How Lack Of Emotional Intelligence Changes Everything
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A lot of people think that being smart is to know as much about many things as possible. This isn’t necessarily wrong, but it can be very limiting. Being smart means knowing a lot, but not always how to apply what you know.
Smart people may also have lots of skills and abilities, but they may lack emotional intelligence (EI).
Emotional intelligence involves understanding your own emotions and those of others, and using these insights to relate to other people and form strong friendships or romantic relationships.
It also includes controlling your own moods and behaviors, which are important for self-confidence and success in life.
Some people are more emotionally intelligent than others, just like some people are smarter than others. But most people fall somewhere in the middle when it comes to EI.
This article will talk about several ways to improve your emotional intelligence.
Held up against academic qualifications, general good qualities such as empathy and compassion, this is arguably better because it helps us with something we all need in our lives – relationship happiness and satisfaction.
So whether you believe you have enough or too much emotion intelligence, improving yours could boost both your mental and physical wellness. And don’t forget, anyone can learn new skills, even if you think you can’t!
Making changes to achieve this can feel hard at times, but there are plenty of strategies and tricks to help.
Definition of emotional awareness
A key part of emotional intelligence is being aware of your own emotions. You can be totally unaware that you are feeling angry, hurt, or stressed about something, but still at least somewhat conscious of what you are feeling.
This isn’t just knowing whether you like someone or not — it goes deeper than that. It includes things such as understanding why you feel the way you do and recognizing the signs that you are under stress.
Definition of self-awareness
A key part of emotional intelligence is understanding yourself. This includes knowing your strengths and weaknesses, as well as being aware of your emotions.
It also means recognizing what makes you feel good about yourself and how to use those things to motivate you. In other words, self-knowledge is important in helping you regulate your emotions and achieve your goals.
Many people lack self-awareness. They may not know much about themselves beyond their name and job. Or they might recognize some qualities but not others depending on which side of the mirror they are looking through.
Some people seem never to learn anything new about themselves even though they’re constantly changing and developing. This can sometimes make them seem very inconsistent or even unknowable.
Self-aware individuals understand that change comes with life and they're able to adjust better than before. They may still have ups and downs, but they're more likely to see the downturn as something temporary instead of something lasting.
Definition of managing your emotions
Defining emotional intelligence (EI) is like defining size. There are many definitions, but most agree that it involves how well you manage or control your own feelings and those of other people.
Some say it’s just knowing what your own feelings are and being able to describe them, while others believe it’s having positive thoughts about yourself and giving yourself good praise. Some experts even include things like motivation in their definition.
Whatever version you choose, remember that the more you have of this quality, the better everyone around you will feel. They’ll be happier for interacting with you, and you’ll enjoy spending time together more because they’ll want to be close to you.
Your colleagues and friends will trust you more since you won’t appear distracted or lack self-control. And your family will probably think much less about you leaving them behind when you go off to do something you’ve been planning for a long time.
Definition of interpersonal skills
Interpersonal skills are characterized as “the knowledge, processes, and behaviors that enable you to function effectively in social situations”.
Inter personal skill is more than knowing how to talk to people – it is having adequate self-esteem so that you feel comfortable talking to anyone. It includes understanding body language, reading nonverbal cues, and being aware of appropriate timing for conversations.
It also means using appropriate tone, voice, and volume during conversations. For example, if your tone of voice is angry or irritable, this will not help you achieve your goals.
Some examples of poor interpersonal skills include saying hurtful things with no real reason, being dishonest about who you are and what you do, refusing to acknowledge someone when they try to speak to you, and acting like an arrogant jerk. All of these show lack of emotional intelligence.
Definition of effective communication
Defining effective communication is not an easy task as there are many different definitions. However, one of the most accepted definitions comes from psychologist Albert Mehrabian in his book _Silent Messages_. He defined it as “the use of vocal and nonverbal messages to convey specific meanings to recipients”.
He also described two main types of verbal messages – direct (telling) and indirect (suggesting). Direct messages emphasize clarity while indirect ones sometimes lack this and instead focus on leaving a positive feeling in the recipient.
Indirect messages can be more powerful than direct ones because they appeal to your internal sense of how things should feel — what emotions you want to experience. This makes them easier for people who don’t agree with the message to ignore or even reject, which helps neutralize the argument.
I have discussed before why having emotional intelligence is important, but let me give you another example.
Definition of happiness
There is a myth that once you feel happy, you have achieved your goal to be happier. That can’t be further from the truth!
It may seem like a good thing to be able to say that you are now feeling happy, but this perception is false.
By defining “happiness” as simply being in an emotional state, we lose sight of what true happiness means.
We also forget that not every emotion is positive. Some are negative like fear or anger.
A person with low EQ will often times experience emotions without realizing why they are having these feelings. They may misinterpret their thoughts and feelings and therefore cannot recognize them for what they are—just things happening around them that don’t necessarily relate to each other.
In fact, some experts believe that one of the reasons people struggle living life beyond the surface level is because they do not know how to identify their own emotions.
So while someone might think they are confident, really all they know about themselves is that at some given moment, they were confident.
They could not tell if they were actually confident before or after that moment.
This lack of understanding of oneself is harmful and can hurt others.
If you want to be happier, try learning a little bit more about yourself and develop the skills to manage your emotions.
Start by asking yourself questions about yourself.
Take care of your mental health
If you feel that your emotional well-being is not enough, there are things you can do to address this. Try talking about your feelings with someone close to you, getting help for depression or anxiety, seeking professional counseling, learning how to manage your stressors, practicing relaxation exercises, and focusing on activities you enjoy to reduce work stress.
Running down of all the possible ways to improve your emotional intelligence will take time so don’t get discouraged! Keep trying, it will make a difference.
Another way to increase your EI is by spending time with people who have high levels of empathy. People who understand and relate to others and who use their emotions to motivate them are experts in emotion.
This may be difficult if you don’t like to show your emotions or if you tend to think before you act. But investing in friendships that require effort and understanding other people could lead to improved emotional skills.
Learn to laugh
A lot of people are very serious about life. They seem preoccupied with their careers, money, and things they want or need.
They have little time for friends because they work all day and spend most of their nights alone. They may even avoid doing things that don’t feel like they “pay well.”
This is not a healthy way to live.
By limiting your self-expression, you cut off part of your heart. You lose touch with your inner feelings and emotions, and thus, you stop learning important lessons from daily experiences.