How To Improve My Emotional Intelligence

Changing how you respond to situations will depend mostly on your perception of what is happening around you and whether those things are positive or negative. If someone does something that makes you feel bad, try to hold it in mind for just a few minutes before throwing the towel and walking away.

Do this not because you want to avoid feeling hurt, but because you want to improve your emotional intelligence. You’ll be looking to see if people are going through difficult times and giving them sympathy instead of ignoring them, or even leaving them alone.

If you find yourself reacting with emotion to very little thing, then work on changing the emotions you have so you can focus on being more stable and relaxed.

There is no one way to learn about emotional intelligence. What works for one person may not work for another, so do whatever feels right for you.

Make eye contact

how to improve my emotional intelligence

A lot of people avoid making direct eye contact because they are not comfortable with it. But establishing meaningful eye contact can help you in this world!

Making authentic, one-to-one connections is an important part of human communication. When you make direct eye contact with someone, you show them that you care about their thoughts and feelings. It helps to create trust and connection between individuals.

When your partner looks into your eyes, it gives them a clear picture of what you want from them and how they should treat you. If you lack emotional intelligence, then avoiding eye contact is probably something you need to work on.

But there’s no need to fear it – there's a way to do it properly. Simply looking at another person for a few seconds will be enough to let them know that you're interested in their well-being.

Start by asking yourself what type of person you think would have good emotional intelligence. You'll likely find that most people have a pretty high level of empathy.

Be realistic

how to improve my emotional intelligence

A lot of people get very focused on improving their emotional intelligence (EI) to handle daily life, but they lack the second half of this equation: being able to recognize when you are not in a healthy state and needing help changing that before it gets worse.

Emotions come and go, and we all have our days where things just seem out of control. That is why having someone you trust can be so important – they may tell you something about yourself that you need to hear.

It’s also worth noting that while most people say they want help with their emotions, only around one in three will actually seek outside aid for them.

That is another reason why having more general understanding of emotion could prove helpful — if you know what effect certain feelings or situations have on you, then you are less likely to keep experiencing them without helping yourself remove the cause.

Understand your emotions

how to improve my emotional intelligence

A major component of improving your emotional intelligence is understanding your own emotions. You will find that most people have a habit of denying, avoiding or explaining away their feelings.

This is very common when it comes to love relationships. People may deny that they are feeling lonely, for example, by telling themselves that being alone is not “normal” because we as humans need close friendships and family connections.

They might avoid talking about how they feel hurt or rejected because they do not want to seem weak or show their sensitivity. Or they could explain their negative feelings as due to something else (for instance, someone done something bad to them).

When you learn to recognize and understand your own emotions, you can use this information to improve your overall emotional health and wellness. You can also apply these skills in other areas of your life, such as work and school.

Understand others

how to improve my emotional intelligence

One of the most important things you can improve in your life is your understanding or perception of other people.

This seems like an obvious statement, but it’s one that many struggle with when they are trying to relate to other people. They may think that people don’t care about them as much as they thought they did, which sets them off track and makes them feel even less connected than before.

On the contrary, being able to understand how someone else feels helps create trust, and therefore connection. It also helps you determine whether something is genuine or not by looking at their behavior.

When we are able to recognize what emotions another person is feeling, we can help them work through those feelings more effectively. This applies both to friends and colleagues, and even loved ones!

There will always be some level of uncertainty or skepticism with anyone else, but once you have determined that there is a reason for their behavior, you can move onto solving the problem.

At its core, emotional intelligence is just knowing yourself and how to identify and manage your own emotions. But improving your empathy takes practice so don’t expect instant results.

Think about others before you act

how to improve my emotional intelligence

Most people are not very good at thinking of other people as real human beings with feelings, and their behavior is usually motivated by how they feel about someone or something.

If you want to improve your emotional intelligence, start by trying to understand why most people behave the way they do. Then, determine if there’s any truth in what they say and apply different strategies depending on whether they’re telling you that you should be happy because they like this person/thing or that you shouldn’t worry about things because it makes them unhappy.

You might also find it helpful to think about how you would respond in situations that have nothing to do with love or friendship.

Be honest with your peers

how to improve my emotional intelligence

As mentioned before, one of the important things that helps you develop your emotional intelligence is being honest with yourself and others. If you feel like someone has wronged you, then try to work out what happened and why so you can fix it next time.

This could be in the form of them doing something or saying something they shouldn’t have done, something they said that hurt you, or even just because they are not like you and your friends who agree with each other.

It may also help to realize there will always be people who do not agree with you and that is okay! All too often we get involved in arguments and discussions that really don’t matter.

Avoid getting into an argument if you can’t win it – this would lower your emotional intelligence score.

Embrace differences and acknowledge that not everyone is going to think or act like you do at times. This would improve your empathy score.

Remind yourself that some things will never change no matter how hard you try and use these lessons to your advantage instead of feeling bad about it.

Listen to others closely

In order to improve your emotional intelligence, you must learn how to listen well. This is one of the most important things you can do because relationships are built on strong conversations.

People with high emotional intelligence understand that it’s not appropriate to talk only about yourself all the time. It makes for poor conversation.

When you ask someone what they thought about an event, what they learned from it, or if something made them feel good or bad, their answer will always include details other than just “it was great!”
or “I hate him!”

You have to show some empathy towards the person answering your questions and want to know more about what they did during and after the event.

This way you’ll get better insights into who they are as a person and what matters to them. You’d also learn more about their personal life which could help you be a better friend or colleague to them.

Do not be egotistical

how to improve my emotional intelligence

One of the most important things you can do to improve your emotional intelligence is to understand how emotions work for people around you.

This includes understanding why someone may feel angry with you, or even if they are trying to get your attention by showing their strong feelings.

It also means knowing when it’s best to show certain emotions yourself. For example, if someone else has just made an important decision that will affect you, don’t try to talk them out of it. That would only make them decide against changing course.

Instead, agree to give them time to process what had happened, and hope they’ll change their mind later.

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