How Rare Is Emotional Intelligence
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People with high emotional intelligence are not as focused on how they feel about things, or whether something makes them happy or unhappy, but instead focus more on how to make other people feel good about themselves and give appropriate recognition when someone does a nice thing for them.
They also use their emotions in a productive way. For example, if you’re having a bad day, they may help you reduce your stress by pointing out some of the things you have done well.
Emotions play an important role in social interactions so being able to control yours is a key factor in success.
However, there are only few studies that test directly for emotional intelligence. Even fewer tests have been validated against a comprehensive definition of emotional intelligence.
This article will discuss the importance of emotional literacy and describe some ways to improve your emotional skills.
Factors that affect emotional intelligence
There are several factors that play a major role in someone’s overall level of EI.
Some of these factors are internal (psychological) and some external (social). Some influence your EQ only during certain times, while others remain constant throughout life.
Certain personality traits can be used to describe someone as having either high or low levels of emotional intelligence. These descriptions aren’t always easy to identify because they don’t necessarily show up in all situations. However, there are ways to determine if someone is an extrovert or introvert, for example, which can help us understand whether their sense of EE comes more from outside sources or inside ones.
Other important characteristics include how well you relate to people, how much empathy you have, and whether you use emotion to control other things in your life — like business strategies, for instance.
With respect to the first factor, research has shown that genetics play a small part in determining your level of EE. This doesn’t mean that parents’ emotions don’t shape children’s emotions, but it does suggest that kids with higher EE than yours may inherit this quality from their family members.
However, most experts agree that early experiences make a bigger impact on our long-term moods and behaviors. The way we are raised by our caregivers impacts what kind of person we become.
Relationship between emotional intelligence and happiness
Recent research suggests that being emotionally intelligent is one of the most important things for your overall happiness. It's also a skill you can learn like any other.
Many studies have shown that people who are more socially aware and understand emotions are happier than those who aren't.
You may be familiar with this concept from before when some researchers pointed out that there's a big difference in happiness between people who are very socialized and individuals who are less so. (Think about it - what kind of person is mostly quiet and doesn't talk much?)
More recently, though, experts have identified something called emotional intelligence as an even bigger predictor of happiness than socialization.
This was made possible through surveys that ask questions such as "What makes you happy?" or "What do you think would make someone else happy?". Responses to these types of questions are used to determine someone's emotional quotient (EQ).
The EQ test typically asks about how well you know yourself and others, how you use emotion to regulate your behavior, and whether you use emotion to motivate action. Some tests include questions about gratitude, humility, and empathy.
Relationship between emotional intelligence and success
Recent research suggests that having high levels of EQ is not just a nice-to-have quality, but it can be an important predictor of successful relationships and career outcomes.
In fact, there are some studies suggesting that being emotionally intelligent may even be more predictive of someone’s long term health and well-being than IQ!
So how do we measure emotional intelligence?
We asked experts to give us a standard way to assess people's levels of emotional intelligence, and then had them test each other to see if they were indeed highly empathic. What we found was quite surprising.
Most people don't think about their level of empathy too often, unless you look for it. And most people aren't looking for it. So very few people have any idea whether they're in the top one percent or the bottom twenty-nine percentile when it comes to their sense of compassion.
That makes sense because while everyone has a basic instinctual understanding of emotions, what happens next is different person by person. Some learn to suppress their natural feelings, while others get help figuring out which emotions are worth having and when.
Some use their own experiences with emotion as examples and apply those lessons to others. Others find ways to work through their feelings externally using skills like meditation, self-reflection, or talking to close friends or family members.
The future of emotional intelligence
Over the past few years, there has been an explosion of interest in what is now being called “emotional literacy” or “self-control.” This term seems to emphasize the importance of understanding your emotions and how to regulate them.
Some even go as far to say that having higher levels of emotional intelligence (EI) will determine if you get promoted, given a bigger pay check, or survive a relationship crisis or break up.
