How To Have Better Emotional Intelligence

Having emotional intelligence (EI) is one of the most important skills you can develop because it impacts every area of your life.

This includes relationships, work, health, and self-esteem. It also helps you achieve your goals and avoid falling into harmful patterns.

So what is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence refers to our ability to recognize, understand, manage, and use emotions for effective performance in everyday situations.

It’s not about being good or bad at feeling emotions, but instead using your feelings to motivate yourself to do things.

Many people have normal levels of emotional intelligence, making them feel comfortable with their level of skill.

But there are also individuals who may be very skilled at recognizing and controlling their emotions, which is why they seem less affected by events.

However, this doesn’t make these people any more likely to succeed than someone with lower EI. In fact, it could even hurt their success due to how much their poor mood affects their behavior.

There are several theories about why some people are more intelligent when it comes to emotions, but no single theory has been proven completely correct.

Whatever factor contributes to higher emotional intelligence is still worth developing because it makes us happier and healthier people.

Studies show that having high emotional intelligence predicts better mental and physical health, as well as longer lifespan.

Have patience

how to have better emotional intelligence

Sometimes we get so focused on wanting something to change that we forget about the process of changing things. Changing yourself for good takes time, which can be hard when you want results quickly.

Changing how you manage your emotions is no different! It will take repeat practices every day for these changes to stick. That’s why it’s important to have patience with yourself.

It may feel like you’re wasting your time trying to apply this new behavior, but don’t give up. This is an investment in yourself that will pay off in the long run.

Think of it as putting in those extra hours at work or studying after school gets out. You'll eventually see progress, even if it's slow. Keep working on it until you reach your goal.

Make eye contact

how to have better emotional intelligence

One of the most fundamental ways to have greater emotional intelligence is by making more intentional use of the eyes. When you look at someone, your eyes are two separate pieces that work together to form an expression. The word ‘expression’ comes from the Latin words exprimere, which means to spread out or fan. A well-developed sense of emotion spreads through your body like liquid, filling up every empty space.

When you make direct eye contact with another person, this creates an open channel for communication. Yours will close down if you don’t have anything to say, but theirs stay opened in case they want to talk back. It also helps show respect for the other person, because it demonstrates that you acknowledge their presence and self-worth as human being just like you.

Making frequent eye contacts can help develop your emotional intelligence. If you notice yourself avoiding direct eye contact, try looking into each others’ eyes for a few seconds at least once a day.

Be realistic

how to have better emotional intelligence

A lot of theories about emotional intelligence focus too much on having strong emotions, which is only part of what it takes to have true EI. You also need to be able to control your emotions in the short term, for them to improve.

Many people with high EQ are sometimes accused of being “fake” or “sham” — like someone who puts up a front that they don’t feel anything. This isn’t necessarily wrong, but it can make people think you aren’t really feeling anything yourself.

If you want to know how to develop your emotional intelligence, look into whether there are any diagnostic tools for it. Many companies offer tests to determine if you have low EQ by looking at if you recognize and name your feelings, use effective strategies to manage your own moods, and apply these skills in everyday life.

blog post: Why Is It Important To Develop Your Emotional Quotient?

Bullet point: Because happiness depends on you

But research shows that overall happiness doesn’t depend on outside forces, such as what happens to you – rather, it comes down to how you respond to events, and whether you learn from past experiences.

Share your experiences

how to have better emotional intelligence

A lot of people have a hard time understanding the concept of emotional intelligence (EI). They wonder what all the fuss is about! Others think that having high emotional quotient (emotional strength) is enough to succeed in life.

It’s not though. Being able to control your emotions is only half of the equation. The other part is being able to recognize, identify and understand your own feelings so you can manage them and use them for good.

This kind of self-awareness is called cognitive emotional skills or CESE.

You must know yourself well if you want to achieve success in anything important. This includes achieving success at work and in relationships.

So how do you develop this? By sharing your experience constantly.

By talking about things that make you feel happy, sad, angry or frustrated, and why. You’ll find it helpful in terms of personal growth and development.

Reading books about motivation, psychology and sociology will also help you learn more about the world and yourself.

Be honest with your peers

how to have better emotional intelligence

Sometimes, in our daily lives we get so focused on ourselves that we can easily forget about others. We put ourselves first by taking care of ourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally, but we sometimes neglect those around us.

By being aware of this, you will try to make changes to avoid this and promote emotional intelligence in yourself. Being able to recognize what things are affecting people close to you and trying to improve them is important.

Be honest with friends, family, and colleagues. If they know you don’t seem quite as happy or stable as you usually are, chances are someone else does too.

This could be because they notice something different about you, such as a weight gain, change in how you act or talk, or symptoms of stress or anxiety.

If there’s anything causing concern, it's best to address it head-on rather than keeping quiet and letting things fester. It may be helpful to discuss why you're not feeling well and any worries or fears you have, but only if you feel comfortable doing so.

Running away from your problems won't help anyone -- even you.

Listen to others closely

how to have better emotional intelligence

Let people talk, ask questions, and listen actively. This not only helps you learn more about them, but also gives you some tips and tricks for things they can help you with!

In fact, listening is one of the most important skills you can develop as a person. It will help you in every area of your life—work, relationships, health.

By being able to understand what other people are saying and putting these words into context, you’ll be better able to determine how they feel, if they seem stable or unstable, and whether they might need help.

You’ll also gain knowledge that could help them deal with their issues more effectively. And since we all have similar needs for emotional stability and understanding, this could be helpful for those around you as well.

There are many ways to improve your ability to listen, from simply paying close attention to what someone is saying to using a tool like an audio diary where you write down thoughts and feelings and then later review the material.

No matter which method you choose, just remember that it doesn’t make much sense unless you’re actually doing it, said Susan Rozan, PhD, author of The Courage to Be Kind.

Don’t be egotistical

how to have better emotional intelligence

Many people have a hard time believing that someone could possibly have low emotional intelligence. After all, it seems like everyone has their own personal little world where they figure everything out only through emotions and relationships.

Everyone feels things intensely and deeply, and studies show that having strong emotion is an integral part of being human.

But there are times when this intensity becomes excessive. When you take too much pride in something, or feel overly justified in your actions, then it stops them from moving forward in their life.

This holds them back because they fear what others will think of them, or how they will be perceived by other people.

Alternatively, they may worry about being taken advantage of, which prevents them from investing energy into anything else due to fear of loss. Or maybe they just don’t want to deal with it anymore, and give up trying to fix what isn’t working.

Be humble

how to have better emotional intelligence

A key element of having emotional intelligence is being able to recognize your own weaknesses. We are all prone to making mistakes, breaking down after a bad day or week, and letting our emotions get the better of us at times.

When we put ourselves out there, we sometimes fail to manage our emotions, which can hurt both you and those around you.

By being aware of these shortcomings, you will be able to help mitigate some of them, at least!

Be honest with yourself and learn from your mistakes, every one is unique and important for helping you grow as a person. Don’t make excuses for poor performance, acknowledge it and work on improving upon it next time.

Another way to improve your humility is by educating yourself about things that you don’t know much about. Read books, listen to podcasts, watch videos – anything to expose you to new concepts and ideas.

By doing this, you will not only hone in on how knowledge works, but also strengthen your self-confidence.

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