How To Be An Emotional Intelligence Coach
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Over the past few years, emotional intelligence (“EI”) has become one of the most popular leadership theories in business. Many companies make grand promises about how investing in EI will improve employee engagement, teamwork, and productivity.
But is it all hype? Is there really anything helpful about being “emotion smart”?
We asked eight leading experts to help us assess the validity of this theory by looking at three key components: effectiveness, efficacy, and reliability.
They also assessed whether these benefits are actually applicable to individuals or only to groups or organizations. And finally, they evaluated whether the tools and exercises used to measure EI are reliable.
After reviewing all of their findings, we can say with moderate confidence that yes, developing your emotional skills is worthwhile. But you have to be careful which ones and how you implement them.
That is why we designed this article – to help you do just that! Here, you will find everything you need to know about what makes sense as an individual to develop your emotional skills, for the workplace and beyond.
Make it personal
As mentioned earlier, one of the biggest issues that can get in the way of people developing their EI is when they try to apply what others have said about emotional intelligence to yourself.
This is not only annoying because you feel like you are trying hard to be smart but also tricky as some theories purport that anyone could be trained to be emotionally intelligent.
So why should you care if you’re not able to relate to how other people behave? Because being aware of your own emotions and how they affect you and others around you is important for your overall well-being.
That goes beyond feeling good after a successful day at work or before bedtime – this applies to all times of the day, every day. By understanding your feelings and learning how to manage them, you will find that your daily life becomes more stable and productive.
Furthermore, research shows that people with higher levels of emotional intelligence are happier than those who do not. Having high emotional intelligence helps you deal better with everyday stressors and challenges, which further boosts your mood.
It may even help reduce mental health problems such as anxiety and depression. So instead of telling someone else how to improve their emotional skills, why not ask yourself these questions and see what you learn?
The best place to start would probably be self-awareness, since most theories emphasize this as a fundamental part of EQ.
Listen to your clients
As a professional emotional coach, you will need to be able to listen well. You will have to pay close attention to what people say about you and how they talk about you.
When someone mentions something that makes them feel bad or insecure, it is your job as their counselor to help them understand why they felt this way and what they can do to fix the situation.
By using the skills of EI, you will know what steps needed to be taken in order to resolve the problem. By demonstrating understanding and empathy, you will win over trust and respect from others.
Your colleagues and superiors will look up to you because they will believe you are willing to put in the effort to help others. Your subordinates will also perceive you as having greater leadership potential due to your ability to motivate and inspire others.
If you want to be viewed as a successful leader, then you must develop your EQ (emotional intelligence) strengths. There are many ways to improve your emotional literacy and relate to other people. Here are some tips for doing just that.
As mentioned earlier, one of your role as a coach is to provide guidance to others. This can be general life lessons, tips or tricks for improving certain skills, or even specific coaching strategies such as motivational speaking or goal setting.
Whatever you choose to teach, make sure it is relevant and applicable to their situation first. If something seems interesting, go into more detail by looking up what the person needs done next.
Your students will feel comfortable coming to you if they know that you are going to help them achieve their goals. Plus, they may learn something new from you as well!
General Life Lessons
If you have never coached anyone before then these lessons should be pretty straightforward. Some things like how to keep in shape, manage your money, or cook healthy recipes are universal concepts that apply to everyone.
Other topics are dependent on the individual; for example, some people need motivation to do a job while other people don’t. Sometimes, people get stuck in ruts so offering helpful advice in those areas is a good starting point.
If there are parts of someone’s career that they are having trouble with, whether personal or professional, then teaching them how to fix that problem is a worthy goal.
For example, if their colleagues find them hard to work with then maybe teaching them about why this is a bad idea and possible solutions would be appropriate.
Being an emotional intelligence coach is not easy, which is why there are no professional credentials that require you to be certified as an EI trainer. You do need to have regular conversations with people about their emotions though, so being able to work consistently across situations and individuals is important.
Being an effective coach also requires putting in time into your practice, so it’s worth investing some of this time upfront before people see results. This means meeting for one or two sessions first, then extending until you get more responses than ‘why aren’t I crying right now?”
Once you have built up these initial relationships, you can move onto the next stage where you can help others develop their emotional literacy. Only once they feel comfortable talking about themselves and how they feel will they realize their potential as leaders and professionals.
Develop a personal relationship with your clients
As a professional emotional intelligence (EI) coach, you will need to establish a strong connection with your client to ensure success. You can’t effectively help someone if you don’t trust them or believe in their potential, so being self-aware and aware of other people’s emotions is essential.
By using appropriate tools such as The EI Toolkit or another one that works for you, you can assess your own level of empathy, identify when others are emotionally intelligent or not, and learn how to apply this knowledge in various settings.
Your job as a coach isn’t just to teach your client how to be more likeable, it’s to help them achieve their goals and feel good about themselves. This may mean helping them deal with difficult situations, understanding what makes them unhappy, and finding ways to change or avoid these things.
Even if someone doesn’t seem like they are doing well, you can still be supportive. Believe in their ability to fix things and work through issues with them.
Don’t get distracted by the negative behaviors or comments that people make around you. Keep your focus on helping them learn how to manage their emotions and personal relationships.
By being aware of your own emotional regulation skills, you will help them pick up on this lesson.
Optimism is one of the biggest keys to success in life. People who have optimism tend to enjoy their lives more than those who don’t.
It makes them happier and helps them perform better at work and home.
People who have low levels of emotional intelligence often suffer from mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression. These conditions can sometimes go away when they feel relaxed and happy, so trying to boost their level of EI could see long-term benefits for them.
Consistency is one of the most important qualities as an emotional intelligence coach. This means showing up at the same time every day, keeping meetings scheduled, and being present for your conversations with others.
As mentioned before, emotional literacy or EQ comes more naturally to some people than others. This can be difficult if you are trying to work with someone who does not seem to understand their emotions.
It is also hard to teach someone else’s emotion system. Therefore, it is essential that you show consistency in practicing your own EQ skills. When you do this, you will see changes in how you manage your own emotions and relationships around you.
Your colleagues and superiors will notice the difference in how you respond to them. And you will feel happier and more relaxed yourself.
As mentioned before, one of the first things that can be difficult when you are trying to help someone is being honest with them. If you are not feeling good about yourself or your actions, then how can you expect anyone else to feel better?
If you have trouble believing in your own self-worth, it can be hard to motivate yourself to put effort into helping others achieve their goals. You will need to work through those feelings and habits aside from doing good deeds for other people.
This may mean looking at yourself harshly and asking why you cannot seem to find motivation to improve yourself. It could also mean seeking out more understanding as to what makes you feel less worthy than other people.
Being able to recognize and understand your emotional weaknesses and limiting beliefs helps you to break down these barriers to improvement. Once you do, you can begin to develop new strengths and behaviors that are healthier.