How Do You Develop Greater Emotional Intelligence
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People with greater emotional intelligence are able to recognize, understand and control their emotions. They are also more likely to use your feelings to help you achieve your goals.
People with higher EQ can be better friends, spouses or parents- they’re just not as focused on being in control of their emotions.
There are several theories about what makes someone have high emotional intelligence, but no one definitive answer.
However, there is some consensus that emotional maturity comes earlier for some people than others.
This may be due to genetics, early life experiences or both.
Emotional intelligence is something you learn, so practicing it is like learning new skills. And yes, it can be learned!
It takes work, but you can improve your emotional intelligence over time. You can develop your emotion regulation skills and strategies, and apply them in different situations.
Some experts suggest breaking down this goal into smaller steps to make it easier to stay motivated.
A lot of things in life take time. Creating healthier relationships will take work, learning how to manage your emotions takes practice, achieving goals requires effort, and creating new habits is difficult.
That’s why having enough patience for yourself is so important. It’ll be easier to develop your emotional intelligence if you do because you'll have seen other people's success and copied what they did.
You can also use your skills to help someone else deal with their issues or problems. By showing them how to better handle themselves, you’ve done your part as an intelligent person.
At the very least you've made a difference by teaching them something.
Make eye contact
Making direct, meaningful connections with other people is a powerful way to develop your emotional intelligence. When you make direct eye contact with someone, you show them that they matter to you.
You look at them as an equal, which can be difficult when we’re used to being in power positions where we feel that we know everything about everyone else. It takes work to learn how to do this, but it will pay off in ways you never imagined.
By having greater empathy for others, by looking into their eyes, you see what makes them happy, sad or excited. This helps you understand who they are and why they behave like they do.
Making eye contact also shows respect for the person you are meeting, and encourages them to do the same with you. If you ever find yourself avoiding making eye contact, try thinking of a word that describes the person you want to talk to. Chances are, that person has made some significant effort to greet you, so reward them by doing the same.
A lot of things that are marketed as ‘self-help’ books have little to no effect aside from generating income for the author or publisher.
There is an emerging body of research which shows that most interventions actually do not work, and some make things more difficult in the long run.
We each have our own internal set of skills and qualities we use to relate to other people, this changes over time due to external factors such as relationship experiences and life events.
It can be tricky to determine what strategies work for you because we all respond differently to the same situation.
That said, there are a few types of strategies that have been shown to help increase emotional intelligence. Here are three that can be used by anyone! Read on for their benefits and how to implement them into your daily routine.
Share your experiences
One of the important things that helps you develop emotional intelligence is sharing your stories with other people.
As mentioned before, being able to recognize and identify your emotions is one key factor in developing your EI.
By understanding yourself and how you feel, you can be more aware of what’s going on around you and make better decisions.
This is especially true when it comes to relationships- by knowing yourself, you are much more likely to keep commitments and put in the effort into making sure someone else feels loved and wanted.
So why not use this knowledge to improve your own self-confidence and emotional regulation?
You could talk about challenges that you’ve faced, or lessons that you have learned.
Alternatively, you could tell others about achievements that made you happy and/or motivated you.
The latter option is particularly helpful because it creates conversations and opportunities for them to ask you about your feelings.
Be honest with your peers
Sometimes, in our daily lives people will say things to you that may hurt you or make you feel bad. This is normal for human beings; we often need to be exposed to difficult conversations before we can talk about them.
However, if these conversations seem like they are going beyond what should be allowed by law, then it might be time to do some self-evaluation as to whether you have emotional intelligence (EI) under control.
If you find yourself ever needing to take legal action against someone because of something said to you, then chances are you don’t have much EI. You’re more likely to act without thinking first.
Listen to others closely
One of the biggest ways to develop your emotional intelligence is to listen to other people. When someone else has something they are trying to say, get some insight as to what factors make them feel the way they do.
This could be about work or family, or even just because of who they are around. What makes someone laugh is important to know – why might that person not find it funny?
By understanding these things, you can sometimes figure out how to change their mood or influence their behavior towards you.
If you want to improve your own emotional intelligence, start by listening more than before.
You will also need to recognize when someone has made a comment that requires an appropriate response. For example, if someone says “my friend tried to kiss me”, you should probably suggest they both watch a different movie!
Emotional intelligence is a skill that everyone possesses, but some people may use it less frequently than others. Work colleagues with lower EQ scores may benefit from this tip.
Don’t be egotistical
Sometimes we get so focused on ourselves that we forget how important it is to appreciate what you have done for others.
You may think your life can’t possibly contain anyone else, but that isn’t true.
Everyone in this world has at least one other person who cares about them. And they all need our love and attention at some time.
By showing an interest in someone else, whether it is through actions or words, they will feel appreciated and loved.
They will feel like they matter more than before when you show them care. This will make them want to do good things for you and help you out because they sense that you are worthy of their efforts.
It will also motivate them to put in extra effort to prove themselves to you. Both are valuable emotions to stir in people.
A key element to developing emotional intelligence is being able to recognize your own weaknesses. We are all prone to sometimes lose our temper, say something we regret or that may hurt someone else’s feelings.
But if you can identify these behaviors in yourself then you can work on avoiding them or at least understanding why you reacted the way you did.
The same goes for when others put you down or make fun of you. If you cannot help but feel bad about yourself because of what they said, then try to understand their perspective before letting go of any anger.
Your inner self is who you are and it is important to know this person well.
Be honest with yourself and don't compare yourself to anyone else. Your strengths and weaknesses differ from one individual to another and even shift depending on the situation.
Developing your emotional intelligence will take time, practice and effort, but overall, it will improve your quality of life.