While this may sound dramatic, it is true. Why? Because we all have different levels of EI, and those with high EI are better able to understand their own feelings and identify why other people feel certain ways.
They also know how to influence others’ emotions in positive ways and negative ones, which helps them form strong relationships. And they know how to manage their own moods and stress levels.
Ways to improve emotional intelligence
Recent studies suggest that being able to read someone’s emotions is an important factor in achieving success, both professionally and in your personal life.
Emotional intelligence (EI) was first defined as “the ability to identify one's own feelings and those of others, be aware of the differences between them, and use this knowledge to manage oneself and other people."
But there are some who argue that the term "emotional intelligence" isn't clearly defined and doesn't have any sound empirical evidence supporting it.
Furthermore, many say that trying to increase EI by practicing exercises such as identifying ones' emotions and understanding why another person might feel a certain way about you is more like enhancing social skills than improving true empathy.
Speak with passion
Most people are not good at recognizing, understanding, and expressing their emotions. In fact, we’re usually in control of our emotional reactions for only about 20-25% of our lives!
This is an important realization because most jobs require you to interact with other people – whether it’s for your career or personal life.
Emotions play a big part in interpersonal relationships, so being able to recognize them and regulate yours efficiently will help you achieve your goals and enjoy time with others.
Fortunately, there are some ways to improve your emotional intelligence (EI). You can learn how to be more aware and understand yourself and other people’s emotions, as well as manage your own emotions.
There are many theories about what makes someone have high EI, but no one definitive source. However, research does suggest that genetics play a significant role in individual differences in EI.
Other factors include early experiences, socialization, and lifestyle. Because these things affect our biology and psychology, they also influence EI.
So, here are 10 tips to boost your emotional intelligence. Try out one new thing per week and see how you feel after doing it for a few days. This will take effort over time, but won’t occur if you drop something immediately!
1. Increase empathy
Many psychologists define empathy as the ability to put yourself in another person's place and relate to them on a mental level.
Teach people to be authentic
Recent research suggests that being able to read other people’s emotions is an important quality for achieving success in life. More and more studies suggest that having strong emotional intelligence (EI) makes it possible to achieve your goals, enjoy this goal-achieving process, and keep yourself motivated during times when you feel tired or discouraged.
There are several theories about what makes someone have high EI, but one of the most widely accepted ones says that people with higher EI are just “more aware” of how others around them feel. This theory explains why some people seem to get along easily with everyone, while others are only friends with a few people.
It also helps explain why some people never manage to motivate themselves to do things they want to do — they don’t recognize their own need for motivation.
Another theory proposes that people who are highly emotionally intelligent understand how feelings influence behavior. They know that if you make someone angry, she/he will probably try to hurt you back by acting negatively towards you. At the same time, they know that if you make her/him happy, she/ he will likely behave positively towards you.
These two concepts combine into a belief that nobody really knows anything about you, so there’s no good reason to assume that he or she can tell how you’ll react to something unless you tell him or her first.
Most people are not emotionally intelligent. This is very apparent when you look around you. People who seem quite emotional, even in stressful situations are actually very self-centered. They care only about themselves and what benefits they get from things.
There’s a reason that someone with low emotional intelligence gets paid more than twice as much as someone with high emotional intelligence.
A few years ago, psychologists started measuring something called “emotional quotient (EQ).” The EQ test asks questions like:
What is this person like?
How does this person relate to others?
Does this person enjoy studying?
Why doesn’t this person seem happy?
Based off of those answers, how well do you think this person would be at reading other peoples emotions?
The truth is that most people aren’t very good at it. A lot of us have our own internal struggle or fear that keeps us from being able to understand why other people feel the way they do.
We sometimes don’t believe other people when they tell us they love us because we don’t see it displayed in actions. Or maybe we can’t accept that they didn’t call us back after they said they was going to help us out because they thought we weren’t worth their time.
Emotions are powerful.