How To Demonstrate Emotional Intelligence
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People who have high emotional intelligence are known as empaths or intuitive people. They are also referred to as “people watchers” because they perceive emotions in others and can tell when someone is experiencing something.
This article will talk about some ways you can demonstrate your own level of emotional intelligence. You do not need to be an expert, but it would help if you were at least average in this area.
You want to make sure that you understand your own feelings before trying to relate to other people’s. It is very difficult to predict how another person may feel, so why put yourself through the stress by assuming what their feeling must be?
Also, keep in mind that most people use silence as a way to suppress their emotions. If you don’t know what someone was thinking or saying earlier, then chances are that they were probably just quiet.
Emotions take up a lot of energy, which is one of the reasons individuals with low EQ sometimes seem like they are sleeping during important conversations.
If you try to learn more about emotion, there are many different theories and models you can choose from. Some say cognitive theory is the main factor in determining whether someone has good emotional control, while others believe it is behavioral.
No matter what theory you select, simply understanding the effects of emotions is a start towards having higher EQ.
Make eye contact
A recent study revealed that making direct, meaningful eye contact with someone is one of the most powerful ways to develop emotional intelligence. The researchers conducted several studies to test this theory. In each study, they gathered a group of people and had some participants make eye contact with another person for two minutes while the rest of the group was asked to do something unrelated. Then, the researchers measured how connected these individuals were before the eye contact session and again after the session using validated tools.
The researchers found that when you can look into someone’s eyes, you connect more quickly and effectively with them than if you don’t. Not only does it help create intimacy, but also trust. It also helps motivate others to work harder because they feel seen and understood.
Making eye contact isn’t just about showing interest in other people, it’s also an effective way to focus attention and get things done. When we lack emotional intelligence, we may not recognize what emotions other people are feeling and therefore cannot evaluate whether those feelings are positive or negative.
But if you can identify and understand your own emotions then you will be able to relate to other people more easily. You will also know how to ask questions and listen to answers so you can learn more about yourself and the world around you.
Be honest with your peers
As mentioned before, being able to recognize and understand emotions is one of the most important skills you can have as someone living their life. Being aware of what other people are feeling makes it possible for you to predict how they will respond in certain situations, which helps you plan ahead.
By this point, I hope you’ve noticed that we’re talking not about having good feelings or bad feelings, but about understanding others’ feelings. This is why there is a difference between emotional intelligence and empathy—the first refers to identifying emotions, while the second focuses more on relating to those emotions.
I recommend trying to demonstrate emotional intelligence by looking outside of work and school for a few minutes each day. You could go to a movie, take a walk, whatever you would like to do. But make sure you are doing something that requires no special equipment (no need to bring headphones or a device) and that there is nothing else going on so that you can focus completely on yourself for a couple of minutes.
Listen to others closely
A lot of people have a tendency to talk more than they listen. They are so focused on what they want to say next that they forget how important it is to really hear what other people have to say.
As a leader, you will need to pay attention in order to succeed. You will have to learn how to listen to get through the most difficult times, because not only can listening help you understand someone’s situation or perspective, but also their emotions.
Team members will feel comfortable coming to you with their thoughts and feelings, which helps promote trust. Moreover, by showing an interest in what others have to say, you demonstrate your emotional intelligence.
Research has shown that individuals who show greater empathy tend to enjoy higher levels of success. Therefore, if you hope to climb the ladder at work, you must develop your ability to read and identify emotion in others.
It may even make a difference when trying to find a job! While employers don’t usually expect degree holders in computer science, for example, they might be looking for signals about whether you have got rid of all traces of empathetic feeling for the competition.
Don’t necessarily agree with those sentiments, of course, but at least you know there’s something lurking beneath the surface.
Do not be egotistical
Most people are not emotionally intelligent, which is why there’s a problem with emotional illiteracy in this country. We don’t know how to read other people's emotions, and we lack basic empathy skills.
We're also not very good at identifying our own feelings and they influence us more than we realize. For example, when you find out someone else feels badly about something, your first instinct may not be to try and make them feel better, but rather like them because you assume they must feel that way due to what happened.
This kind of thinking isn't helpful and can actually hurt relationships.
Emotionally intelligent individuals recognize and understand their own emotions and those of others. They use these insights to improve their relationship with themselves and others.
Understand your peers' feelings
As mentioned earlier, being able to identify what emotions other people are feeling and why is an important part of emotional intelligence. You can do this by paying close attention to how they interact with others, what things mean to them, if they seem stressed or relaxed, and so on.
It’s also worth noting that we all have our own internal experiences of emotion, which may be different from theirs. For example, someone who has just been complimented will probably feel happy for a little while, but then their inner voice might say something like “I should have done more to get that praise” or “Why did I work so hard? People don’t appreciate me!”
Another way to show understanding of other people’s emotions is by showing empathy. This means taking time to consider both what you think they would want as well as how they could possibly feel about a situation.
Do not be superficial
I mentioned before that emotional intelligence is related to your personality, but there are some things that are important to understand about EI that make it different from just having a high or low level of empathy.
One such difference is whether you are being systematic in how you use emotion for life, work, and play – what we call applying emotional skills.
For example, someone with strong emotional control may use their emotions at work to motivate themselves and inspire others. But if they need inspiration, these individuals might look outside of the office to find it.
They could be motivated by something spectacular like watching a sports event or movie, reading a book, or listening to music. They would take time to reflect on the reasons why this thing inspired them and then apply those lessons to help them achieve their goal.
Alternatively, people who are very emotionally reactive may encounter many barriers when trying to apply emotional skills because they cannot contain their own feelings.
If you try to talk yourself into believing that an argument will hurt your friend’s feelers, for instance, you probably won’t succeed. You may even come away feeling worse than you did before because you exposed one of their secrets or ruined part of their day.
So, which version of emotional intelligence are you more likely to have? It really comes down to personal preference.
Some people prefer using emotion as a tool while others can’t seem to master the art of regulating theirs.
It is important to believe in yourself, but also be able to recognize when it’s time to switch off that belief and be more pessimistic.
You need to feel that things can always get worse before they get better, but they will eventually.
By having this ability to acknowledge that something isn’t going your way doesn’t mean that you don’t try anymore or give up, it means that you are aware of the situation and have worked out how to deal with it.
It helps you take control by understanding where the problem lies.
If there’s someone around you who seems consistently positive even when things are not going their way, make sure to compliment them for their attitude, but at the same time pay attention to whether what they say makes sense and is consistent with the facts.
Being friendly is one of the first things people notice about you, and it can make a big difference in how others perceive you. When someone notices that you are friendlier than them, it makes them like you more.
Friendliness comes from within. It’s not something external you supply to other people, but rather your own personal style.
So try being more aware of how much friendliness you have and if there’s anything you could do to improve it.
You may be surprised at how much effect this has.