How To Fix Low Emotional Intelligence
Success Quarterly is a tech and business blog that focuses on the intersection of Silicon Valley and Hollywood, including technology, business, mobile, entertainment, media, and related topics.
Overcoming low emotional intelligence (EI) is one of the biggest challenges in your life. It’s not something that you can easily learn how to do, but it’s something you must work at consistently for yourself.
Low EI isn’t limited to just people with clinical depression or anxiety disorders, nor are those symptoms only experienced by others around them. Even if someone doesn’t show signs of having anxiety, they could be experiencing low EI due to the presence of internal thoughts and feelings like anger, sadness, fear, and guilt.
It may also influence their social relationships, job performance, and overall happiness and wellness.
This article will talk about some ways to improve your own emotional regulation and understanding of emotions. These strategies include mindfulness, practicing gratitude, living with integrity, acknowledging and accepting mistakes, self-reflecting, identifying strengths, and more.
By using these skills, you’ll find that your emotional well-being grows and benefits other areas of your life.
Consistency is one of the most important things when it comes to emotional intelligence. You need to be consistently good with your emotions, how you handle relationships, and how you manage yourself and others.
It can be hard to stick to these practices as we grow older. Because we spend less time interacting with people, we sometimes lack self-awareness and understanding of other’s emotions.
However, this should not prevent you from living an emotionally healthy life. It’s totally okay if you don’t understand why someone else is crying or if you are never touched by a hug.
You do not have to feel anything for everyone all the time, but trying to put in some effort into understanding their mood will help you enjoy your life more. And believe me, there will be times when you want to give up and be alone.
That is what makes the difference between someone who lives a happy balanced life and someone who is over-extended and stressed out. If you are able to appreciate those moments, then you have succeeded in developing your emotional intelligence.
Make eye contact
A large part of emotional intelligence is making and keeping eye contact. It’s one of those things that we take for granted, but when you don’t do it often, you lose important information about someone.
When you make direct eye contact with another person, you show them respect by acknowledging they exist and that you acknowledge their existence. This creates trust between people which can lead to better relationships.
It also helps establish rapport, or an understanding of who each other are as individuals and what this relationship may be like. When you lack empathy, there’s a chance you won’t understand what others are going through, which makes it hard to relate to them and build trust.
Making eye contact will help you gain that knowledge and so he/she will feel more comfortable around you. Even if you don’t really look at anyone, just having a habit of looking directly into someone’s eyes could still boost your emotional quotient.
Try it! Next time you talk to someone, focus mostly on listening to how they speak and what they say. Don’t worry too much about what you want to say next, instead try to pay more attention to what they have said and see what you can add to the conversation.
This will take some effort on your end because you don’t usually give enough attention to detail, but trying to improve your emotional intelligence isn’t easy either.
A lot of people with low emotional intelligence are too high in expectations. They expect more from themselves and others than what can be achieved consistently. It takes repeated experiences for most people to learn how to relate well, which is why there’s a difference between someone who has low emotional IQ and someone who has medium-low emotional IQ.
Someone with lower emotional IQ will not develop their relationships as quickly or effectively because they cannot understand what other people are trying to say. In fact, it may even put some people off attempting to build relationships altogether.
If you think that you have a limited amount of emotions, then don’t assume that everyone else does too. There are an infinite number of different feelings that humans experience, and there’s no reason that you should feel particularly strong ones.
Everyone else probably feels things much weaker than you do at times, so try not to take them seriously. Being able to recognize and acknowledge your own limitations makes you less likely to place excessive demands on yourself and those around you.
Share your experiences
One of the main reasons why people get emotionally disconnected is because they’re not sharing their personal stories with others.
Everyone has something going on in there life – be it health issues, relationship woes, financial struggles, or anything else – and if you don’t share this information, people will eventually assume that nothing is happening.
This can have disastrous effects on relationships, work, and other areas of your life.
By being aware of what’s making you feel down, you can hopefully figure out how to fix it and move forward from there.
And while it may seem difficult at times to tell someone about your problems, I’d like to offer some tips on how to do just that without oversharing.
Be honest with your peers
It’s easy for people with high emotional intelligence to get distracted by how they feel about things, and sometimes it can be hard for them to keep their emotions in check when you don’t agree with what they are saying.
However, that is only human nature!
It’s okay if you don’t understand something at first, or even if you disagree with someone.
Don’t assume anything about someone else until you have talked to them, and done so consistently – that isn’t friendly.
If there’s something you don’t like or want to do, ask why. Don’t call someone names or say bad things about them unless you really know them, and definitely avoid putting down other people’s arguments.
Help others when they need it
A lot of people have a misconception about what emotional intelligence (EI) is. They think that being able to read someone’s emotions and identify their feelings are parts of EI, but they are only fractions of the whole thing.
The true definition of emotional intelligence comes down to two things: how well you understand your own emotions and how well you understand other people’s.
So why would having good understanding of your own emotions be part of an overall score for emotional intelligence? Because knowing yourself goes beyond just identifying your emotions!
It includes knowing whether you’re angry or happy with yourself, whether you’re confident or insecure, whether you prioritize personal success over helping others, and so on. All of these qualities play a big role in your day-to-day life and impact who you are as a person.
Knowing yourself also helps you regulate your moods and behaviors, which influence the people around you. For example, if you know that most times you feel bad after you hurt somebody, then you’ll try hard not to do that again. Or if you realize that you tend to get upset when you don’t get enough praise, then you’ll make an effort to give yourself more credit for your work.
Be a good listener
A lot of people think that being talkative is one of the important qualities in being intelligent. While this is true, it can also be a way to mask low emotional intelligence.
Talking about yourself and your experiences frequently may make you feel smart but not necessarily friendly or compassionate towards others.
It’s great to have an opinion and talk about what you know, but ignoring other people’s feelings is just as un-intelligent as having no opinions at all.
Become more aware of how your actions affect those around you. When you listen to someone, pay attention to what they are saying, and try to relate their story to yours.
By doing so, you will gain some insights into them which may help you understand who they are.
In fact, research suggests that people with higher emotional intelligence are actually more likely to be successful than those who are not.
There’s a reason why someone who has a lot of empathy is very popular — you want to make sure they don’t get too close because they might hurt them.
People with high EQ understand how to read other people so they can predict their behavior and know what buttons need pressing for situations to change.
But there is such a thing as having too much empathy. When your default state is feeling bad about everyone else’s situation, it can hinder your success.
Optimism is a healthier mindset. It helps you feel good about yourself and your future by anticipating positive outcomes.
It also makes you happier now because you're looking forward to things happening - anything from finding a new job to spending time with friends or family.
This article will talk about some ways to develop your optimism.