How To Deal With A Boss With No Emotional Intelligence

Over the past few months, your boss has been putting you under a lot of pressure, he/she is not giving you enough credit for all of your hard work, and they are showing very little compassion when things go wrong.

He/She can be very rude towards you, ignore you completely or make it clear that you are no longer needed. All of these behaviors prove one thing: Your employer does not think that you are good at your job.

You have probably noticed this before, but now it’s coming out in the open – and it feels like the end! Before, you might have felt bad about yourself, but now there is someone else who feels the same way. That makes you feel better.

If you need time off, ask if you can! If you find something done poorly, tell them how to do it correctly. These comments will likely come with a lecture though, so be prepared.

Does anyone really enjoy being yelled at by their leader? Probably not, which is why most people handle such situations much worse than they should.

Avoid getting into an argument, instead focus on what needs to be done. Sometimes, just walking away is the best solution.

Look at your reactions closely

how to deal with a boss with no emotional intelligence

It is very important to be aware of how you are responding to what they say or do, and if anything seems out of place, check it against past experiences.

If something makes you feel uncomfortable, take some time to reflect on why that reaction is there and try to work out what you can change about the situation to make yourself feel better.

It could be because they said or did something that made you feel bad in the past, so you automatically assume things will stay that way this time around.

It could be because they said or did something that hurt you or offended you, and you don’t want them to think that you won’t get upset when they say or do similar things to you.

It could be because they didn’t speak to you for an hour after you asked them a question, which left you feeling ignored and not cared for. You may decide that their lack of empathy is reason enough to look for new employment.

We all have different levels of emotional intelligence (or EQ as many people call it), and someone who has low EQ may not be able to read other people’s emotions easily. They may also fail to recognize their own feelings.

How well you deal with stress depends upon both your natural level of EQ and your understanding of why you’re stressed.

Practice having difficult conversations

how to deal with a boss with no emotional intelligence

Even if you’re never called upon to have an actual conversation with someone about their lack of emotional intelligence, it is still important to be able to have them.

Conversations about things like goals, priorities, responsibilities, and commitments are just like anything else – they can get really tough at times.

And when something significant is on the line, emotions often run high.

That's why being able to talk about these things in advance and under controlled conditions is so valuable. By practicing, you'll be more prepared for the real thing when you need to deal with it.

It works similarly to how athletes practice before a big game or how soldiers train for war. In both cases, there's no point in actually doing the activity until you've done enough repetitions in training.

Having difficult conversations is similar. You won't learn what to do unless you're asked to do so, but by preparing yourself ahead of time, you'll be much better equipped for the challenge.

Listen to them closely

how to deal with a boss with no emotional intelligence

Even if you’re not sure what they are talking about, listen as hard as you can and try to understand their tone, how they speak, and what is being said.

This will tell you a lot about who they are and what goes into their life. If you notice that they seem angry most of the time, it may be because they get stressed out a lot or something in their personal life is going wrong.

They may feel guilty for some reason so they make up an excuse to explain why they were sometimes irritable. Make no assumptions unless you have more information!

By listening carefully, you’ll also learn when things go well for them and this can help you promote them or even ask them about those times.

It’s always great to know where your weaknesses lie and how to fix them, but don’t worry about that until you’ve tried everything else first.

Make sure it is not about their job performance

how to deal with a boss with no emotional intelligence

Sometimes, instead of recognizing another person’s hard work, effort, and dedication, people get focused on what they can take away from the workplace.

This is usually when things start to go wrong.

If you are in a situation where your boss does not show any emotions, then make changes that do not have to do with the position he or she holds.

Find ways to help them be happier at work by offering tips and tricks for improving working conditions, finding new jobs, etc.

But remember, as difficult as this may be, try to focus more on helping him or her become more emotionally intelligent than trying to change who he or she is as a person.

Try to be positive

how to deal with a boss with no emotional intelligence

Sometimes, even when your boss is making you feel bad about yourself or your job, there are things you can do to try to remain positive.

It’s important to remember that no one is totally without fault, including your bosses. If someone was not doing their job, then it is your responsibility to go above and beyond to make sure they get the needed help done properly.

Likewise, if your superiors are not giving enough praise, it may be because they have not been informed of all of your achievements. Make sure to keep sharing what you were successful in achieving so that they will start praising you for it.

In addition to this, remember that people close to your boss may also know something about him or her that you do not. Even though he or she may seem like they are not having a good day, there could be another reason why they appear down.

If you are able to determine that there is nothing you can do to change the situation, then you should look into the reasons behind the drop in mood.

Look for the good in them

how to deal with a boss with no emotional intelligence

Even if you find a lot of things about your boss annoying, try not to take it too seriously.

A lot of times, people with low EI are so focused on themselves that they fail to realize how much their actions affect those around them.

They may underestimate the importance of what they do to others’ moods and emotions. This is especially true in the workplace, where relationships matter – even if they don’t outside of work.

If you can’t stand something your boss does, walk away from the conversation or event, but don’t assume that it’s because he or she doesn’t care.

It could be because they didn’t think you would react negatively to it, or because they wanted to see whether you would. If you have time after an interaction with your boss, then go talk to him or her, but bear in mind that sometimes things just aren’t worth the effort anymore.

Alternatively, ask one of his or her colleagues who might know more about why they said what they did.

Be consistent

how to deal with a boss with no emotional intelligence

Consistency is one of your greatest weapons when trying to gain someone’s trust or respect. When you are consistently good, people will notice and believe in you more often.

When things go bad, keep showing up every day as usual. This demonstrates that you do not plan to change anything about yourself and that you are supportive of them.

Doesn’t sound like much of a weapon does it? It is though, very powerful. People learn from others around them what they expect to see.

If everyone you meet is an asshole with no morals, then you can be sure that he/she is also an asshole with NO MORALS!

On the other hand, if everyone you meet is a nice person who doesn’t take any crap from anyone else, well… You get the idea.

By being consistent, you send a message to those around you. “I am a trustworthy person, so I would hope you would feel the same way about me.”

That’s a pretty strong statement for someone else to read. We all have days where we may come across as less than perfect, but there’s always another chance to prove ourselves.

Don’t let some poor performance knock you down because you never put in an effort before. Always remember that mistakes happen, and sometimes you just run out of luck.

Follow up after the conversation

how to deal with a boss with no emotional intelligence

After a meeting or discussion with your boss, take some time to reflect about what you discussed and how they responded to you. Was there anything in the conversation that gave you insight into their emotional state?

If so, were those insights positive or negative? If they are positive, then you can use this information to help them feel more confident in yourself as well as in themself.

For example, if their response was telling you something that made you angry, try to understand where that anger is coming from. Are they feeling guilty because of something they said before? Were you misinterpreted?

Give them both time to calm down and talk things out, but don’t make the assumption that everything will be okay!

It’s important to remember that no one is perfect – not even your superiors. We all have our bad days just like we all have times when we make mistakes.

Don’t assume that things will only get worse for your employer, though. Many professionals learn from their mistakes and grow from them.

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