A lot of people think that emotional intelligence (EI) is something you are either born with or not, like your smart or dumb personality type. This isn’t true at all!

Everyone has some degree of EI. It’s just how well you manage your emotions that differs across individuals.

Some people use emotion as a tool for success, while others seem to avoid it completely. We can learn how to improve our own self-management of emotions though, which helps in achieving overall happiness and success in life.

In this article, we will discuss eight ways to increase your emotional management skills. Read on for more information!

1. Become aware of your emotions

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This one may sound simple, but it's very important.

We usually don't pay much attention to what we're feeling inside of us. We might feel happy about something for a few minutes, then suddenly we're overwhelmed by sadness. Or maybe we're angry for an hour before we realize why.

It takes practice to become aware of your feelings, so start small. Try just looking at yourself for a minute when you're upset. You'll probably notice things such as chest tightening, sweating, and other symptoms.

Once you get the hang of it, try having longer breaks between emotions. That way, you have time to process them.

2.

Make plans

A good self-manager knows how to plan ahead. They know what they need to do next, and how to prioritize these tasks.

They are aware of their priorities and what needs to be done first. In addition to having a job that pays the bills, you can also look at this as being able to manage your money well.

Self management doesn’t just apply to work and spending money, though. It is also about setting goals for yourself outside of employment — like going after your dreams.

You have to believe in yourself before others will. You have to expect more out of yourself than anyone else does, which creates momentum and motivation to achieve your goal.

Planning helps you stay focused and accountable, and gives you an idea of when you should start doing something. Setting deadlines for yourself makes it easier to stick to them.

Self-management isn’t only important at work, but is crucial away from the workplace too. You don’t want to miss anything because you were too busy planning your day.

Do not burn bridges

A lot of people develop bad habits that they stick with for fear of losing something or because it feels good to be lazy.

People who suffer from this kind of self-management lack inner control. They depend heavily upon others for their success, which can sometimes work, but is also hard to maintain in the long run.

If you need help at times, ask for it! But do not make requests too frequently as this could create a dependency on your colleagues or friends.

Do not expect everyone around you to always be there for you, even if you think they should be. Develop strong internal resources so that you are no longer dependent on anyone else.

Be realistic

A lot of people have success with self management because they understand what things matter most to them and how much energy they’ll give up without feeling that they’ve wasted their time or money.

They recognize personal priorities and develop strategies to be more conscious about which commitments they can afford to make, and which ones they need to drop in order to achieve their goals.

By being aware of your limitations, you will probably learn to accept yourself less as someone who cannot fulfill his dreams for a career, but instead as someone who is smart enough to realize he doesn’t have all the answers and isn’t going to find them anyway.

You will learn to appreciate life rather than always looking forward to improving it. - Natalie Lofgren

Closing comment from author Natalie Lofgren:

Take care of yourself by being honest with yourself and creating healthy boundaries. Don’t expect too much out of yourself, acknowledge your mistakes and keep trying!

Self-management has been shown to reduce stress, enhance well-being and facilitate goal achievement. It is also an excellent way to strengthen emotional intelligence (EI).

This article will talk about some ways to improve your self-management skills along with tips for practicing self-management. To finish this article, simply click the link below.

Understand your emotions

A major part of emotional intelligence is being able to identify your own emotions. You can learn how to do this by noting what effects you have on others, looking at examples in other people’s lives, and practicing self-reflection.

You may also be unaware of some of your emotions due to denial or suppression. When you are aware of yourself as a person, you will be better able to recognize emotions that you might otherwise forget you had.

Running away from your feelings can make them grow stronger. By avoiding things that may make you feel uncomfortable, you only end up feeling more stressed out and unhappy.

By learning about your emotions, you can work towards improving your overall mood and happiness.

Understand others

A large part of improving your emotional intelligence is understanding what makes other people tick. This can be done through interacting with them, observing their behaviors, and reading their expressions.

By putting in effort to understand how others are feeling, you will learn a lot about their relationships as well as yourself.

It’s also important to recognize when someone else is not functioning effectively so that you can intervene or help them deal better with situations.

Interpersonal effectiveness refers to our ability to regulate our emotions, relate to others, and fulfill our responsibilities towards ourselves and others.

So, how do we improve interpersonal effectiveness? By practicing self-awareness and empathy!

Self-awareness means being aware of your own habits, tendencies, and qualities. You will also need to acknowledge and accept parts of you that aren’t very effective so that you don’t keep repeating these mistakes.

This will take some time and effort but eventually, you will reach a stage where you feel comfortable acknowledging those things about yourself.

Empathy means understanding and relating to another person’s situation, feelings, and beliefs. It takes a while to develop this, just like developing any other aspect of emotional intelligence.

Look at the big picture

A large part of self-management depends on your view of the situation. You have to be able to look beyond the present moment and consider all the factors that could influence the future.

This way, you’ll be more likely to anticipate potential problems and take action to prevent or reduce them. Plus, it will help you feel in control by understanding the causes and consequences of what goes on around you.

It can also give you some sense of perspective when things are going badly. Because you considered all aspects of the problem, you may come to see the situation in a different light, with less negative emotion.

You’d also learn how to avoid falling into the same pattern every time. This would make it easier to stick to your plans and strategies and save yourself energy and frustration.

Seek guidance

Having more knowledge about yourself is great, but only if you apply that information to improve your life.

It’s easy to know what things make you feel bad or unhappy, but unless you work to change those behaviors, they will keep happening over and over again.

The same goes for good feelings. You have to do something with these experiences in order to achieve success.

Self-awareness is one of the most important self management skills because it can help you identify your weaknesses and strengths, as well as opportunities to develop both.

By being aware of who you are and what makes you happy and sad, you can start to modify how you respond to situations and people.

You can also recognize when someone else has made you feel bad and learn from their actions.

In this way, emotional intelligence becomes an integral part of your overall leadership skill set.

Take breaks

A few years ago, we would tell you to make sure you have enough sleep, that you exercise, eat well, and do all of this in order to feel relaxed or calm down. But with every new device and technology that comes out, there is always another tip or trick to improve your self-management skills.

In fact, these tips are so plentiful they almost become meaningless. With all the different ways to organize your life, how can you know which ones work? And even if one does work for you, will you still be able to implement it into your daily routine?

The first step towards improving your emotional intelligence is by taking a break. You may need a short break after you’ve finished an activity or task, or maybe a longer break if you’re being distracted during a workout or yoga session. Whatever time frame makes sense for you and your schedule, just make sure you don’t overdo it though!

Need help gathering some quick breaks? Try breaking up big tasks into smaller ones. For example, instead of trying to read through an entire book in one go, divide up the chapters into separate shorter readings or reviews. Same goes for doing workouts – try splitting them up throughout the day or week to achieve the same goal.