How Do You Develop Greater Emotional Intelligence

Over the past few years, emotional intelligence (or EQ for short) has become one of the most popular psychology theories in the world. It is also one of the most controversial. Some believe it to be pure fluff while others claim that it can have profound positive effects on your life.

Many employers now require employees to take an EQ test as part of their job applications. This comes after studies showed that people with higher EQ are more likely to succeed at work and keep their jobs than those who do not.

Given all this attention being paid to EQ these days, it seems like a good time to learn how to develop your own. While there are many different strategies you can use to improve yours, none seem to really work consistently.

That’s why we will go over five easy ways to increase your EQ in this article. At the end of this article, you will know how to boost your empathy, understanding, motivation, self-control, and systemizing skills.

Have patience

how do you develop greater emotional intelligence

A lot of people have emotional intelligence to call their own, but few actually develop it. This is because they do not learn how to deal with others due to lack of understanding of what makes someone else feel happy or sad, or why something made one person laugh while another cried.

People are not always clearly motivated by things that affect other people, and by extension, you. It is your job as an observer to understand this about others, and apply this knowledge in your daily life.

By being aware of these traits and behaviors, you will know how to influence them for good. People around you will be able to trust you more since you can recognize important non-verbal cues.

You will also realize that some behavior is simply annoying habit that should be changed or ignored completely. There is no need to get upset over it unless you want to hurt somebody’s feelings. When that happens, walk away!

There is an old saying that says “never take anything seriously until it is lost.” I would say never use emotion to evaluate anyone else’s character before you lose yours.

Developing greater emotional intelligence takes work, and there is no quick fix. But if you really want to improve your EQ, you must commit to doing so consistently every day.

Make eye contact

how do you develop greater emotional intelligence

Looking into someone’s eyes can help you understand them, show respect for them, and motivate them to do things. When we look into people’s eyes, our brain produces a chemical called oxytocin. Oxytocin is known to promote trust, bond strength, and intimacy.

Making direct eye contact with another person is one of the most powerful ways to establish rapport and connect with others. Not only does it make other people feel more connected to you, but it also helps you connect to them and build relationships.

When your goal is to develop greater emotional intelligence, making regular eye contacts can boost your self-awareness, understanding how emotions work, and control over your own emotions.

You will also want to be aware of when people are not looking directly at you, which could indicate that they lack confidence in or are having trouble trusting you. This might be because they don’t know what to expect from you or they fear you.

Running your life through social media offers no real proof that these individuals exist beyond their online persona, so there’s little incentive to invest time in developing genuine friendships or relationships.

By investing time in creating meaningful connections with people, you will realize benefits in terms of happiness, health, and success.

Be realistic

how do you develop greater emotional intelligence

We are all going to feel emotions at some time or another, but being able to manage your emotional responses is important.
If you can’t then it could have an adverse effect on those around you as well as yourself.

Some things are just not worth investing energy into anymore, so you should avoid engaging with them unless they are truly important to you.

This is how we develop our overall emotional intelligence.

You must learn when to keep relationships that aren’t working to one side and focus on more productive ones.

Research has shown that people who are emotionally intelligent tend to be happier than others their age.

That may sound crazy, but there is a reason why it’s true!

It’s because they know how to identify and understand their own feelings and those of other people.

They also use these insights to help themselves and others deal more effectively with life’s challenges.

Share your experiences

how do you develop greater emotional intelligence

One of the most important things that can improve your emotional intelligence is sharing your personal experiences with other people.
As mentioned before, one of the major factors in developing empathy is knowing what to look for when you are trying to determine someone’s emotions.

By putting yourself in others’ shoes, it becomes much easier to identify their emotions. By doing this, you will also be able to tell if they have made an effort to control their emotions or not.

If you notice that they are hiding their feelings, that may be a sign that they have given up on controlling them. It could be because they don’t have anything left to give or maybe they just didn’t want to hurt anyone else’s feelings.

Either way, it isn’t a good situation so hopefully something can be done about it! Sharing your own experiences can help them understand you better and possibly even inspire them to do the same.

You should never keep secrets from people as this will only make them think less of you. When you're talking about things that affect you, being honest about how you're feeling can help promote trust between you and them.

Be honest with your peers

how do you develop greater emotional intelligence

As mentioned earlier, one of the biggest factors in developing emotional intelligence is being able to identify your emotions.

This means being aware of how you feel about things and being able to describe those feelings clearly. Unfortunately, many people struggle with this.

When you're around someone who makes you mad or unhappy for too long, it can be hard to keep yourself from responding directly.

Likewise, if a friend says something that makes you feel bad, it may be harder to contain your own negative thoughts and reactions.

By the same token, when a friend does something nice for you, it can be tough to respond appropriately.

You might find yourself trying to come up with reasons why what they did wasn't so good after all, even though deep down you know it was.

Listen to others closely

how do you develop greater emotional intelligence

It’s easy to assume that because someone is like you, they have the same emotional needs as you do.

That assumption can cost you dearly.

By not paying attention to what other people are telling you about their emotions, you may miss important information that could help you manage your own feelings better or even identify potential warning signs in a person you care about.

This would be similar to how drivers of cars often don’t pay close attention to what the driver next to them is doing behind the wheel — something that might save their life one day.

Emotions connect us to each other and shape our lives for the good or bad depending on what we allow them to influence us.

Don’t be egotistical

how do you develop greater emotional intelligence

Many people develop emotional intelligence by learning how to recognize their own emotions. They learn to identify what makes them feel happy or sad, angry or relaxed.

They also learn to understand why they feel certain ways about something or someone. For example, you might think that because of past experiences, you can never trust person A. So you make assumptions that A doesn’t like you, and it makes you feel bad.

You may also realize that when you do things that make you uncomfortable, you get very unhappy feelings. So you stop doing those things, and your mood improves.

This works because you understood yourself better. You learned how you behave and why you feel a particular way.

But while this is important, it’s only half of EQ. The other part is taking these insights and applying them to others.

Be humble

how do you develop greater emotional intelligence

A key factor in developing greater emotional intelligence is to be aware of your own emotions.

It’s easy to get distracted by other people’s actions, but when you try to work out what made them feel angry or hurt, it can actually make things even worse.

By trying to understand why someone else feels bad, you could push them away further or put more pressure on themselves because they felt that they had to explain their reactions to you.

If you are able to identify your own feelings, though, you will have a better chance of controlling them and fixing the problem.

You’ll also recognize that something outside yourself caused this feeling and therefore can avoid adding fuel to the fire. In those instances, removing the source may be all you need to do- just don’t take it too personally!

Be honest about how you feel, but only if you want to fix the issue. If you are constantly looking for reasons to be upset with someone, then chances are you won’t find very many allies.

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