How To Have Good Emotional Intelligence
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Having good emotional intelligence (EI) is a quality that sets people apart from one another. People who have high EI understand how to use their emotions for healthy purposes, and they’re aware of the effects that other people’s behaviors have on them.
Studies show that people with higher EI are happier than those with lower levels. They're also more likely to succeed in life because they learn better and develop interpersonal skills more quickly.
There are many theories about what makes up someone's level of EI, but no single factor has been proven to be definitive. What we do know is that genetics play an important role in your EI, just like they influence your hair color or eye shape.
This article will talk about some ways you can improve your emotional intelligence through practice. It may feel tedious at first, but eventually you'll see results in your own mood and relationships.
When someone does something that hurts your feelings, try to put yourself in their shoes first. Ask yourself if they really meant to hurt you or if this is just them being silly or not thinking things through.
If it is the second one, then ask yourself if what they said was important to you. If yes, then let it go. You will probably have to forget about the argument for some time, but investing into relationships takes work and energy so we must be willing to accept that sometimes people cannot control how they feel.
However, if it is the last one, then give each other some space until you both feel better. This could mean days, weeks, even months depending on who is more sensitive and which emotions are running high at the moment.
Make eye contact
Making direct, meaningful connections with people is one of the most important things you can do if you want to enjoy your time together. When someone looks you in the eyes, they are telling you something about them; they like you, trust you, and will be consistent with you.
Making eye contact also helps to show respect for others, which is an essential part of human communication. When we don’t make eye contact it can create feelings of unease or even fear of the other person.
When we lack emotional intelligence we may not know how to read other people’s emotions so they may feel uncomfortable around us. This can sometimes lead to hurt feelings and arguments.
However, when we are able to recognize and understand another person’s emotion, then we can avoid any kind of conflict. We can also use that knowledge to help them work through their problems.
Having good emotional control means being aware of your own emotions and understanding what effect your actions have on others. It takes practice but, with effort, you can achieve this.
You’ll find that as your relationships improve, your happiness levels rise. You’ll feel happier and more relaxed, and life will seem easier and better.
A lot of theories about emotional intelligence focus too much on how to control your emotions or improve your regulation skills. This is important, but it’s only half of the equation.
The other part is being aware of your own emotions so that you can recognize when they are serving you and when they aren’t.
This doesn’t mean that you should never get angry or feel hurt, but if you notice yourself getting worked up over something trivial, try taking some time off before diving in more deeply.
It may be helpful to think of this as giving yourself a chance to recover and re-calibrate. You don’t have to address what made you upset immediately, but later in the day.
And remember, there will be times when you won’t know why you’re feeling a certain way – even though you might show some signs of emotion.
That’s okay! Just because someone else could infer your feelings does not make them any less real for you.
Share your experiences
One of the important things that helps people develop their emotional intelligence is sharing stories about yourself or others.
People who have good emotional intelligence are able to relate to other people and understand what makes them feel happy, sad, or motivated.
They are also aware of their own emotions and how they affect others.
It’s like having a little bit of insight into someone else's psyche.
When you're in a situation where you need to connect with another person, you can either try to seem more like the person, which isn't very helpful, or you can use concepts such as those mentioned above to help you talk about something that matters to you both.
Be honest with your peers
As mentioned earlier, one of the key components in having good emotional intelligence is being able to identify what you are feeling and why. Being aware of how you feel can help you improve your relationships and work settings, as well as aid you in finding more satisfying employment.
By being conscious of your emotions, you will be better at recognizing when someone else is experiencing a strong emotion and if they try to hide their feelings or distort them, it will not take long for you to realize that something isn’t quite right. You will also have to recognize whether these things make you uncomfortable so you can address the issue before it even escalates.
It’s important to note too that while it’s helpful to be aware of other people’s emotions, it can sometimes hurt instead of help. If someone makes you feel bad, then chances are they don’t have very much empathy.
On the other hand, if someone consistently makes you feel good, then they probably do care about you, but may need some time to understand you before they can call themselves “empathic.
Listen to others closely
This is one of the most important things you can do if you want to have good emotional intelligence. If you are trying to improve your relationships, then learning how to listen is key.
People tend to feel like no one listens to them so they stop talking about their problems and life experiences. It makes them keep it all in and push aside what they want to say because they don’t think anyone cares or wants to hear what they have to say.
If you want to be able to relate to people and help them through difficult times, then learn how to listen. You will find that people talk more to you than before and will trust you more.
It also helps you understand why people behave the way they do and how to fix their issues when needed.
There was a study done where researchers asked participants to come into an empty room and close the door behind him/her. They were given two minutes to discuss a topic that person picked out for themselves. Then the other participant was told to start discussing something else and the first participant had to choose whether to join in or not.
The majority of participants chose not to even try to speak after being ignored for two minutes, but a few would pick up right away and begin talking about another subject. These a few people said they felt left out and wanted to make sure nothing got forgotten so they made an effort to participate.
Don’t be egotistical
One of the biggest reasons why people lose their temper, become angry or are totally overwhelmed with stress is because they get too focused on themselves.
They feel like everything that doesn’t go their way is due to them – “I didn’t do my job well enough so this happened!” - instead of thinking about how things could have been done better or differently.
This kind of self-blame is a very common culprit in loss of emotional control. It can easily turn into anger, resentment or even hatred towards others, which are all types of strong emotions.
When you put yourself ahead of other people, when you assume bad intentions or lack of motivation on someone else’s part, it creates more hostility than necessary. This isn’t good for anyone.
It’s also egocentric — I am the most important person here, therefore anything that happens cannot be attributed to somebody else.
Emotions such as fear, sadness, happiness, gratitude, love and respect are needed to help us connect with other people. They play an integral role in relationships, communication and functioning as a person.
Without them, we suffer greatly.
Having good emotional intelligence is very much dependent on how you perceive and interact with people around you. This includes friends, family members, colleagues, and even strangers!
If you have a tendency to be overly critical or assume bad intentions, this can hurt your emotional intelligence. On the other hand, if you are always assuming the best about others, this can limit the amount of negative emotions they feel towards you.
By being conscious of these tendencies, you can work on changing them so that you can maximize the effectiveness of your EI.
At the same time, you want to make sure you don’t ignore or suppress your own feelings either. It is okay to feel anger, sadness, or grief, but only when you have worked through those emotions properly.
When you do not deal effectively with your own emotions, it can negatively affect someone else’s perception of you. For example, if you constantly show signs of stress, fear, or frustration, people will eventually get tired of it and avoid you.
That would decrease your emotional literacy, which is one of the major factors in determining whether you have strong social skills or not.