How To Deal With Someone With No Emotional Intelligence
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Emotions are a powerful tool for life, but they can also be quite tricky.
It is important to recognize that not everyone feels and processes emotions the same way as other people do. This is called emotional intelligence (or EQ). Some people are more sensitive to emotion than others.
Some people feel strong emotions very quickly while other people take longer to process them. There is no right or wrong way to process your own emotions, but it is helpful to understand how different people process feelings.
This article will talk about some ways to help you cope with someone who has low levels of emotional intelligence. It may be difficult at times, but don’t give up!
Don’t worry, this person won’t suddenly wake one day and have all of their emotional skills return. But, you can still show them love by being kind and understanding, listening, and working on their emotional literacy.
Give them space and try not to get too attached, but if you notice changes in their behavior or moods, pay attention.
Make eye contact
Making direct, meaningful eye contact is one of the most powerful nonverbal signals you can use in communication. When we look directly at someone, we show them that they are important to us and vice versa.
Making direct, meaningful eye contact is one of the most powerful nonverbal signs you can use in communication. When we look directly at someone, we show them that they are important to us and vice versa. This has everything to do with what type of emotional intelligence people have.
People who lack emotional intelligence cannot read other’s emotions. It is like being able to watch TV without having knowledge of television programming. You will still be able to recognize some things happening on screen, but nothing more than that.
It does not mean that there is something wrong with you as a person, it just means that you are ignorant about certain things. In this case, that thing is emotion.
Emotion comes from within yourself. If you were given a gift, you would feel happy for them. Or if you lost a loved one, you would feel grief. These are examples of how your internal self-processed emotions.
So, when another person feels an emotion, you could tell whether or not they did enough work in processing that emotion by looking at their facial expressions and body language.
If they look happier than before while talking to you, then they probably worked through their sadness well.
It’s important to note that emotional intelligence isn’t an all or nothing thing. Just because someone doesn’t seem like they have it at the moment doesn’t mean they don’t, you just may need to look more closely to determine if they do.
It is possible to develop your emotional intelligence even when you think you can’t. Like with any other skill, practice makes perfect.
So, start by being intentionally kind and thoughtful. Do things like leave messages and texts for others, say nice things to their face, let them know she’ll be missed, etc.
Avoid engaging in conversations unless you are prepared to talk about something meaningful, but stay focused on what matters most- her well-being.
If you feel overwhelmed, take a break! Take a few minutes away from whatever you were doing to focus on yourself and how you're feeling. You deserve this time for your own mental health.
She also needs to learn how to manage her stress so she will eventually get better at it. Stress takes a lot of work to reduce sometimes, which is why experiencing some level of toxicity in her life is okay for a little while.
This article has discussed several ways that can help you identify whether someone has low emotional intelligence and tips on how to improve yours.
Speak more slowly and deliberately
When someone is having an outburst, take a moment to stop what you are doing and listen. Try to understand where they are coming from before responding or arguing.
This could be difficult as their tone and words may seem very strong but there can be many reasons why they are feeling this way.
They might feel hurt or rejected, for example, by something you said or done. They might need time to process what happened so they do not immediately respond in the same way.
If it helps, try to think about how you would like things to be in this situation and if these people were likeable then chances are you would want to be friends with them!
Hopefully one day they will find emotional intelligence and learn how to control their emotions. At that point, your response will be helpful instead of causing more problems.
Provide more detail
Sometimes, it can feel like there’s not much you can do when someone is acting irrationally or they are in an emotionally volatile situation.
This can be very frustrating as a bystander, especially if you wanted to help them but couldn’t.
It's important to remember that people process information and grow emotions at different speeds, which makes it difficult for others to relate to how they're feeling.
People with low EQ don't seem to understand what emotional cues mean to other people so they may use these signs as proof of their wrong-doing. This only adds to the tension and hurt already present.
If you find yourself in such a situation, try giving them longer and/or repeated explanations about why your words or actions were appropriate.
Give them time to process the information and work through their feelings before moving forward. Hopefully, this will allow them to come to terms with what happened and reduce the stress caused by the argument.
Above all, remain calm and rational! Avoid getting drawn into any arguments, let things roll off of your shoulders instead.
Ask more questions
It is very important to ask lots of questions when interacting with someone who has EI zero. You can do this at any time, even if they have just come off something like that terrible party where there was no one else but them and their drink.
Ask about how they spent their day, what they did, whom they talked to, if anything made them feel bad or good, etc. This gives you some insights into whether they have stable relationships or not, which could be a clue as to why they may need help in feeling better about themselves.
It also helps you understand them better!
If you are able to see beyond their low self-esteem, you will know whether or not you want to invest your energy in them. People with little empathy are sometimes too needy for others.
Don’t be a mindreader
Being able to read someone’s emotions is a very important quality in human beings. It helps you understand what they want, how they are feeling, and if they are lying to you.
But it takes a lot of practice and training to learn how to do this effectively. Therefore, unless you really need to know what someone is thinking or trying to get from you, don’t try to guess their feelings.
It will only hurt you (and them)!
Instead, ask them directly about their thoughts and feelings. Ask open-ended questions so they can talk freely without worrying about being judged or put on defense.
And remember that your subconscious mental processes influence your behavior and mood, so keep looking for signs of emotional health such as self-confidence, optimism, happiness, and motivation.
If these things are not present, then something may be wrong and you should pay attention to that. But first, must deal with no emotional intelligence.
Look for their body language
One of the things that can hurt your relationship is when you realize that someone you love doesn’t have strong emotional intelligence.
A lot of people think that because they don’t understand humor or compassion that they aren’t really smart. But it goes much deeper than that!
Emotions are what make us who we are. They help us connect with other people, create relationships, and defend ourselves from threats in our lives.
If someone isn’t showing any emotions then it shows that they don’t feel very strongly about most anything. This could be due to lack of experiences, knowledge, or perception of situations.
It could also indicate that they don’t care about certain things very much which is a big turnoff. Either way, it won’t do anyone any good to be around this person if they aren’t able to show emotion.
Your best bet is to try to determine why these “lackluster” emotions are coming up for them. It might be something familiar like a friend they lost touch with, or something less obvious like how they were paid for today.
When you get those signals, you need to talk about it. Make an effort to identify the source of these feelings and see what you can do to address it.
Ask for feedback
It’s important to ask people about their work habits, time management strategies, how they handle relationships, if they are able to show emotions, and whether they are able to listen to others.
If you’re having trouble getting through with someone, take some time to really get into the nooks and crannies of their personality.
Does anyone else feel like there is no connection when you hang out? Is it possible that this person is not very good at showing emotion?
By being aware of these things, you will be better prepared to improve your relationship with them or even find something new to connect with them about.