People are always talking about emotional intelligence (EI) as if it is a new skill to have or a way to improve your self-esteem, but that’s not quite accurate. You already have all of these skills, you just may not know what their names are!

Many people refer to this as “self-awareness,” but that isn’t right either. Self-awareness means knowing who you are and how you feel around yourself and other people. It is also known as personal growth or development.

Self-aware individuals recognize their strengths and weaknesses, and they use those strengths to succeed in life. They understand their emotions and learn how to manage them so that they don’t affect what they do.

It sounds like a tall order, but there are actually several types of EI tools you can develop. Some are more important than others, depending on what you want to achieve and who you want to be happier with.

The first type we will look at is called empathizing. This is described as being able to identify and understand someone else’s feelings.

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Next we will discuss understanding oneself, which includes knowledge of one’s strengths and weaknesses as well as an awareness of situational factors that influence mental state.

After that, we will talk about managing ones’ own emotion, including recognizing, avoiding, and responding effectively to one’s own feelings.

Impulse control

A key part of emotional intelligence is impulse control. This can be seen as something that directly correlates with self-control, although they are not exactly the same.

Self-control comes down to being able to manage your emotions and behaviors in order to achieve your goals. It requires you to think about how you feel and try to suppress those feelings in order to perform certain tasks.

Impulse control works more subtly, however. It refers to our ability to stop things we want to do for a few seconds until we realize it’s no longer helpful.

This happens when someone else says “no” to what you wanted to do (or when they agree). Or when you yourself say “no” to an offer or request because you have other plans already lined up.

It also includes letting go of your desire to do something even if it seems like your best option at the time. You may need to give up your hope of finding better opportunities later, too.

There will always be times when you cannot afford the small amount of time it takes to develop this skill. But thinking ahead and recognizing these instances is important so you don’t end up doing something you regret.

Antisocial behavior

Social skills are important to live your life successfully. It is not enough just to have good social interactions, you need to be able to manage them. People who lack this skill tend to get involved in lots of different situations but never seem to feel relaxed or comfortable.

They may avoid close relationships because they cannot maintain silence when someone else speaks, they can’t control their temper, and they don’t know how to respond to things that make other people angry. They might stay away from groups of people if they are constantly hurt by what others say or do.

It's very difficult for people with low levels of emotional intelligence to understand why other people behave the way they do. They could easily think that something was wrong with them rather than looking at the reasons behind the behavior.

There are several types of antisocial behaviors. Some examples include:

Killing or harming animals or plants чисто воля за живую

Throwing around objects to cause damage

Drinking alcohol or drugs to the exclusion of all other activities

Banging your head against a wall until you injure yourself or break something

Self-injury like cutting yourself or hitting your body

If these behaviors start to occur more frequently or seriously affect your daily functioning, it may be time to look into whether there is a risk of violence.

The ability to motivate yourself

Motivation is your inner strength to perform an action or task. You are motivated when you feel that you cannot fail in doing something, you want to do it, and you have enough internal motivation to start moving forward.

Most people believe that being motivated means just making a decision and acting on it, but this isn’t necessarily the case. It takes more than mere will power to be consistently productive and succeed.

It takes understanding how personality traits like emotional intelligence (EI) influence motivational levels. These traits include such things as empathy, self-awareness, and leadership skills.

There are several theories about what makes someone more likely to be engaged and motivated. Some say it’s related to their socialization, while others suggest it’s innate characteristics they was born with.

Regardless of which theory is correct, one thing is clear: people who score higher on measures of EI are more likely to be engaged and motivated. That’s why it’s important to develop your overall level of EI.

The ability to motivate others

Motivation is a skill, like speaking or writing. You are not born with it, but you can learn it through practice. Like anything else, there are different levels of motivation that one has.

Some people have an innate desire to help other people, and this helps them gain popularity. This isn’t always the case, however.

There was a student at my school who struggled in our academic setting. He would get very excited about something we were studying, and he would try to talk us into understanding it, but his enthusiasm waned quickly.

He didn’t seem to care much about learning, which made him difficult to teach. It also hurt his grade point average because he wouldn’t put in the effort needed to earn good grades.

This person lacked what experts call emotional intelligence. They don’t understand how to apply empathy to people around them, and it costs them dearly.

Fortunately, emotional intelligence can be learned. Just like any other skills, you have to work at it every day until you reach your goal.

You will probably never be totally motivated all the time, but by using your emotional intelligence skills, you should be able to identify when someone needs your help and why they need it.

That way, you can go ahead and give them their wanted help, while still feeling happy for yourself.

The ability to adapt to situations

Another important emotional intelligence skill is your ability to be able to regulate your emotions in various situations. This means being able to control how you respond to things like conversations, people, and experiences.

People who have this quality are typically considered to have “self-control” when it comes to emotional responses. In fact, some experts believe that it is one of the most important skills you can develop because it impacts nearly every area of your life.

This may sound obvious, but it's something many people don't learn until much later in life. You would think that as we get older, our automatic reactions would slow down, but studies show the opposite - developing self-regulation actually gets harder as we age.

It's thought to be due to reduced levels of dopamine, the brain chemical that helps us feel happy and motivated. As you grow older, there are even studies showing that you might need more dopamine to achieve the same level of happiness or motivation.

Positive attitude

A second-order ability is called positive attitude. This refers to your internal perception of life events, things, people, and experiences. You are asked during interviews if you would be able to deal with negative situations with us and that is a good indicator of whether you have a high level of emotional intelligence or not.

If you can’t handle being in an environment where there is lots of negativity, then you probably don’t like dealing with negative people. Or maybe you are more likely to show your anger and frustration by throwing a drink at someone rather than saying something calm and rational.

You see what I mean? Obviously, avoiding alcohol is a better option! But we could also say that having low levels of emotional intelligence is a bad thing because it may lead to poor relationships and functioning outside of work.

Emotionally intelligent individuals recognize and understand their emotions and those of others around them. They learn how to manage these emotions and apply this knowledge in daily life.