This article will discuss how success changes a man. It doesn’t matter if you’re a writer, actor, doctor, entrepreneur, or firefighter. Success is what defines you, and it does so in ways you may not expect.

Success is a state of mind, a defining vision, but it is also a strategy to making it happen. Success isn’t handed to you, and it’s much more like a race than a checklist to find and achieve.

When we discuss success, we often consider the quality of work we do and the recognition we receive.

While these factors do play a part, I find that they’re not always the only aspect that defines success.

How a man chooses to perceive his success is a key component of his life.

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Look at successful people and their choices

When you look at successful people and their choices, and you’ll find that a man who chooses to fail at something is probably much more successful than a man who achieves greatness, despite having the same number of promotions and awards.

There’s a reason many people end up believing that there’s no better way to live life than a man in the “real world,” but there are.

You can have the best career, only buy $10 products, and travel the world every few weeks, but if you believe that being “successful” means having a lot of money or a lot of stuff, you’ll never accomplish your true potential.

The goal of any man is to reach the height of success.

And what makes this achievement remarkable is that if you fall short, you’ll be okay. But if you miss the mark, it can cripple you for life.

You can’t become as successful as your goals dictate if you spend your life chasing things that don’t matter.

Success is one thing, but when we lose sight of our goals, we lose sight of who we really are. We become the men we know we should have been all along.

But instead of lamenting our disappointment, let’s choose to be men who are determined to get closer to our goals.

Here’s how:

Conquer your mind

It’s ironic how sometimes what prevents us from achieving our goals is exactly what will bring us closer to them.

I’ve spent years chasing fame, money, and more, but what I wasn’t doing was challenging myself mentally.

If I could remain unapologetically hungry, then I wouldn’t be lacking in quality, because the quantity of something isn’t an indicator of its quality.

I’ve learned that what turns my head is feeling unapologetically unsuccessful.

If I feel like I’m moving closer to my goals, but not winning, I’m left feeling like I have to chase more and more; therefore, I’m not getting closer to what I truly want.

Once I faced failure at something, I had to ask myself, “What can I learn from this experience?”

Not only did this change my perspective, but it also made me more determined to succeed because I was no longer merely chasing the wrong goals.

This is one of the reasons I surround myself with winners, as opposed to the sons of winos.

I also stopped worrying about external validation and started building my own self-esteem.

Create your own goals, then attack them from a point of pain

To be successful, you have to face your fears. But to face your fears, you have to be prepared to get hurt.

The biggest mistake most people make when it comes to setting goals is not going all in.

They think, “I want to get on the right path, so I’ll start working on my dreams by using fear as my motivating force.”

But if you go through the motions without setting realistic goals, you won’t be able to measure your progress.

The only way you can know where you’re at is if you experience pain; the only way you can experience success is when you experience pain.

In other words, if you want to learn how to create and achieve more, you have to feel pain, and you have to go through a certain amount of it before you experience success.

You have to suffer so you can feel alive

Nobody wakes up one morning and decides to be successful. Success is the byproduct of a long, painful process.

Yes, there are pain benefits, but there are also setbacks. There’s a reason why the greatest athletes train for years before they achieve greatness.

You can achieve anything you want, but if you want to be truly successful, you need to allow yourself to be vulnerable and willing to fail.

You also have to realize that you will likely not accomplish your goals unless you’re willing to pay the price for them.

If you want to be successful, you have to bleed to gain the understanding to succeed.

You have to put your soul on the line because if you do, you will become the type of man who defines success for himself.