions.
In fact, research shows that having a higher level of EI correlates with job success. The study found that employees underuse emotion-related skills at work, and that lack of use was linked to lower employee satisfaction and productivity, as well as higher incidence of stress- related health problems.
So why not invest in your own emotional literacy? After all, you'd want to be successful at your job and helping yourself feel better is a worthy goal.
I am a good facilitator
A lot of people talk about emotional intelligence (EI) as if it is a skill you are either born with or not, like speaking English. But that isn’t what researchers mean when they use the term.
They believe EI to be something you can learn through education and practice. It’s more specific than just describing someone who is very compassionate as having high emotional quotient (EQ).
That would clearly describe many smart people, but in addition to them being intelligent, they may also have strong social skills which help them relate to other people.
So how do we know if we have higher levels of EQ? Here are some things you could check for.
I am a good partner
There is a theory in psychology called relational harmony, which suggests that we feel happier when our relationships are full of positive interactions with us as an individual and with others.
This can be seen through friendships, romantic relationships or even within family units. When there are less negative emotions, it creates an easier environment for conversation and understanding between people.
I am a good customer
Sometimes, you just have to acknowledge yourself where you fail and try to figure out why. This is important so you can fix your failures and learn from them!
It’s easy to blame someone or something else for how you feel, but more likely than not, it’s coming down to you. You may be suffering because of how you handled a situation in the past, or maybe you’re upset about something that happened today, but either way, you are bringing this onto yourself.
You are the one creating these experiences in your life every day through what you say and do. How you handle a challenge will determine whether it brings you success or frustration.
Your emotional intelligence (or EQ as some call it) comes into play here. It’s the quality and strength of your ability to recognize, understand, manage, and use emotions to achieve your goals.
You would probably agree that people who are successful seem to enjoy their lives more. They smile more, they laugh more, and they are happier overall.
But what makes someone succeed in the first place? Obviously, having a job that pays well and meeting with lots of people's approval isn't a bad thing!
A strong sense of empathy is also key. Being able to relate to and put yourself in other people's shoes is an integral part of human nature. We all want to be understood and appreciated, especially by those we care about most.
I am a good employee
As discussed earlier, emotional intelligence (or EQ for short) is your ability to recognize, understand, manage, and control your emotions. It helps you perform your job well by motivating you or demotivating you at work, influencing how others feel about you, and helping you achieve your goals.
With that in mind, some people are more emotionally intelligent than other people. Some people have very high levels of emotional intelligence, while others do not.
Some people seem to get a lot of praise for being “good employees” but they could be hiding something important. They may not know what their own personal weaknesses are, or they could be unknowingly creating discord in the workplace.
It's time to take stock of your emotional skills and see where you stand. You can check out our guide here to determine if you're an average, low, medium, or advanced level emo-ist. Also, read our article here to learn more about the importance of emotional intelligence for career success.
I am a good mentor
As a person who is passionate about helping others develop their leadership skills, I have helped many people improve their own emotional intelligence (EI).
As I mentioned earlier, one of the most important things that great leaders know how to do is motivate and inspire their team members. They understand that motivation can be short-term, so they work hard to keep it up for as long as possible before asking someone to do something difficult or take a risk.
They also are aware that morale in your workplace can quickly drop if you don’t give appropriate praise and recognition. It's everyone's job to promote engagement, but sometimes senior staff need help doing this.
That's where mentoring comes into play. A mentor is an experienced member of the workforce that you look up to and with whom you want to share knowledge and skills.
In my case, it's my colleagues who feel more motivated when I show them some tricks of mine for motivating and encouraging teamwork. Even if they already knew these tips, there's always value in having a different perspective.
By being a mentor to my peers, I've been able to contribute to our group's success even though I'm not directly involved in leading projects myself.