Over the past few years, emotional intelligence (EI) has become one of the most popular workplace qualities to promote. Companies are offering online courses and seminars that teach you how to improve your EI or learn more about it, in order to optimize their departments.

Many make no secret of its importance in shaping success at work, promoting it as an essential factor for career advancement and reward motivation.

It’s easy to see why people would latch onto such a nebulous concept. After all, we all have emotions, and some people seem to be better controlers of them than others!

But what does “control my own emotions” really mean? And is being aware of ones’s own emotions a good thing or a bad thing?

This article will try to answer these questions by breaking down the different types of emotional intelligence. Then, I will discuss whether having higher levels of each type is actually helpful or not.

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Factors that affect our emotional intelligence

One of the most important things you can work to develop as an empath or someone with high emotional intelligence is understanding what factors influence your EQ.

This article will talk about some of these potential influencers, why they matter, and how to strengthen yours in the process.

The first factor we should discuss is genetics. Your genetic makeup impacts how you perceive and respond to emotions.

Some people are just born with higher emotional quotients (EQs) than others. This may be due to their parents sharing frequent eye contact, expression of feelings, and other nonverbal behaviors.

It also depends on whether your ancestors were drawn from cultures that value empathy and compassion, or ones that don’t.

Ways to improve our emotional intelligence

Over the past few years, there has been a growing interest in how important your emotional quotient (EQ) is in your life. Many experts feel that we are living in an increasingly emotionally-charged environment where people are experiencing higher levels of stress than ever before.

This increasing level of stress can have negative impacts on you physically and mentally. Research shows that high amounts of stress may even contribute to disease or premature death.

So what is emotional intelligence? This term was first used in the 1980s when psychologists noticed that some individuals were able to relate more effectively to others and control their emotions better than others.

Some researchers believe that this ability is linked to social success and happiness. Others think it’s just natural talent that some people had born with.

Regardless, improving your EQ isn’t easy, but it is something you can work on every day for the rest of your life. Here are some ways to do so.

Ways to be more emotional intelligent

Over the past few years, there has been a lot of talk about how important it is to have strong emotions and learn how to manage them.

Some people refer to this as being in your feelings or having higher emotional intelligence (EI).

Research shows that having high EI can help you achieve success in life. For example, studies indicate that individuals with higher EI are happier than those who do not.

Furthermore, researchers believe that having high EI helps protect us from developing mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression by helping us regulate our emotions.

So what makes someone seem like they have higher EI? There are several different factors, some internal and some external.

Here we will go over two ways to improve your emotional intelligence – practicing acceptance and mindfulness.

Take control of your emotions

Most people have a tendency to get more emotional as they age, which is normal. After all, you’re spending more time in understanding what things mean to you and how you feel about them.

That said, there are some ways that your EI could be limiting your happiness.

If you find yourself getting increasingly angry or upset with everything and everyone, it may be because of your limited empathy.

You see too much similarity between yourself and other people and this makes you perceive others as like you – thinking that they think and believe similarly to you. This can make you overestimate their importance to life and underestimate their effect on you.

On the contrary, people who know you well can tell when something isn’t quite right. If someone else seems unhappy, they might ask if you’re okay or try to understand why you’re feeling down. This is one of the main reasons that relationships stay healthy — we're not always so self-focused.

Your empathy levels will naturally decrease as you grow older, but you can still do your best to work on it. Try practicing basic nonverbal cues such as using facial expressions, body language, and silence to show sympathy for another person's situation.

Become a better listener

Being a good listener is one of the most important skills you can develop because it shapes how others perceive you. Your listeners will be more likely to feel comfortable around you if they believe you are willing to listen to them.

It also helps you build trust with other people, which is key in achieving goals. The same thing applies when you are being listened to — you must sense that you have been given meaningful information and that someone cares about what you have to say.

Good listening involves paying close attention to what other people are saying while at the same time showing an appropriate level of interest. It’s not enough to simply give occasional ear-to-mouth responses or even to agree with what was said unless you really understand what was said!

If you struggle to listen effectively, try using a simple tool to improve your listening skills. Use of body language such as looking people in their eyes and responding appropriately to their comments can help you hone your listening skills.

Practice having difficult conversations

Even if you don’t consider yourself to have a high EQ, you can still learn how to have conversations that are not only productive, but also positive. It doesn’t matter whether it is about business or personal relationships- anything related to communication skills should be able to help you grow as a person.

Conversational psychology isn’t just for people with low self-esteem, it is something every one of us needs to hone. While some may think that having an argument or a disagreement makes them look good, what most likely happens is that they push others away and prove that they do not like being disagreed with.

If you want to improve your interpersonal relations, then there is no better place to start than by learning how to disagree (and doing so from a healthy place). When we agree without thinking, it often times comes across as fake and/or condescending.

Be realistic

Many people may consider you to have high emotional intelligence (EI) because you seem very aware of and understanding of other peoples’ emotions.

However, this doesn’t necessarily make you a good person or leader of others.

Some people who are highly emotionally intelligent lack moral integrity and don’t care about anyone but themselves.

You can also be too focused on your own feelings to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and understand their situation. This is not only bad for them, it can be hard to motivate them if they feel ignored or disregarded.

It takes a lot more than just knowing what another feels before you can predict how they will behave in any given situation. You need to be able to apply that knowledge to situations beyond just friends or family members.

That is why having strong leadership skills is so important – you must be able to influence and work with different individuals to get things done.

Develop your self-confidence

Having good emotional intelligence (EI) is like having strong muscles in body – you have to work at it, but once you do, you will know how to use them efficiently.

It helps you manage your own emotions as well as other people’s, which are both important skills.

In fact, studies show that being able to read someone’s emotions accurately is one of the most predictive factors for success in relationships.

So while some may think that ‘the beautiful person has lots of friends because they are happy all the time’, this isn’t always the case!

Many successful people suffer from what we call 'casual sad faces', so don't assume that just because someone looks slightly down or tired, they aren’t feeling very happy.

We all have different levels of EI, and there is no way to develop yours without practicing using them - even if only a little bit every day.