How To Develop Emotional Intelligence
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Over the past decade, emotional intelligence (EI) has become one of the most popular leadership theories in business. It looks at how well you control your own emotions as an important factor in achieving success and improving the workplace environment.
Many companies now offer programs or courses that teach EI to their employees. Some even have specialties like empathy or motivation, which are considered key components of strong EI.
But is this theory really worth investing in? Is it something we should all be teaching ourselves and others? This article will talk about whether or not this is true by looking at some hard facts.
We’ll also look at what makes someone seem more emotionally intelligent than another person, and some things that can hurt your overall EQ. So let’s get started!
Disclaimer: The information in this article comes from an academic source and was published for educational purposes only. These articles do not constitute medical advice. You should always check with yourslef personal physician before making any changes to your health plan or lifestyle.
Emotional Quotient – What is it actually?
Before we dive into the benefits of developing your emotional intelligence, let us first define what exactly emotional intelligence is.
The term “emotional quotient” (or EQ) was coined back in 1989 when Daniel Goleman wrote his best seller book called “Psychological Testosterone: Why Men Are More Likely To Become Leaders”.
Link between emotional intelligence and job performance
Over the past few years, there has been an increasing emphasis in employment settings on what is being referred to as “emotional literacy or emotional skills.” These terms refer to the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your own emotions as well as others’.
Studies show that people who have higher levels of emotional intelligence are more likely to enjoy their jobs and colleagues, and they tend to perform better according to some criteria.
They may be paid more, receive praise and recognition for their work more often, and avoid negative comments and criticisms. In fact, one study found that employees who reported having high emotional intelligence earned almost 5% more than those who did not!
Furthermore, research indicates that both employers and coworkers perceive individuals with high emotional intelligence as more trustworthy, productive workers.
It also seems to play a role in determining how much power you hold in a group setting, such as a team. Team members view each other as allies rather than adversaries, which can help promote collaboration and communication.
Teach your kids
First, make sure you understand how emotional intelligence is defined. Then, learn some of the best practices for developing your child’s EI. These include practicing acceptance and forgiveness, understanding others’ points of view, respecting other people, and learning how to manage their emotions.
There are many theories about what makes someone have high EQ. One theory suggests that early experiences shape who we are as adults. For example, children who experience frequent loss and grief may develop more self-control than individuals who do not.
Other theories suggest that certain personality traits like patience or empathy are important predictors of higher EQ. Some believe it is possible to improve your own EQ through training and practice.
However, no matter which theory is true, all agree that being emotionally intelligent takes work. And trying to teach someone else how to be smart isn’t easy.
A major component of emotional intelligence is understanding yourself. This includes knowing your strengths and weaknesses, as well as being aware of how you feel about things.
It also means being conscious of your emotions – whether they are appropriate or not. When you recognize that you are feeling an emotion, it can help to change how you think of the situation, but more importantly what you do next.
For example, if you notice you are becoming angry, you should walk away and take a break before returning to whatever you were doing. Or you could talk through your feelings with someone else.
When you have identified the source of your anger, try to see the situation in perspective and work to avoid similar situations in the future.
Become a good listener
A lot of people think that being a good leader is only about giving orders to others and making big speeches, but leading is much more than that. Being a great leader means knowing how to listen, really listening, for a long time.
As human beings we tend to have our own ideas and beliefs about things, which are influenced by experiences and media.
If you’ve ever watched a leadership talk or listened to a podcast interview with Steve Jobs, you’ll know what I mean!
He would often begin his talks talking about something trivial, then veer off topic very quickly. That’s because he had made an important point earlier in the conversation and he wanted to make sure you were paying attention.
By bringing up unrelated topics, he was able to test if you were still awake and listening, and if you were, he would continue to speak about the related matter.
This way, he could be certain you hadn’t drifted away until he gave you chance to respond or react. – Leadership Books Listening To Make A Difference
Become a good listener will help you as a leader deal with any situation effectively and reduce stress. You will also learn more about other people which can help you in your career.
It’s not just about getting the information you want, it’s about understanding the context of the information you get.
A lot of people get bogged down in emotional intelligence because they believe it is about being able to control your emotions, which is definitely a part of it, but it goes beyond that.
EI actually refers to something called “self-awareness”. This means you have to be aware of yourself as a person before you can work on controlling how you feel and use those feelings to improve your life.
Self-awareness is also referred to as personal growth or internal awareness. It is having an understanding of who you are as a person and knowing what makes you tick so you can regulate your behavior and habits.
It sounds simple enough, right? But we spend a large amount of our lives with ourselves, so why not make the most out of this opportunity to learn more about ourselves!
There are several ways to develop self-awareness, such as by living alone for a few months and observing yourself during daily routines (for example, while eating breakfast). You could even ask someone close to you to help you achieve this goal.
A good way to begin developing self-awareness is to do some reading. There are many books available that talk about different strategies for achieving this goal. Some of these include looking at pictures of herself and her face and then asking herself questions she would normally ask of others.
The answers you get may surprise you, which is another way to build self-knowledge.
Set personal goals
It is very difficult to develop emotional intelligence if you do not have it in yourself already. If you are able to understand, identify and manage your own emotions then you will make progress towards developing your EQ.
Most people find that as they grow older their ability to show emotion fades slightly. This is due to habituation – repeated exposure causing your body to get used to certain stimuli and less strong reactions.
If however you remain in high levels of stress then your brain gets adapted and learns how to control your emotions so they stay under wraps. You can be smart about managing your emotions but if you don’t know what it feels like to feel them, you won’t work at changing them.
It is important to recognize your feelings before you contain or release them. Being aware allows you to take more responsibility for your emotions and helps you figure out why you are feeling a particular way and what you can do to fix it.
Do not hold your anger
It is very important to learn how to control your emotions. When you are angry, do not let yourself get carried away or even become physically aggressive.
Instead, take time to calm down and think about what made you feel angry in the first place before taking action. If something makes you feel bad, then try to avoid doing that thing, but if you must, go ahead with it while at the same time trying to suppress your feelings.
Practice self-awareness by asking yourself why you were upset in the first place. Was it because of someone else? Were they wrong? Did you make a mistake?
If you find that it was due to no reason whatsoever, then chances are you have low emotional intelligence. You may need help educating yourself on basic human emotions.
Self-confidence can be learned, just like any other skill. People who have high levels of EQ also use emotion regulation strategies such as practicing gratitude, looking for the good in people’s actions, and understanding that things will sometimes happen that are beyond your control.
Know when to be aggressive
Sometimes, in our daily lives, we can get so used to being passive and avoiding conflict that we don’t know how to be more assertive.
We also may not realize it, but when we are engaged in an argument or confrontation, you have to remember that person is going through their own set of emotions.
They could feel hurt, scared, guilty, or even angry at you, but they will probably try hard to bury those feelings under a layer of aggression towards you.
This may make them seem like they are not showing any signs of weakness, but actually putting on a strong show for someone else. This is very common in people who develop emotional intelligence – he or she knows how to manipulate others by using anger as a tool.
If this situation was a close one, then chances are they would want to win just as much as you do, which makes arguments less friendly and more likely to turn into violence.