How Good Is My Emotional Intelligence
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People often talk about emotional intelligence (EI) as if it is a skill that you are either have or you do not. This assumption may be why some people feel overwhelmed by all of the different types of EI assessments and tools available.
There is, however, an important nuance to understanding how good your own EQ is. Rather than thinking about whether you have “emotional” intelligence or not, think about what kind of balance you have in your EQ.
You can always learn more strategies for using your EQ to promote positive emotions and reduce negative ones. Plus, practicing these strategies will help you develop your overall EQ!
Emotions connect us to each other and make relationships work. They also motivate us to take action and improve our lives. Unfortunately, many individuals lack adequate levels of empathy which limits their interactions with others and contributes to interpersonal stress.
This article will discuss five ways to boost your emotional quotient (EQ). However, before we get into those tips, let’s review some definitions.
Many people believe that emotional intelligence (or EQ for short) is important, but there are no standardized tests to measure it. Some theories about what makes up your EQ include understanding others’ emotions, using appropriate levels of emotion, being able to read other people, and controlling your own moods and reactions.
However, most experts agree that having empathy is an integral part of developing your overall EQ. “Emotional literacy comes before emotional management,” says psychologist Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence.
So how do you know if you have more than just surface level empathetic skills? You can start by asking yourself these questions, according to Marie Jones, author of The Everyday Guide To Developing Your Emotional Intelligence.
Does this situation make me feel uncomfortable or happy? Why am I feeling this way? What could I do to improve this situation? These are some helpful questions to ask yourself.
If you want to see whether you have solid EQ-level skills, look out for examples where you’re able to apply them. If someone tells a joke at your expense, try to understand why they laughed instead of getting angry.
Your friends might not be telling you everything about their lives, but chances are good that they’ve got something going on that they don’t share.
Having strong emotional intelligence is a key part of being happy and successful in life. You'll know you have good emotional control when you're able to recognize your emotions and be aware of how they influence other people, yourself, and situations.
Many experts believe that we all have some degree of emotional intelligence (EI), but it really comes down to whether you use your emotion knowledge to help others develop their own self-awareness or if you use it to strengthen your own perception of who the person across from you is.
If the first option wins the race, then you've got some decent EI. If the second option takes over, then maybe you should consider looking into your own emotional health more closely.
It's not all it's cracked up to be
Many people believe that being emotionally intelligent means you're smart about your emotions, which is definitely a part of it, but there are others who think that being emotional means you're just like me-I'm always angry or frustrated.
That isn't quite right either!
Emotionally intelligent individuals recognize and understand their own feelings while at the same time understanding how other people feel around them. They know when something is going well for someone else in the room and they may use this information to make sure they don’t interfere, but also to help anyone who looks like they need some encouragement or motivation.
They also have strategies for dealing with their own feelings so that they can function effectively.
Here are some tips for improving it
Developing your emotional intelligence (EI) is a process that can be practiced consistently, over time. It’s not about having more emotions or being able to express them better, but rather using your feelings to help you achieve your goals and fulfill your responsibilities.
Many people with high EI also refer to themselves as “emotionally intelligent.” This concept doesn’t seem very motivating, though!
So what can we do to improve our own emotional intelligence?
Here are five easy ways to boost your EQ:
1. Use emotion regulation strategies
This means learning how to manage your emotions so they don’t control you too much. Many of these strategies focus on reducing stress and finding new ways to deal with difficult situations.
Some examples of this include talking yourself down from an angry mood, thinking through the consequences of acting on a feeling, and putting things into perspective (“It's only a cup of tea”).
2. Monitor your emotions
You may be familiar with the term ‘feeling-monitoring’, which involves noticing and labeling your thoughts and feelings.
Read more tips for improving your emotional intelligence
Many people think that being emotionally intelligent means you are aware of all of someone else’s emotions, and thus use this information to manipulate them.
This is not quite right! Being emotionally intelligent doesn’t mean knowing what everyone else is feeling, it means understanding your own feelings and how they influence other people.
It also takes into account how others perceive their own feelings and how they express those feelings.
Work on self-awareness
A big part of emotional intelligence is understanding yourself. This includes your strengths and weaknesses, as well as how you feel about different things.
It also means being aware of your emotions – whether they are in control or not. Becoming more aware of your feelings can help you understand what’s going on inside you, and give you some insight into who you are.
You may find it helpful to take notes on how you're feeling at various times, and try looking back on past experiences for clues.
Be honest with yourself
One of the most important things you can do to improve your emotional intelligence is be honest with yourself.
You’d like to think that emotions are just personal experiences, but they're not.
Emotions are actually a tool for understanding other people and the world around you.
This way of looking at it might sound weird or even cliché, but it's true – building your EI means thinking about how others could benefit from what you're feeling right now.
Your own feelings are too often influenced by external factors, though. This makes it hard to look inside yourself and understand why you feel a certain way.
It also makes it difficult to recognize your own strengths and weaknesses as an empath.
By being aware of your strengths and weaknesses, you'll have better control over your moods and mental state, which will help you in life.
Be honest with others
Being able to read people is an important quality in life. Whether you’re trying to get a job, win over someone else about a business deal or just understand what makes someone else lose their cool, understanding other people is integral to living a happy life.
Having strong emotional intelligence (EI) means being aware of your own emotions and how they affect others. You also must be able to identify and describe those of other people so that you can better understand them.
It may sound simple, but it takes practice. And no matter what kind of person you are, there will be times when you have to put your skills into use.
Fortunately, you don’t need to feel like you’re constantly running for the bus to learn how to hone your EI. There are some strategies and exercises that can help you on your journey towards greater empathy.
Here are eight ways to boost your emotional quotient. Try one or all of these every day to see changes in your EQ.