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As we know, emotional intelligence (“EI”) is a highly predictive factor in employee performance. When you look at the average office worker, they have little-to-no understanding of how their colleagues feel about them and what impact their behaviors have on others. It’s no wonder that most workers struggle with their job responsibilities for extended periods […]
As we know, emotional intelligence (“EI”) is a highly predictive factor in employee performance. When you look at the average office worker, they have little-to-no understanding of how their colleagues feel about them and what impact their behaviors have on others.
It’s no wonder that most workers struggle with their job responsibilities for extended periods of time. Or that relationships often come to an abrupt halt due to passive-aggressive behavior or hurt feelings.
Sadly, it also creates a culture where people are afraid to speak up because they don’t want to be “annoyed” by something they say. This eventually leads to underperformance and poor quality of work.
If this sounds familiar, there is some good news! You can improve your own EI and help develop the workplace community. And while improving your EQ isn’t easy, it is definitely possible.
Here are five ways to foster emotional intelligence in yourself and others around you.
1.) Use emotion as a guide, not a justification
This will take practice but once you get the hang of it, you’ll see significant improvement. Too many people use emotions as an excuse to behave poorly. For example, someone may yell at you because they are angry with you, so you argue back angrily.
That person has used anger as a reason to be bad.
This will be difficult at times, but it’ll be worth your while in the long run. Take things as they come and stay focused on what you have set out to do. You may need to put some time aside before you see results, but don’t give up just because you don’t immediately see changes.
Don’t compare yourself with others who seem to be more successful than you. We all have our own path that we must walk, and yours might be different from theirs.
Also, remember that mistakes are part of life. No one is perfect, which means there will be times when you feel like giving up. But instead of focusing on how you could have done better, think about what you can do next time to improve.
Above all, keep looking forward and believe in yourself. You are worthy of much more than our comments here today!”
Improving emotional intelligence (EI) is an ever-evolving process that requires us to constantly shift our focus. It takes work to recognize, understand and manage your emotions, so starting off on the right foot is important.
With that in mind, this article will discuss several ways to foster EI through daily practices.
Looking people in the eyes is one of the most powerful ways to connect with them. It’s also a great way to show respect, trust, and interest in someone else. When you look at someone, you are showing them about half of your attention while the other half is on yourself.
By making direct connections with others, emotional intelligence is stimulated. Since we’re all made up of the same components (emotion, thought, behavior), when you make direct connections with people, they can read your true self more clearly.
It’s like having a window into their innermost feelings and thoughts. This is why it’s important to keep eye contacts longer than a few seconds — enough time for both parties to get some insights from each other.
Making small talk is good too, but not if it’s just talking about things that have no relationship to who the person actually is. A lot of what people say during casual conversations has nothing to do with them as individuals, so there isn’t much growth happening.
Recent studies suggest that being able to read other people’s emotions is an important skill for improving emotional intelligence. Social workers, psychologists, and career counselors all agree that being aware of others’ feelings is a must-have quality in human relationships.
But they also emphasize that it’s not enough just to be able to recognize someone else’s emotions; you have to actually understand what those emotions mean before you can work with them productively.
If you’re only able to identify fake smiles or accusatory looks, then your social IQ will suffer. You’ll need to learn how to deal with such things so that you don’t hurt anyone else…or yourself.
Your internalized sense of self-worth will likewise take a hit if you spend most of your time feeling bad about yourself. Even more damagingly, you may develop mental health issues like anxiety or depression when you feel isolated and powerless over your own life.
So, while it’s great to know what other people are feeling, you have to go beyond mere recognition to true insight.
One of the biggest things that emotional smarts are dependent on is sharing your experiences with other people. If you’ve been through something difficult, then tell someone about it so they can understand what you have gone through.
People who have high levels of empathy are able to relate to others and know how to put themselves in their place. They think about how things might affect them and try to predict how another person will respond.
Everyone has different feelings and experiences, which means there is no one way to fix or improve upon EQ. But by using these skills, you can learn from others and help them achieve their goals.
If you want to foster more emotional intelligence, start by making friends and understanding yourself better. Then, share your experiences with those around you – not just for praise, but also so they can learn from you.
As mentioned before, emotional intelligence is not just knowing what emotions are and how to use them for good purposes; it is also being able to identify your own emotions and be aware of other people’s.
By this, I mean you should be able to tell when someone else is feeling happy or sad, and why. You can even watch their body language to get some clues.
It may sound simple, but there are many situations in life where we don’t have that knowledge. For example, if a friend tells you about something bad that happened to them, you might assume they were hurt more because they seemed less friendly than usual. But maybe they were simply telling you about the tough situation they faced so that you could help them feel better by offering supportive words.
If you really want to know how well someone knows her feelings, ask if she ever feels lonely. Most people do at some time in their lives, and if she says yes, then give her some tips on how to reduce that loneliness.
If you want to foster emotional intelligence, then you must be able to listen well. You have to understand what other people are saying and why they are saying it before you can respond intelligently.
Many experts agree that being aware of and understanding your own emotions is an essential part of self-knowledge. However, most people are not very good at this because we often feel our feelings more intensely than anyone else does. This sometimes makes us seem “crazy” or “irrational” – terms which don’t really describe anything beyond our inner experiences.
By contrast, someone who is excellent at listening will usually know when another person is experiencing something emotionally heavy such as anger, sadness, or fear. Such a person will also likely recognize when these things are happening for the first time and if so, how to help them work through them.
In fact, some studies suggest that having adequate social skills like empathy is linked to higher IQs and academic success. So while young children may need encouragement in putting away their toys, adults probably do not.
One of the biggest reasons why people lose their temper is because they get offended or hurt by something someone says about them.
This happens mostly due to what we refer to as “I-statements.” These are statements that start with the word I, for example: I am such a good person. Or I never fail at anything.
When you use an I-statement, it becomes hard for other people to disagree without being considered less than you. It can also make your own self-confidence seem higher than it really is.
Never assume that others will agree with you. Be aware when someone does not agree and see this as a chance to learn more about human nature.
By listening to how people respond to you and reasoning out what could be the cause, you will realize some things about yourself.
We’ve discussed before how emotional intelligence (EI) is like having a good sense of humor or self-awareness. But there is one important difference: It works in you, not against you.
So what does that mean? Well, when someone says something funny, you laugh. When they say something insightful, you give them a smile and nod. When they talk about themselves with pride, you congratulate them.
When they are arrogant or boastful, you tune out. Or maybe you try to change the topic or show them who is boss.
Does anyone do any of these things around you sometimes? Probably not very often. You have solid EI.
The more we can apply our own skills and qualities to understand and appreciate others’, the higher your EQ will be. And since everyone else has some level of EI, it would make sense to strive for the highest possible score — even if you don’t feel particularly smart yourself.
