Howdy! A Portland, OR native, I currently reside in the northern San Diego County area as a freelance writer. When I'm not sipping coffee, soaking up some rays and writing or playing guitar you can find me at the hot yoga studio.
Whenever a relationship is new, you both have to earn each other’s trust and ultimately, get used to being emotionally vulnerable with one another.
Until that day comes, you will be in a constant state of opening up to each other, one emotion at a time.
It might feel like your whole world is crumbling down around you, that there is no way you are going to survive if this doesn’t get better, but trust me on this, you will survive.
You will survive.
There are certain things that you have to do to emotionally open up in a relationship.
Even though I had mentioned emotions you must be able to express in a relationship in the first step, emotions that are quite often pushed down until you have dealt with the ‘getting to know you’ stage, or you are married with kids.
So, I want to take a look at 3 emotions you must be able to express in a relationship.
And why you should express these.
Love is a great emotion to have in a relationship.
When you fall in love, you feel completely happy and complete. You can’t wait for the person to come home at night.
You love being with each other. You share the same interests and you both try your best to make each other happy.
If you are not in love, how would you be able to talk about your day? Or do anything for each other?
You can express this in a relationship, but it’s all about taking the next step.
What do I mean?
It is a wonderful feeling when your partner makes you breakfast and actually eats it with you.
He or she starts to think about you while preparing dinner. He or she buys flowers just to impress you.
Or he or she wants to meet you halfway to run an errand because they know you will agree.
The more you feel loved, the more you express this emotion.
Every time you make each other laugh, you also feel like the most important person in their life.
Expressing love is a very easy way to open up emotionally in a relationship.
Just make a fool out of yourself with his or her family or friends and you will see how this kind of love will open up your emotions.
This one is not easy to express, but once you are aware of it, you can learn to use it to your advantage.
Jealousy is a word that you don’t even want to think about.
It makes you feel terrible, can destroy a relationship, and, of course, is in some way dangerous to the health of the relationship.
It can get really annoying, and if it is a significant type of jealousy, it will damage your relationship.
But it is amazing what we are capable of using jealousy to our advantage.
If your partner is asking you out on a date, you can respond with jealousy because you want to keep him or her as you are.
You are afraid that if he or she meets someone else, he or she will like her more.
By keeping him or her like you, you can control how much you are shown off to your new partner.
Or if your partner is talking to someone you think is not right for him or her, you can subtly push for his or her attention, knowing that she will eventually give it to him or her.
But if you want to get really serious about a relationship, then you have to push it a little further and say something like:
I’m really jealous you’re with her.
I want to be with you.
So you learn to use jealousy as a weapon in a relationship. But it works.
Sometimes we need to be jealous to keep our partner happy. And that is OK!
You’ve got to show your partner you care. You’ve got to push your buttons.
This one is good for the long term. It brings us closer and makes the relationship stronger.
The problem with people, and the reason they are stressed out, is they don’t allow themselves to be comfortable.
Most people are afraid to allow themselves to be comfortable.
They want everything to be perfect. They are afraid they are going to break the relationship.
For this to happen, you have to learn to give yourself comfort.
You have to tell yourself that if you are not comfortable, it doesn’t mean that your relationship is wrong. It just means that you are human.
So you need to relax, and you need to breathe in and out.
You have to take a step back and be a little selfish with your time and energy.
You need to spend some time with yourself and do what you want to do, without feeling guilty.
You need to make yourself feel special and you have to do it often.
People can stay in a bad relationship because they are scared of being alone.
If you don’t feel you have anything else to offer, you will remain in the relationship for the wrong reasons.
Instead, you need to open yourself up to what is out there and see what happens.
You want to get comfortable with who you are and what you want because you will be able to find better relationships.