Developing your emotional intelligence (or EQ for short) is an integral part of living a happy, healthy life. You’ll find it helpful in all areas of your life — work, relationships, parenting, etc.

Many say that you develop your emotional IQ through practicing empathy, controlling your emotions, and understanding other people’s emotions. These are all good things to know!

But before you can really improve your emotional intelligence, you first have to identify what parts of your emotional IQ you already possess. This article will help you do just that by asking and answering three key questions about yourself.

The three questions relate to one another, so make sure to read them both as a set and also spread out over several days or weeks depending on how fast you respond to self-reflection.

Once answered, take some time to reflect on the answers and see if there are any patterns or concepts that emerge.

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Based on the results of your reflections, try introducing a few strategies into your daily routine to promote overall emotional health and growth.

Make eye contact

A recent study found that making direct, conscious eye contacts with people is one of the most powerful ways to improve your emotional intelligence. When you make direct eye contact with someone, they feel seen and acknowledged by you.

This feeling of being noticed can motivate them to do things because they want to be appreciated by you. They may also try to impress you so that they will have this recognition later on.

Making intentional eye contact helps to create trust between individuals. It shows interest in what others have to say and encourages more conversation.

When you don’t make eye contact with people, it can make them think you are not interested in talking to them or that you are even ignoring their comments. This can make them avoid you or speak less openly than they would normally.

By establishing an internal sense of calm, you can now focus on other areas of your life. Learning how to make better eye contact can help you deal with daily stressors and strengthen your relationships.

Listen to others closely

We often don’t realize how much power we have when it comes to understanding other people, until we actually use it to our advantage. A little bit of empathy can go a long way in this world!

By listening carefully to what other people say and by asking good questions, you will learn a lot about them – and yourself for doing so.

This is especially true if you are trying to gain their trust or move closer to them. By showing an interest in who they are as individuals, you open up opportunities to understand them better.

It also helps you appreciate things from their perspective, which only increases your own level of self-awareness.

When was the last time you listened with full attention to what someone said? I bet you can’t remember the times, but there should be more of those experiences in your life.

Give it a try today.

How does that make you feel? Probably pretty relaxed and confident, right? Now do it for some colleagues or friends, and see what changes you get.

Do not be egotistical

Most people are not in touch with their emotions, which is why they make an average person feel useless at times. You may think you’re too good for someone else because of how well you handle your emotional states, but that could hurt them badly when they need you.

It can also put some pressure on them to behave like an equal if you’ve got no respect for theirs.

By being more aware of your own feelings, you will understand other people better. They will feel comfortable talking to you about things that matter to them, as they know you will listen without giving their opinion less value.

You would also recognize when something isn’t working and don’t keep pushing it or quitting when there's a slight setback – you'll work together towards a solution instead of forcing one on each other.

Understand your emotions

A large part of improving your emotional intelligence is understanding your own feelings. You can learn how to identify your different emotions, what causes them, and how to manage them.

Many people think that being strong means not showing emotion, but this isn’t always the case. Some things are more difficult than other for us to say or even feel.

For example, I would bet most men don’t really understand why most women don’t seem to like them very much. (Hint: it has nothing to do with him!)

But if you take a moment to ask yourself why you’re feeling a certain way, then you start to realize there was something in your day that triggered this response, and you probably reacted too quickly without thinking about it first.

So next time you find yourself getting angry, try asking yourself what may have made you get into that situation. Was it because of something you said, done, or left behind? If so, let go and move on.

Or was it because someone else did something they shouldn’t have? Try to be careful with your language – keep it kind and respectful. If you need to speak up, do so calmly and politely.

Be realistic

A lot of people get overwhelmed with all of the different things they should be doing to improve their emotional intelligence.
You don’t have to spend hours every day studying psychology, self-help books, or listening to talk show episodes to increase your EI.

All you need to do is recognize that your mental health depends on how you feel about yourself and other people.

Running through all of these tools seems like it would take up lots of time, but there are ways to pick and choose which ones work for you.

And even if you’re only spending several minutes per week on each one, that’s still better than nothing.

In fact, some studies suggest that just thinking about your social skills can boost them. So instead of trying to read a book on emotion regulation, try chatting with someone about something meaningful to you.

Or maybe practicing gratitude exercises is more effective than telling yourself ‘thank you�’ over and over again.

Seek out emotional intelligence in others

One of the most important things you can do to improve your own emotional intelligence is to look for it in other people.

This seems like an odd suggestion, but it makes sense. When someone else shows you how they handle their emotions, that gives you some examples of what feels normal for them.

You get a picture of what types of feelings are acceptable and which ones are not. You also learn what sorts of behaviors seem appropriate and what aren’t. In other words, you pick up on social cues.

When you understand other people, you understand yourself more clearly. You realize there’s no reason why you should feel angry about something when someone else does. Or perhaps you recognize a situation where your anger is really warranted.

By looking at the ways other people cope with their emotions, you expose yourself to new ideas and strategies for dealing with your own.

Practice meditation

One of the most effective ways to develop your emotional intelligence is by practicing mindfulness. This can be done through different types of meditation, such as mindfulness yoga or Buddhist mediation.

Mindfulness has been shown to help reduce stress and anxiety, promote focus and concentration, increase self-awareness, and improve relationships.

It also helps you feel more in control of your emotions and life. By becoming aware of what’s going on inside yourself, you are better able to make smart decisions and cope with things that may cause distress.

There are many ways to practice mindfulness, from simple breathing exercises to more structured programs.

Create an environment that encourages emotional intelligence

Developing your emotional intelligence is not just about learning how to recognize emotions in yourself and others, but also how to use those emotions for good.

It’s easy to think that everyone else has their own set of feelings and you don’t understand why they feel the way they do, but we all have our down days. We’re all a little bit angry sometimes, at least once in a while.

We’ve all had situations where someone did something hurtful to us or failed to live up to a promise. Sometimes things go wrong and we lose faith in ourselves and other people.

None of these things are fun to deal with, but having some understanding of them can help you work through them more quickly.

If you want to improve your emotional intelligence, then it’s important to learn what types of emotions are worth exploring and what ones should be ignored or even suppressed.