How To Be Emotionally Intelligent
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Over the past few years, emotional intelligence (“EI”) has become one of the most popular leadership theories in academia and business. It looks at how well you control your emotions and how these changes influence the way you interact with others.
Some believe that it is an essential part of leading anyone else, while other studies suggest that having high EI can make someone more likely to get into trouble because people may trust you more easily.
Whatever theory of EI you choose to believe in, there are several things all experts agree on. First, we all have different levels of EI depending on what situations we find ourselves in and what behaviors we use when interacting with others.
Second, improving our own EI is not as simple as just trying to learn some skills or courses that focus only on this topic. This article will go into more detail about why this idea is flawed and some easy ways to improve yours.
Third, being aware of your own feelings and those of others is a key component to having higher EI. The more you know what makes someone else feel bad or good, the better able they will be to regulate their own moods and behavior.
This article will talk about some strategies for becoming more emotionally intelligent.
Make eye contact
A recent study suggests that making direct, meaningful eye contact with someone is one of the key components in developing emotional intelligence. The researchers conducted an experiment with twenty undergraduate students who were asked to talk about a topic they knew well- like politics or math- for two minutes. Some participants received a call while talking about their topic at which time the researcher broke direct eye contact before establishing conversation. The other group was allowed to maintain eye contact until the interviewer made his or her call.
The researchers then had both groups discuss how to best increase motivation in those listening to them. They found that those who didn’t recover from the loss of engagement spent more time thinking about why people wouldn’t want to be motivated than those who did. In fact, some participants even mentioned negative things such as “they don’t care enough about what they are doing” or “it seems like they don’t love themselves so much”.
While these comments may seem unrelated to improving your own emotional literacy, I think you would agree they have something to do with self-respect and confidence. When we lose sight of this, it can affect how others perceive us.
A lot of people get emotional strength by thinking that if they can just feel more powerful or strong, then everything will be okay. This is not working for you nor others around you!
If you want to improve your emotional intelligence, you have to understand that it is not about being stronger than someone else, but instead understanding how other people are feeling and what is going on in their lives.
This may mean learning how to read non-verbal cues such as tone of voice, body language, and looking into the eyes of another person. It also means knowing when to take action and when to let things run its course.
You cannot control what happens outside yourself, but you can choose how you respond to these events. By using reasoning and knowledge to identify the source of this response, you can learn how to manage it.
Share your feelings
One of the biggest keys to being emotional intelligent is learning how to share your emotions with others.
You would not believe some of the secrets people keep in their lives!
Many people go through life without ever telling anyone what they are feeling inside. This is very unhealthy as a person. Your internal state of mind can have an incredible influence over the people around you.
By knowing what you're thinking, someone else could gain important information about you. For example, if someone knows that you feel insecure or depressed, they might try to help you feel better by pointing out all of the things that you've done well.
On the other hand, if someone notices that you seem happy, they might try to make you even happier by telling you something funny that happened. Both of these strategies could work wonders for you.
Sharing your true thoughts and feelings will also help them stay connected to you. They may be able to look beyond just your surface behavior to get a clearer picture of who you really are.
There is a time and place for keeping certain things private, but emotional intelligence requires you to let go sometimes. Don't worry too much about whether you'll show your weaknesses, because it takes years to develop this ability.
Instead focus on sharing small bits of yourself here and there so that your friends and family can see some part of you that you don’t advertise every day.
Understand your emotions
One of the most important things that can help you manage your emotional health is understanding your feelings.
It sounds simple, but it’s very difficult for some people. A lot of times, we avoid talking about our feelings because we don’t want to show how much they matter or feel bad about something.
However, by taking time to talk about what you are feeling, you open up an opportunity to work through your problems.
By doing this, you will learn more about yourself and why you feel the way you do. This can also help you in other areas of your life, such as relationships.
You may be able to find someone else who has done similar things and learned from past experiences. By speaking with them, you could both figure out ways to fix the problem and move forward together!
Emotions play a big part in overall mental well-being. When you are aware of yours and understand their source, you can use them productively instead of being distracted by them.
Be honest with your peers
As mentioned earlier, one of the major components of emotional intelligence is being able to identify what you are feeling and be honest about it. This could be something as simple as telling someone they made you feel bad by saying hurtful things or something more serious like wanting to kill them because they ruined your life.
By being aware of your feelings, you will know how to deal with them effectively. You will also be able to see when someone else is not in a good state so you can try to help them work through their issues.
Another way to look at this is that if you cannot control your own emotions then you do not belong anywhere. You will not enjoy yourself or anyone around you which does not set a great example for others.
Listen to others closely
In order to be able to relate to other people, you have to know how they feel. If you want to learn how someone is feeling, listen to them!
By listening carefully to what individuals say, you will gain an understanding of their emotions. You can then use your own feelings to compare with theirs, and work from there.
It’s also important to remember that not everyone says everything – some things may even be hidden for fear of hurting someone else.
When we are aware of this, it helps us understand people more. It also gives us space to breathe and think about our own reactions before responding.
This article has given you many ways to hone your emotional intelligence.
Don’t be egotistical
Most people have a hard time being emotional because they are always thinking about themselves. They feel that by putting too much attention into how well they are doing, how great their life is, etc., then someone else must think less of them if they get upset or show feelings.
As human beings, we need other people to admire us and believe in us at some level. We can’t fully develop our self-confidence unless others do.
So, when you find yourself on an emotional roller coaster, try not to take it personally. If a coworker says something mean to you, chances are he/she will say the same thing again tomorrow, and probably the day after that.
Don’t assume that there’s something wrong with him/her. There isn’t! He/She just didn’t like what you said this week so he/ she decided to bring up your low EI today.
A key part of emotional intelligence is being able to control your own emotions. This can be difficult at times, but there are ways to do it. One way is to be conscious of how you perceive things and what effect those perceptions have on you.
Think about some situation that has left you feeling down or hurt someone else’s feelings. Now, ask yourself why you felt the way you did. Was it because they said something that made you feel bad? Or was it because they were very honest with you?
If you think their honesty hurt your feelings, then try not to take it seriously. If you find it hard to bear their truth, tell them so! They will probably understand if you explain why you needed time to process what they said.
Remember, though, don’t make an excuse for their comment by saying something like ‘I didn’t like his tone of voice.’ That would show lack of empathy.
Be careful about putting people in categories – whether young/old, male/female, white/non-white. Never assume anything about anyone just because of their race, age or sex.
That’s called stereotyping which is never okay. It sets up mental barriers between individuals and groups who may not even know each other well, making it harder to see who really likes, trusts and gets along with whom.