How To Exhibit Emotional Intelligence

People are often so focused on what they want for themselves that they can’t see how their behaviors affect others around them. They don’t realize the impact of their actions as people who have emotional intelligence (or “EQ”) exhibit more self-awareness, understand other people’s emotions, and relate well to others.

Studies show that being emotionally intelligent is one of the most important traits in successful relationships. In fact, research indicates that relationship happiness depends heavily upon someone’s EQ.

If you believe that you lack emotional intelligence, try practicing some strategies on the next page. By changing your behavior, you will shift into higher levels of EQ. And while you're at it, ask yourself if you know what makes your partner or friend happy and do everything you can to give them those things.

Have patience

how to exhibit emotional intelligence

A lot of people get so focused on getting what they want that they can sometimes lose sight of how important it is to be willing to accept things the way they are instead.

This kind of thinking, which we’ve probably all done at some time, goes something like “If I don’t get what I want, then I must not wanted what I got!” or “If I� ________ (insert word such as success, failure, happiness) then I must not wanted this (success, failure, etc.).”

The thing about having emotional intelligence is that you recognize your emotions and why you feel a certain way, but you also understand how other people feels. You know if someone else has their own set of feelings that have nothing to do with you.

So instead of being angry with them for not agreeing with you, you try to understand where they come from. You give them space to process their thoughts and feelings without trying to talk them into changing anything.

That takes a lot more work than just showing up and expecting things to go your way, but in the end it will help you achieve your goals much faster.

Make eye contact

how to exhibit emotional intelligence

Making direct, meaningful connections with others is a powerful tool for creating strong relationships. When you make good eye contact, you show someone you care about them, acknowledge their presence, and emphasize that you are engaged in the conversation.

Good eye contact does not look like it would at first, but research shows that it can be one of the most effective ways to promote emotional intelligence.

When we avoid looking people in the eyes, we may feel insecure or uncomfortable, which can negatively affect how well we relate to others.

But making just the right amount of eye contact has been shown to increase feelings of confidence, trust, and connection between individuals.

Making frequent use of eye contact can also help reduce stress and defuse hostile situations. This is because when we focus our attention on other people, they sense that they matter to us.

It’s worth noting that although this article focused on self-confidence and emotional competence, avoiding eye contact can actually hurt your social skills more broadly — things such as using appropriate tone of voice, listening actively, and giving appropriate nonverbal feedback all depend on keeping conversations fluid and reciprocal.

Be realistic

how to exhibit emotional intelligence

A lot of people get stuck in this idea that emotional intelligence is about feeling emotions and then acting upon them, but that isn’t it at all!

Emotional intelligence is actually being able to identify your own emotions and be aware of other people’s emotions. It’s not about doing something with your feelings, it’s about knowing what actions will bring you into balance or out-of-balance state of mind and figuring out how to best regulate your emotions.

So, if someone makes you feel bad, don’t try to prove why they are wrong by showing your own anger, instead choose an action that can help you stay calm, such as going for a walk or practicing yoga.

It’s also important to realize that just because someone else has a good amount of emotional intelligence doesn’t mean that they are always in control. We’re all unique individuals, so our levels of emotional intelligence vary.

Just because someone seems more emotionally intelligent than you do now does not make them better in the long run.

Share your experiences

how to exhibit emotional intelligence

Most people are not very emotionally intelligent. Many have a lot of self-awareness, but little understanding of what makes other people feel good or bad about things. They may be able to identify their own emotions, but they do not understand why others might feel a certain way towards them.

Many make assumptions about the reasons behind someone else’s emotional state, which can hurt relationships. For example, when you find out that your friend is angry with you, you often assume it is because she does not like you anymore.

It could also be due to something you said or done that made her unhappy before. But maybe she just realized today that she has run out of money, and needs it more than ever.

This article will talk about ways to exhibit emotional intelligence in your daily life. These strategies can be applied at work, at home, and with friends or family members.

Be honest with your peers

how to exhibit emotional intelligence

It is very important that you are able to be candid with your colleagues, classmates, and friends about their behaviors or comments that make you feel uncomfortable or stressed out.

This goes beyond just talking through issues at work; it means being willing to directly address instances of hurtful behavior outside of the workplace as well.

By having open conversations about difficult things, you will help promote emotional intelligence in others.

People who have high levels of empathy can read other people’s emotions and understand why they may be feeling a certain way. They also tend to take time to get to know someone before forming an opinion of them.

Be honest with your boss

how to exhibit emotional intelligence

Sometimes, in the midst of an argument or dispute, you may say something that can hurt another person’s feelings.

Whether it is someone you work for or a friend, when you are in arguments more often than not, they will have some sort of reaction.

They may get upset or feel bad about you. They might even think less of you!

This is how emotional intelligence works.

If you notice that happening, be honest and conscious about what you said. You could try apologizing if you really meant to hurt them, but only if you are truly sorry.

Be honest with your clients

how to exhibit emotional intelligence

As mentioned earlier, emotional intelligence is like having water in an ocean. If you never truly expose someone’s underbelly, they will always feel that there are emotions hiding somewhere just for them to find.

This can be very damaging as well as helpful depending on the situation. In fact, most emotionally intelligent people agree that one of their greatest strengths is being able to recognize and manage their own emotions.

So why don’t we learn how to do this?

We usually get scared or nervous when our feelings run high so we bottle up those emotions and keep them secret. This also makes it more difficult to identify what our true feelings are because we aren’t really sharing them with anyone.

Know your audience

how to exhibit emotional intelligence

As we mentioned before, emotional intelligence is a skill that can be learned and improved upon. But there is something that goes beyond just knowing what emotions other people may be feeling and being able to identify your own feelings – it’s understanding why someone else might be experiencing certain emotions.

This is called theory of mind or cognitive empathy. It sounds fancy, but it doesn’t require you to understand how someone feels in order to relate to them, only why they feel that way.

For example, if someone says they are angry with you, it would make sense to assume that they are actually hurt by you. By figuring out the why behind their emotion, you can avoid making the same mistake again.

With emotional intelligence, there are several factors involved. Some of these include: self-awareness, motivation, ability to recognize and manage emotions, and skills using emotions to achieve one’s goals.

But unfortunately, not everyone has very high levels of emotional intelligence. In fact, according to research, about half of all adults have below average levels of emotional quotient.

Why? Because some don’t learn about their own emotions until they become parents, for instance. Others seem to lack any sort of internal process when it comes to regulating their emotions so they never develop those skills.

However, even if you believe you have little experience with EQ, there are things you can do to improve yours.

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