How To Improve Social Skills With Emotional Intelligence

Social skills are described as our perception of and ability to interact with others. They include such things like understanding time frames, knowing how to set appropriate levels for conversations, and recognizing when someone needs help in overcoming a challenge.

Social skills play an important role in your life. You will probably spend most of your time around other people- whether it’s at work, at school or at home. Therefore, socializing and being able to relate well to others is very important.

It's easy to think that everyone else has these skills and you don't. But we all have them somewhere! It's just about figuring out what they are and practicing them.

In this article, I'll talk about some ways to improve your emotional intelligence (EI) -- which includes socialization skills. Let me give you a little context first though.

Context: Is Your Job More Important Than What Sort Of Person You Are?

We've got a bit ahead here so take your time before reading on. Also, remember that while job titles matter, what matters more is if you perform your job well. Just because someone calls themselves a marketing manager does not mean they can put together effective advertisements. Or even if they could, would anyone really want to watch their advert?

As humans, we're shaped by who we surround ourselves with. This goes beyond casual acquaintances to close friends and family members too.

Make eye contact

how to improve social skills emotional intelligence

Making direct, meaningful connections with people is one of the most important social skills you can develop. When we are not making adequate eye contact, we may be hiding something or feeling uncomfortable about what we are saying.

Making direct, meaningful connections with people is one of the most important social skills you can develop. When we are not making adequate eye contact, we may be hiding something or feeling uncomfortable about what we are saying.

It can also influence how others perceive us. If someone does not have good eye contact, they may feel that person is either shy or dishonest.

However, developing this skill takes practice. It will vary in intensity depending on the individual and situation.

If you find yourself lacking in this area, don’t worry! There are several things you can do to improve your eye contact. Here are some tips for doing so.

Make casual, open-ended questions more interesting by adding “how” and/or “what” keywords. For example, instead of asking, “What did you eat for lunch?” ask, "How was your day going?" Or, "What made you choose such and such restaurant over the other ones?"

These types of questions give off a less formal vibe which helps to break down barriers. Plus, they get closer to the truth!

Keen observers will notice if you are trying to avoid looking anyone directly in the eyes.

Be consistent

how to improve social skills emotional intelligence

Consistency is one of the most important things when it comes to social skills. This means showing up at the same place and time as well as putting in the same amount of effort into relationships you have.

Consistency will help people trust you more which can start new friendships or keep old ones alive. For example, if someone knows they will see you at a party next week, then they are likely to invite you now instead of later because they know you’ll be there.

With social interactions coming with so many different emotions, consistency is something that cannot be overlooked. It will make sure you don’t have an emotional meltdown and lose your cool.

On the other hand, being consistently good will win you friends and influence them to believe in you. They will feel comfortable around you and connect with you, making it easier to form friendships.

Be realistic

how to improve social skills emotional intelligence

Even if you have every tool in the world, social skills will not magically come to you. You must be willing to put in the work to develop them. This may mean investing time into meeting new people, practicing your conversation skills, asking for help from those who are more experienced than you, etc.

There is no quick fix for social skill problems either. It can take months or even years to improve upon what you feel you are already doing well.

You will never know how good you really are at socializing until you test yourself by trying something beyond your current level.

That could be talking to someone about anything for 30 minutes, speaking with three different groups of people under one topic, going up to a stranger and making small talk, or taking an informal walk together after work.

Whatever you choose to do, should be outside of your routine and without any preparation. Doing these things once might make you nervous, but doing it twice makes us comfortable with it. So, try experimenting with little bits of each to see which ones bring out the best in you.

Share your experiences

how to improve social skills emotional intelligence

Developing social skills is about learning how to recognize other people’s emotions and what they are trying to say to you. It also means being able to respond to these messages in a way that is appropriate for their level of intimacy with you.

Social interactions can be tricky, which is why it is so important to develop emotional intelligence (EI). EI is described as the ability to perceive your own feelings and those of others, and how you relate to them.

It is also referred to as “self-awareness,” because it requires knowing yourself well. This is different from generalizing about yourself or having a negative opinion of yourself — it includes feeling good about yourself and being aware when things go well for you.

There are several reasons to increase your social skills. You will probably experience a lot of stress due to work, relationships, and life changes, and social skills help you deal with this.

You will want to improve your social skills if you feel uncomfortable around people. If you struggle to make small talk with strangers, then invest in some conversation training.

If you find it difficult to trust people, then learn how to reestablish trust. And if you have trouble understanding someone’s mood, try to figure out what they mean before agreeing or disagreeing.

Be honest with your peers

how to improve social skills emotional intelligence

As mentioned before, social intelligence is related to being able to read other people’s body language, tone of voice, and what they are saying. Being aware of these things makes it easier to understand how others feel and what buttons they have pressed for past encounters.

By being honest yourself, you will be more likely to recognize when someone else has made an assumption or false conclusion about them. This can sometimes come down as them realizing that you do not like them which may hurt their feelings.

By acknowledging those emotions, you help reduce stress in the long run and allow for better conversations later. And we all know that talking about your problems helps!

Being honest with people can also mean telling them something that might make them uncomfortable but is true so that they can address the issue properly. For example, if someone does not agree with another person’t choice then maybe they need to learn some basic economics.

Listen to others closely

how to improve social skills emotional intelligence

A large part of social skills is listening to other people, understanding what they are saying, and responding in an appropriate way. Starting with simply paying attention to what other people say and adding comments or questions as needed helps improve your social skills.

Interacting with people can be difficult at times because there are so many things you want to say and do. Refrain from talking about topics that have been discussed earlier unless it is something new you wanted to add or them to discuss more fully.

Try not to talk too much either; let those around you speak for themselves. When someone has made a comment, respond using the same topic, give some input, and/or ask a question. Don’t make small talk if anyone else isn’t doing it – get into the real issues.

Your tone and body language also play a big role in how people perceive you. Keep calm and collected, focus on having fun, and use eye contact when possible. If these things aren’t working, try changing them!

You may find it helpful to take a few minutes before meeting someone to brainstorm ways to be socially intelligent. Make notes and keep them by you for easy reference.

Don’t be egotistical

A lot of people have a hard time relating to other people because they are always thinking about themselves. To say someone is not likeable would be an understatement.

They feel that everyone else in the room is not paying attention to them, or talking only about themselves. They think that everything that gets said around them is for their benefit alone.

This may seem very self-centered but it isn’t. It could be due to a lack of emotional intelligence (EI).

People with high EI understand how emotions work and use this knowledge to relate to others. They know what buttons to press and which ones to avoid when trying to get a conversation going.

They aren’t too concerned about being the most interesting person at the party, instead, they focus on creating conversations and getting insights from what others say.

If you want to improve your social skills then must learn how to manage your own emotions and respect those of others. This will go a long way towards enhancing your relationships.

Be humble

how to improve social skills emotional intelligence

If you feel that you are better than other people, or that they are not as smart as you, then it is time to change this perception. This will take work, but only if you are willing to put in the effort.

The most important social skill is being aware of your own strengths and weaknesses. Know what works for you and learn how to adjust when things do not go well.

This may mean giving up something that you like so that you can focus more on someone else’s liking it. It could be changing strategies that have worked in the past to see if new ones work better.

It could even be trying something new that person who doesn’t seem to respond to old methods. But don’t give up! You are an intelligent person with skills that you know how to use, so why not apply them to something that makes you unhappy?

Removing your mental block can help you achieve your goal of being happier. Learning how to be less confident is a very common source of emotional pain.

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