How To Grow Emotional Intelligence

Over the past few years, emotional intelligence (“EI”) has become one of the most popular leadership strategies in the workplace. Many employers offer workshops and training courses that teach employees how to manage their emotions and improve relationships with colleagues and superiors. There are several reasons why people have gotten so interested in developing their […]

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Over the past few years, emotional intelligence (“EI”) has become one of the most popular leadership strategies in the workplace. Many employers offer workshops and training courses that teach employees how to manage their emotions and improve relationships with colleagues and superiors.

There are several reasons why people have gotten so interested in developing their EI. For one thing, as our society becomes more connected through technology and communication tools, leaders must now work harder than ever to strengthen trust and loyalty among coworkers, friends, and family members.

As we know, strong interpersonal connections play an important role in creating meaningful friendships and fulfilling marriages. And while there is no direct link between EI and success at work, many experts believe that high levels of EI can help you achieve your career goals by helping you connect with others and form supportive relationships.

Another reason why interest in EI is growing is because it can be learned. Unlike some other types of talent or personality traits, like charisma for example, people without much emotion regulation experience will still be able to learn something about his or her own skill set. This makes EI a potentially powerful tool, even if you don’t necessarily feel like you have very much of it right now.

Last, but not least, research shows that having higher levels of EI helps protect your mental health.

Have patience

how to grow emotional intelligence

Sometimes we get so focused on getting what we want that we lose our focus on being happy with where you are right now.

It’s easy to become impatient when things don’t seem to be moving forward the way you wanted them to, but remember — life doesn’t always work in a linear fashion.

Take a break! Take some time off and then come back later. You will feel more motivated because you’ll need to start planning your next move.

Don’t expect miracles. At times, even if you’re doing everything correctly, it may not work out. That’s part of living, I guess?

“Living is about balance, about having enough strength in all areas of your life to deal with whatever comes along,” says Sonja Allen, author of The Happiness Project.”If you’ve got too much strength in one area, you can get stuck.”

How have you grown emotional intelligence? Let us know in the comments below.

Make eye contact

how to grow emotional intelligence

Making eye contact is one of the first things that we develop as human beings. It’s when you look into someone else’s eyes, they look back at yours, that communication happens.

It’s hard to hold someone’s gaze for very long though, which is why most people start talking after only a few seconds. As we grow up, however, making more frequent eye contacts becomes easier.

By the time we’re adults, it’s almost automatic. When you make an effort to keep looking directly at another person, you’ll notice them returning your look with their own.

That doesn’t mean that they like what you have to say, but at least they acknowledge you!

Making regular eye contact helps to create trust, understanding, and cooperation in relationships. If you don’t believe me, try it right now.

Look around the room for a minute; see how many smiles you get. Chances are, not too many. Now close your eyes and take a moment to think about something happy you’ve experienced recently.

When you open your eyes again, I bet you didn’t focus on thoughts of loss and grief.

Be realistic

how to grow emotional intelligence

A lot of theories about emotional intelligence focus heavily on either developing your ability to identify emotions in others or changing how you manage your own emotions.

But what if we gave you a theory that focused more on something different? What if we said it was improving your relationships with people — including friends, family members, and colleagues — by learning how they feel and how to address those feelings?

This is actually an important piece of emotional intelligence. After all, how well do you know someone else when there’s a gap between them and you because you don’t understand their feelings?

And while most of us think we have some sense of whether other people are emotionally present with us, science tells us that’s not always the case.

So here’s another one of those tricky little areas where over-estimating and under-estimating each other’s emotions can cost you big time.

Share your experiences

how to grow emotional intelligence

Growing emotional intelligence is about understanding how emotions work, and learning how to use them in healthy ways. It also means being able to recognize when someone else is experiencing an emotion and what that emotion is.

Many people have a hard time understanding why others sometimes feel angry or hurt by something they say or do. They may not understand why someone else could possibly think it was important for them to tell them something after you told them so clearly that you did not want to hear their ideas.

It can be difficult to realize that there are different things that provoke anger in other people even if the same thing always made you mad. This is part of what makes people who are lacking in emotional intelligence very frustrating to be around.

If you try to talk to this person, you will find that you spend more time getting frustrated with them than talking about whatever topic you were planning to discuss.

Your emotional skills are a valuable asset to yourself and to those around you. You should strive to develop yours as much as possible.

Be honest with your peers

how to grow emotional intelligence

As mentioned before, being able to recognize and understand emotions is one of the keys to emotional intelligence. But there’s a big difference between understanding someone else‘s emotion and attributing those feelings to yourself or to them.

The first can help you figure out what’s going on for them, but it won’t tell you much about who you are as a person. You know when you’ve made an annoying habit that people keep pointing out to you? It may be hard to change your behavior, but if you take time to listen to why it’s bad for you, maybe you’ll realize something is making you do it again.

By acknowledging how you make other people feel, you begin to learn more about yourself. What qualities you have that make you hurt others’ feelings, and what ones you don’t. This way, you grow your empathy-the ability to relate to and understand what things mean to other people-and your self-awareness, which comes from knowing yourself.

Listen to others closely

how to grow emotional intelligence

One of the most important things you can do as someone else’s emotional support is listen to them clearly and for a long time without any interruption. When you are able to recognize what they are trying to say, how they are saying it, and why they are using their words in that way, you will know how to respond effectively.

You must be willing to put up with some serious whining from your friend while she or he tries to work through his or her problems. This could mean waiting until the next good moment to have a conversation, or just listening silently for an extended amount of time.

Whatever you do, don’t make eye contact unless the other person has asked you to do so first. This could easily turn into a staring competition which only makes both people feel more uncomfortable.

If you happen to speak at the same time as someone who is having a bad day, offer to help however you can, but never tell them what to do or try to persuade them to do something if they do not want to. Only talk about neutral topics and avoid getting too personal.

Above all, remember that you did not learn these skills today, and you may need time to process what was said before responding. Take your own time to re-evaluate whether this response made sense before moving onto the next thing.

Don’t be egotistical

Growing emotional intelligence doesn’t mean being selfish or thinking only about you all the time, it means understanding how others feel and why they behave like they do.

It also means considering other people’s points of view and trying to understand them, not just accepting what you believe and dismissing the rest.

And don’t forget that there is no such thing as selfless behaviour – unless someone else will benefit from your actions. It’s all about taking care of yourself and those around you.

Be humble

how to grow emotional intelligence

We’ve discussed before how emotional intelligence (or EQ as it is commonly referred to) can help you achieve your career goals, but what if we told you that having high levels of EQ was actually a good thing?

Research shows that people with higher levels of empathy are happier than those who aren’t. They’re also less likely to suffer from mental health conditions like anxiety or depression.

Having more empathy gives you a sense of understanding for other people. It helps you relate to others and understand their experiences, which makes it easier to form relationships.

That’s why being able to identify someone’s emotions is so important – it allows you to better predict how they will feel next. You’ll also know whether something made them happy or sad.

While most people have some degree of empathy, there are ways to improve yours. Here are five easy tips to grow your emotional quotient.

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