People with high emotional intelligence are aware of their emotions, and use those feelings to motivate themselves and others. They’re also able to recognize their own levels of happiness and sadness, as well as other people’s. This ability to identify and understand your emotions is what helps you regulate yours.

It’s important to note that while everyone has some degree of emotional intelligence, not every person uses their skills effectively. That may be because they don’t know how to relate to someone else’s emotions or because they’re too focused on avoiding their own emotions rather than understanding them.

While it’s great to have lots of tricks up our sleeves when we feel angry or hurt, if we never let ourselves feel these things then we lose touch with our inner resources. We stop developing our strengths — mental and psychological ones like empathy, self-confidence, and motivation.

This isn’t just a short term problem, it can carry over into future relationships and career opportunities. In fact, research suggests that having low EQ early in life may make it harder to achieve success later in life.

Emotional intelligence is a skill that can be learned, and there are several strategies for improving yours. This article will go more in depth about some ways to develop your emotional literacy.

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Skills of emotional intelligence

One of the most important skills that help you manage your emotions is called empathy. Just like with any other skill, practicing empathetic thinking can have profound effects on your life.

This is the ability to identify what emotion someone else is experiencing and then use those feelings to understand who they are as a person.

For example, if someone just said something really hurtful to you, it’s easy to get mad and take offense. But, if you could see their side of things and how much they cared about you, maybe you wouldn’t be so quick to judge them.

You would instead feel sorry for them because they probably didn’t mean to say what they did. They may even regret saying it now.

So, being able to recognize and respect the feelings of others is one way to try and improve your own emotional health and wellness.

Factors of emotional intelligence

There are several factors that make up what is typically referred to as “emotional quotient,” or EQ. Some researchers suggest that these components work in tandem to facilitate socialization and effective functioning within groups and relationships.

Many theories about why someone might be considered emotionally intelligent focus more on how they regulate their emotions than whether they have certain specific feelings. For example, research suggests that people who are able to recognize and describe their own emotions are more likely to understand other people’s emotions.

Furthermore, individuals with high levels of empathy are known to feel, show, and act on emotion similarly to others. Many believe this quality makes them good listeners and collaborators because they can relate to the thoughts and feelings of others.

However, while most theories emphasize the importance of understanding and describing one’s own emotions, some argue that it is knowing how to use your emotions effectively — rather than just being aware of them — that matters most.

Research indicates that people who use emotion regulation strategies (like thinking through reasons for making decisions instead of simply relying on instinct) tend to do better professionally and personally. These individuals may also achieve higher income, greater satisfaction in life, and lower stress.

Given all this, there are several tools you can employ to develop your emotional skills. In fact, you can improve your overall emotional competence by focusing on only one factor at a time.

Definition and importance of self-awareness

A key part of emotional intelligence is your ability to recognize your own emotions. This seems simple, but it’s a very important concept.

Most people have a hard time identifying their own feelings. It's like they're wearing blinders when it comes to sensing how they feel about things.

They might acknowledge that something makes them angry or frustrated, for example, but then they don't understand why they're becoming irritated with someone else. Or maybe they realize they're feeling hurt, but they can’t seem to pinpoint what caused them to get that way.

Self-aware individuals are aware of their internal state and know how to relate to other people due to this understanding.

Definition of self-control

One of the main pillars of emotional intelligence is called self-control. This term comes from Aristotle, the ancient Greek philosopher who coined the word “virtue”. According to Aristotle, control or mastery over oneself means having enough moral strength to resist improper desires and impulses.

Self-control can be categorized into two different types: internalized self-control and externalized self-control. Internalized self-control refers to keeping yourself motivated to do your job even when you don’t feel like it. It includes things such as showing up for work every day, putting in the effort at home even if you don’t feel like it, and being honest with yourself about what you know you should do and what you want to do.

Externalized self-control involves taking actions that are good for your long-term health outside of work. For example, going to the gym after work, eating fruits and vegetables, skipping sugar and alcohol, and giving away most of your belongings show how much self-control you have because you made these changes outside of work. These activities improve your overall health and wellness, which makes them worth their weight in gold!

You will not achieve true emotional intelligence unless you develop both internalized and externalized self-control. Having some degree of each is important so that you do not rely too heavily on one set of skills.

Definition of interpersonal skills

One of the biggest misconceptions about emotional intelligence is that it only includes being able to recognize emotions in others and reading someone’s body language. While these are important parts of having emotional intelligence, there is something much more fundamental than that.

Interpersonal or relationship skills refer to our ability to communicate and understand other people. You don’t have to be very good at recognizing emotions to know how to motivate someone, or to understand why they may feel emotionally hurt.

You can also learn how to resolve conflicts effectively by understanding what made one person try to put off negotiations before. By taking time to think about the reasons behind their actions, you will realize that most times people just want to go home after a hard day so they don’t have to deal with things they cannot control.

This article will talk more about some ways to develop your relationships and emotional literacy.

Definition of motivation

A person is motivated when they show an eagerness to pursue something or someone. They are conscious of the incentive that motivates them to work towards their goal.

Someone who is not very motivated will likely stop working even if there is no significant reward for it. This will influence their life negatively as they give up on important things because they do not feel incentivized to put in the effort.

People with high emotional intelligence can control their emotions, which helps them be more motivated. They understand how to use their feelings to motivate themselves so they don’t have to look outside of themselves for inspiration.

It is also important to recognize your own strengths and use these to inspire yourself. For example, you may know that you like to take risks so you could try taking bigger chances with things that matter to you.

You could also develop self-confidence by showing courage in areas that make you feel less confident.

Definition of empathy

A defining feature of emotional intelligence is empathic or understanding emotions. This is not limited to other people, but also includes animals and inanimate objects.

This concept applies when you realize that someone else may feel hurt or distressed for no reason. For example, if you try on an expensive coat and notice that your friend looks slightly disturbed, it’s best to put the coat away until she says you can have it.

It’s like she has determined that it isn’t good enough for her and thus, lost interest. You now know what she thinks about the coat!

With regards to humans, this aspect of EQ comes more easily as most adults have learned how to suppress their own feelings to some extent. We are sometimes able to recognize those who cannot contain theirs and such individuals need help figuring out why they are feeling a certain way.

Emotions connect us as human beings and without them, we would be completely detached from each other. They also motivate us to act and perform our jobs well.

Definition of resilience

Resilience is your ability to withstand or overcome stress, have good moods and enjoy life in difficult times. It helps you get back into place when things are not going well and you need to make changes or take breaks.

Resilient people show these qualities at different levels — they are motivated by what’s important to them, they don’t give up easily and they work with others instead of being influenced by them.

You can learn some basic skills that help you be more resilient.