Sometimes people get so focused on being very successful, achieving their goals, that they forget about what matters most in life. They lose sight of things such as friendships, family, and themselves. This is something that many professionals experience at some points in their lives.

It’s understandable if you’ve ever met someone who seems to have little or no emotional intelligence. You might even feel hurt, frustrated, or disgusted by them at times. At those moments it can be hard to figure out whether this person is going through a bad period or if they are actually kind of crazy.

However, there comes a time when all this should really matter less than it once did. That time is now! It’s when you need to consider yourself fully trained in social skills and psychology and able to deal with anyone.

This article will talk about some ways to help you achieve this. Even though these tips apply to everyone, they may seem particularly important for people with low EI.

Look at their face when they are talking to you

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A lot of people have a hard time understanding emotional intelligence (EI) because it is something that many don’t use in everyday life.

When someone else isn’t behaving like we would want them to, there's a tendency to assume that their behavior comes from lack of knowledge or poor skills rather than an inability to recognize and manage emotions.

This can make us feel very uncomfortable, even hurt sometimes. We might get upset with them, which only makes things worse.

It is important to be able to identify if what other people are doing goes beyond just having a bad day, but if they cannot control their own emotions then this may be a sign that they do not have much self-control themselves.

Pay attention to what they say

Does your friend or family member spend most of their time talking about you, their personal life, or not at all? If so, it’s probably because they are trying hard to figure out how much emotional intelligence you have.

If they think you don’t understand something, they will try to teach you by repeating it over and over. It may be something like, “You never listen to me when I talk!” or, “Why can’t you just let things go? You take too long to make decisions.”

These are pretty direct statements telling you that your emotional IQ is low. They are also indirect ways to tell you that you don’t know anything about them.

By listening to what they have to say, you would learn a lot about who this person is and why they do some of the things they do.

It could help you develop relationships with them, but only if you are able to put aside your own feelings for now.

Make eye contact

Making direct, meaningful connections with people is one of the most important things you can do in this world. It’s also something that many people are either totally clueless about or have no idea how to accomplish.

Eye contact is a powerful way to connect with other people. When someone else looks away from you, it can make you feel like you’re not worth paying attention to or talking to. On the contrary, when someone makes frequent eye contacts with you, it shows that they are interested in what you have to say and that you matter to them.

Making eye contact doesn’t necessarily mean looking at their eyes – instead look around their face, think about what they might be saying, and determine if they seem relaxed and happy.

If possible, try to use soft, natural light for better visibility of their faces.

Do not assume their behavior means they are not feeling what you are feeling

Sometimes, even when people try hard to show empathy for you, it is difficult to tell if they are putting on an act or if they really do feel something – like how you feel.

This can be tricky if they claim to feel nothing at all while at the same time showing some kind of emotion.

It may seem impossible to determine whether they are acting or actually feeling something, but there are ways to help identify true emotional intelligence.

Here are three things that can aid in revealing your friend’s hidden emotions.

Look for their emotional intelligence

It’s impossible to tell if someone has low emotional intelligence unless you know they have an episode, so look for these markers – when things get too hot or too cold, there are no longer appropriate signals being sent, and people around them can’t seem to pull together enough of a response.

In those moments, it’s hard to tell whether someone is actually feeling something or just acting like they do. If you try talking to them about what they were looking at or asking how their day was going, they either don’t reply or say something that doesn’t make sense.

You may also notice that they never show any signs of emotion except anger. When someone is angry, they can sometimes act in ways that hurt others, but only because they feel so strongly about something.

When we’re in touch with our emotions, we think before we speak, we are more likely to take time to consider other people’s points of view, and we’re less likely to assume bad intentions even when another person does something that seems wrong.

Be consistent

Consistency is one of the biggest keys to helping someone with low EI be able to understand their emotions. If you have done something that hurt their feelings, then they should expect more of the same in the future.

If you ask them why they are angry, they may say things like, “Because I don’t feel loved.” Or maybe they will tell you, “He never does anything for me.”

These aren’t very good explanations, but they really do come from a place of lack of emotional intelligence. It is hard to love someone if they show no signs of it.

When people try to push away what they think you want, by saying ‘no’ or ‘not now’ over and over again, it can make you feel bad. You might even start thinking that you are not lovable enough to care about these things.

This can go both ways – too much effort can backfire and make you feel worse. People who have low EE usually need more time to process new information and settings, so waiting for them to change can seem impossible.

Do not hold them responsible

Sometimes, people get really hurt or offended by something you said or done that they seem to take very personally. This is usually because they do not know who you are as a person and what your intentions are.

They may feel attacked or their trust in you has been broken, which can make them withdraw from you. They might even start thinking that you no longer like them or want to be around them.

This can easily turn into a vicious circle where both of you lose confidence in each other’s friendship.

It is important to remember that everyone feels emotions. Some people are more able to control these than others, but it is always okay to show how you feel. It does not mean anything if you cannot keep up this level of control sometimes.

If someone seems incapable of controlling their emotions then try to understand why this is happening before trying to fix it.

Do not assume it is something malicious unless you have serious proof. People often suffer from emotional health issues such as depression or anxiety, for example.

A lot of times, people find it hard to enjoy simple things due to underlying psychological problems. All of this could contribute to them feeling unhappy and frustrated.

Ask for what you want

“I’m not talking about asking for a pay rise here, but ask yourself this – when was the last time someone gave you a compliment?” he asks.

“When was the last time you received praise for your work? When was the last time you were thanked for your efforts?”

If you are in a workplace where these things happen more frequently, then it may be that they have no idea how to motivate you. It can feel like a constant battle to inspire them.

So try giving people credit for their efforts. Acknowledging achievements is an excellent way to boost their self-esteem. They will sense a reward in doing well and thus might strive to do better.

Ask yourself if there has been a change in the person since you worked with them before. If so, note what qualities you noticed then and compare those to now.

You could also look at their social media profile to see if anything seems different or if they have changed their appearance. These little clues can give you some insight into whether they are in a good place mentally or not.

Start by asking yourself why you do certain things. Are you trying to teach them something about you, or are you just acting from fear or anger? Then choose to act from motivation instead.

This will help you keep your emotions under control in the long run.