How To Fix Low Emotional Intelligence
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When someone’s not sure what to make of you, they can’t predict how you will behave next. They don’t know whether you are going to hurt their feelings or if you are going to be supportive and kind. Because of this, people often times give up and avoid trying to get close to you because they aren’t confident that you will keep your promises or that you will feel emotionally connected to them.
This is why emotional intelligence (or EQ for short) is so important. Having high levels of EQ helps you understand other people and relate to them more effectively.
You see it in relationships — those who have a lot of empathy are happier with their partners and friends than those who are less understanding.
Emotional intelligence also plays an integral part in career success. People with higher EQ tend to do better at work, both personally and professionally. In fact, a recent study found that having low emotional quotient was one of the top reasons individuals were unable to succeed at their job.
There are several theories about why people with lower levels of EQ might struggle. Some believe it comes from living in over-stimulated environments where there is a constant stream of input. Others think it is due to genetics, and some theorize it as early experiences playing a role. Whatever the case may be, most agree that improving your own emotional intelligence is a worthy goal.
Listen more than you talk
Many people have a habit of talking more than they listen. They feel that by telling everyone what they want to hear, people will agree with them and thus stop asking questions or seeking input.
This isn’t true!
By never listening to other people, you prove why emotional intelligence is so important. You can’t be successful in life if you don’t understand others and how they think.
You need to recognize other people’s emotions and determine whether their actions make sense. If they don’t, then you must try to figure out what made them feel that way and why they acted as they did.
This article will help you learn how to fix low emotional intelligence.
Do not invalidate their experience
A lot of people in this situation believe that these things are “bad” or “wrong” for how they feel, which can make them even more insecure about their emotional lives.
This may be because we as humans develop our empathy and other social skills by comparing ourselves with others.
By thinking that what you feel is bad or wrong, you may begin to feel worse about yourself. You may also think that your emotions are too strong, when actually they are just normal and healthy!
It takes us all different lengths of time to process feelings, and that’s okay. There is no right way to feel.
Some people may need help figuring out why they are feeling the way they do and working through those emotions, but telling them their feelings are “not natural” or “unhealthy” could backfire and hurt their trust in themselves and their ability to deal with future experiences like this one.
Instead, try being non-judgmental and understanding. Offer encouraging words and let them know it will get better if they want it to.
Make eye contact
A significant part of human communication is when one person looks at another, so making direct eye contact with someone is an important way to show them that you are paying attention to what they say and how they feel.
It’s also a good way to establish trust as well as showing respect for their thoughts and feelings. When we don’t make direct eye contact it can sometimes seem like there is something we are hiding or that we may not be fully aware of something.
Making direct eye contact shows that you are able to relate to the other person and helps to build trust between you both. It’s also a great way to gain some self-confidence as you know you have done your best to look people in the eyes.
If you find it difficult to make eye contact then try looking down slightly while listening to see if that makes it easier for you. Try asking yourself why you are avoiding doing this and whether it is because you do not think the other person is worth investing time in or because you are nervous about saying something important.
Fixing low emotional intelligence isn’t easy but trying to bring out the natural emotions in others is a key part of building strong relationships.
Consistency is one of the most important qualities in life. Consistent people are more likely to succeed than inconsistent ones.
This applies particularly true when it comes to relationships. When you are consistently loving, kind, and understanding towards someone, they will respond by being the same back.
If you want something specific from someone, make sure that you show them how much you want what they have every time they can find you – this makes them feel wanted and needed, which is a powerful motivator.
Relationships take work, but if you really care about each other then I bet you’ll keep trying until you get there.
Consistency is also very hard! We all know people who seem to never change, even when things go horribly wrong. This doesn’t help anyone — not the person themselves, and certainly not those around them.
So why should you be different? Why shouldn’t you constantly strive for better self-control and consistency? Because you simply don’t know what you’re missing out on.
Emotional intelligence (or ‘EI’) is a hugely underrated quality. While some may think it is only for highly intelligent people, this isn’t entirely true.
Everyone has an element of emotional intelligence to some degree, it’s just sometimes we lose track of it or we forget how to use it.
When someone does not seem to be responding to you or your actions, it can make them feel even more insecure.
This is especially true if they think that you do not like them or trust them. It may also put additional pressure on them to change their behavior in order to win your approval.
It can easily create more stress for them, which only makes things worse. This is why it is important to provide constant confirmation that people want what’s best for you and will try hard to meet your needs.
Confirmation can include telling others how well you know them, saying kind things about them, and listening to part of their conversation without interrupting.
It can also mean agreeing with something they said, showing interest in their story, or doing anything else that indicates that you understand and respect them.
Help them with their anxiety
Anxiety is a natural, normal feeling that we experience when our body senses something may be wrong or potentially dangerous.
It can also occur due to stressors in your life- things like changing jobs, breaking up, or having a child.
However, when anxiety becomes persistent and frequent, it can become problematic. This is referred to as excessive anxiety.
Excessive anxiety can negatively affect how you feel about yourself and your relationships.
It sometimes makes you worry more than necessary which can have negative effects on your health.
There are several factors that can contribute to low emotional intelligence (EI). Some of these include genetics, early experiences, socialization, role models, and understanding emotions.
While improving your own EQ is important, exploring the reasons why someone else might have lower EQ is just as vital.
Be a source of humor
A lot of people who have low emotional intelligence are not very funny or quick with jokes.
But being able to make others laugh is one of the best ways to increase your emotional intelligence.
Making other people smile takes away their stress and can help them feel more relaxed and connected to other people.
By learning how to be humorous, you’ll find that your emotions get better in touch. You’ll also learn how to use your own feelings and put them into perspective.
Thinking about why something makes you unhappy will help you deal with it and avoid falling into a bad pattern.
Be a positive influence
A lot of people in this world have low emotional intelligence. They are not able to recognize, identify or acknowledge emotions that other people show them.
They may also be unable to read others’ emotions effectively and understand why they feel a certain way. This is very concerning because relationships form around feelings so if you don’t know how to relate to someone, then your chance of getting along with people will go down.
If you notice that someone has lost their temper, then it is probably best to stay away until they have time to calm down and think about what happened.
People who have low emotional intelligence often make things worse by being too honest or assuming bad intentions when there maybe none. It can put a strain on friendships and relationships which take work to fix.
Be conscious of how you interact with people and try to use emotional literacy as a tool. When you realize you made a mistake, you can apologize and rectify the situation.