Over the past few years, emotional intelligence (or EQ for short) has become one of the most popular leadership theories. It looks at how well you control your own emotions to determine if someone else is going to trust you or not.

This theory was first discussed in the 1990s when Daniel Goleman wrote his bestselling book “Emotional Intelligence.” Since then, it has been studied heavily across several disciplines including business, psychology, medicine, and education.

Many companies now offer training courses in emotional intelligence. These include things like learning how to recognize and manage your own emotions, as well as those of others around you.

Leaders that have high levels of emotional intelligence are thought of as being more sympathetic and understanding. They may even be called ‘gut feeling’ people since they can sense whether another person is telling the truth or not!

Some believe that having higher levels of emotional intelligence makes you better at leading. You will probably make sure that everyone feels included and appreciated, which creates a healthy environment for productivity and motivation.

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However, other studies find that there is no link between EQ and effective leadership. People who think they have good emotional intelligence may actually be bad leaders because they forget that some people may not feel comfortable with them.

In this article we look at the evidence for and against the link between emotional intelligence and leader effectiveness.

Relationship between emotional intelligence and leadership

Recent studies show that having high levels of empathy is a key predictor in becoming a leader.^[a]^ Empathy is defined as understanding what emotions other people are feeling and being able to relate to them.

Many leaders have been lauded for their use of emotion in leading others. Some examples include Churchill’s famous statement, “Never forget how to laugh,” or General George Patton’s exhortation, “Be cheerful when it seems there is no hope; be determined when all seems lost.”

There are several theories about why developing your ability to read and control your own emotions can help you become a leader. One theory suggests that by putting yourself in other people’s shoes, you learn how they feel and thus influence them.

You also begin to understand how they could be experiencing some internal conflict and what might push them into action. This helps you predict how they will respond so you can take necessary steps to get things done.

Ways to improve emotional intelligence

Recent studies have shown that there are several ways to increase your emotional intelligence or EQ. You can learn how to recognize and manage your emotions, develop relationships that are rooted in trust, use motivation effectively, understand what motivates you, and focus on moving forward from past mistakes.

All of these things help you be more successful at work and in life. It sounds complicated, but it isn’t.

Here are some simple strategies for improving your emotional intelligence. Try out one every day for two weeks and see what changes you make.

Become a good listener

Developing your listening skills is one of the most important things you can do as a leader. You will find that there are many times when someone needs some help with their problem, and it’s your job to provide them with solutions they don’t know about yet.

As a leader, you need to be able to listen to others and understand what they are saying. This includes people in your own organization, external organizations, and media reports.

By being a good listener, you show that you care about other people and want to solve their problems. It also helps you gain knowledge and understanding of how things work so that you can better yourself as a leader.

You must develop your ability to pay close attention to what other people say- this includes giving appropriate responses and showing interest in who they are.

It is very difficult to achieve emotional intelligence if you cannot listen to others. Make sure that you look into the eyes of those talking to you, and give a genuine effort to understand what they are telling you.

Running away or changing the topic shows that you didn’t really listened to them, which could hurt your relationships or make it hard for you to get necessary information.

Be realistic

A lot of people have a very idealized picture of what emotional intelligence is. They believe that being aware of your emotions means you will never be able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes or lose your temper, but this isn’t true at all.

Some experts even go as far as saying it can actually make things way worse for you because they think you are not capable of strong emotion so you don’t learn how to deal with them properly.

If you want to improve your emotional intelligence, then there is no point looking into the reasons why someone might feel angry about something you said or into whether you should give up chocolate because it makes you hungry. You need to simply acknowledge those feelings when they arise and try to understand them before moving on.

You also need to recognize when someone feels hurt or upset about something you did and work to make sure they feel better. This could mean offering comforting words, doing something fun for them, or just letting them talk through their thoughts while you process yours.

Running away from your problems only makes matters get worse because you create more space for negative energy to grow and linger.

Understand your own emotions

A large part of being a leader is understanding your own emotions. You will probably go through many different emotions while serving as a leader, but you must understand what these are and how to manage them.

Research has shown that people who have high emotional intelligence are more likely to be successful leaders. This includes having leadership skills such as motivating others to work with you, being able to identify important issues for your team, and being able to use empathy when dealing with others.

It also looks like EQ comes in more specific areas, such as empathizing or taking time to know another person before assuming their behavior reflects something about you.

With all this said, here are some tips to help you develop your emotional intelligence.

Use your emotions for your team

As a leader, you will need to use your emotions for your team sometimes. You may have to laugh with them after a hard day at work. You may need to be angry or frustrated with someone on their performance, even if it is just for a few minutes.

You can’t expect people to respect you and follow you when they don’t see how you respond to setbacks and challenges.

If you want to inspire loyalty in others, show them that you can handle stress and challenge well. Demonstrate that you can face difficult situations with courage and strength.

Be honest with your team

As a leader, you must be able to identify when your team is down and out. You have to be able to tell if they are struggling with their job responsibilities or if something has them down as an individual.

It’s important that they feel like they can come to you with anything and know that you will always treat them with respect.

As a leader, you want to make sure that they trust you so it is essential that you are open, honest and direct about things. If there is ever something that seems off then you need to address it immediately!

You also need to be aware of how people around you are interacting with each other. Is everything going well between colleagues? If not, why might that be?

If you notice any tension in the workplace, do whatever you can to reduce it. A lot of times, under-the-radar tensions grow into more serious issues.

Be authentic

Being authentic is more than just being yourself, it is understanding who you are and what your strengths and weaknesses are and using them to serve others. It is developing confidence in yourself and knowing that your skills and abilities can be used for good.

Many people think that emotional intelligence (EI) is only important for leadership roles, but this assumption is wrong. This theory argues that everything about you comes from two main components: empathy and self-awareness.

In fact, there are several studies proving that EI has an effect on employees outside of leading by example. When workers perceive their leader as having high levels of EQ, they feel motivated and inspired to do their best work.

As leaders, we need to understand how emotions influence those around us. Just because something made me angry does not mean that it will make someone else get fired or give up on his/her job.

When I was twenty years old, I worked at a restaurant with some very hardworking individuals. One employee would go above and beyond every day without praise, encouragement, or recognition. He constantly put in extra effort, always had the eye roll or frown prepared for anything new coming into the workplace, and stayed after hours to finish projects.

It took me a while to realize why he acted like this, but once I did, it made sense. His parents passed away when he was young, and he never really formed strong relationships with anyone.