How To Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

Over the past few years, emotional intelligence (“EI”) has become one of the most popular skills people have asked how to improve. It is typically defined as the ability to recognize your emotions and learn how to manage them in a way that is productive and effective.

Many experts believe it can be developed through practicing certain strategies, such as learning how to identify your own feelings and those of others, understanding why you feel a particular way about something, and using these insights to make smart decisions.

While some studies claim that having high EI makes it easier to succeed at work, other research suggests that this isn’t necessarily true — being able to control your emotions may actually limit your career opportunities. What's important is what you want to achieve and how willing you are to sacrifice short-term rewards for long term success.

This article will go into more detail on several ways you can develop your EQ. You don't need to do everything listed here, but try out one or two each week and see if there is any change in your mood, relationships, and overall quality of life.

Have patience

how to improve your emotional intelligence pdf

Most people have a tendency to get upset or angry about things that happen around them, particularly when they are trying to achieve their goal.

When you’re in a situation where you’re trying to do something, you can become easily irritated or stressed out by obstacles that get in your way.

It may be because someone is always getting in your way, it may be because other people don’t seem to want what you want, or it could be due to a lack of understanding or knowledge about how to help you succeed.

Whatever the case may be, more often than not, these issues will burn up valuable energy which could otherwise be used for achieving your goal.

This can be very counterproductive if you really wanted to accomplish your mission. You need to remember that there will be setbacks, so instead of getting annoyed or frustrated, try to enjoy the present moment and focus on what you can do next time.

Make eye contact

how to improve your emotional intelligence pdf

When you look at someone, your eyes are two of the most important ways that they receive social signals. Making direct eye contact is one of the easiest ways to gain emotional intelligence because it allows them to read your emotions clearly.

When you avoid making eye contact with people, you can come off as being uncomfortable or even deceitful. This may be due to nervousness about interacting with others, but also because you don’t have much empathy. You may not understand what other people feel, which is a key part in human communication.

Making eye contact shows interest in person and demonstrates respect for their space and self. It also gives them an opportunity to see how you respond to things – are you calm or are you getting upset? This way, they can get a sense of whether you are stable and confident, or if you are trying to hide something. All of these factors contribute to helping them form an opinion of you!

You can easily make eye contact by simply looking directly into someone else’s face. But there are some more advanced tips like keeping time between each glance so it doesn’t seem too deliberate and constant, and never letting your gaze drop below theirs.

Be realistic

how to improve your emotional intelligence pdf

A lot of people get stuck trying to improve their emotional intelligence because they think that if they try hard enough, it will just come naturally to them. It does not.

Emotional intelligence is something you are born with or without. You cannot really do anything about having low emotional quotient (EQ) unless you are also given tools to work on it.

This may sound very discouraging but it should actually be motivating since it means you do not have to worry too much about it!

Some things such as empathy and understanding other people’s emotions comes more easily to some people than others. This is okay! If this is what makes you feel happy then go ahead and enjoy these qualities, especially if they are in high amounts.

But please understand that it will take a lot of effort to develop your emotional intelligence – even though it is a quality you can learn and grow.

Share your experiences

how to improve your emotional intelligence pdf

One of the most important things that can improve your emotional intelligence is sharing your experiences with others.
As mentioned before, being aware of what makes other people laugh or cry can help you predict their reactions.

This also applies to situations where someone else has been hurt by another person. If you are able to see one of these individuals later, it is helpful to be able to read body language and know how to ask open-ended questions so that they feel comfortable talking about what happened.

By listening to their stories, you will not only learn more about them but also yourself because you will realize something about your own limitations and strengths.

You will also find out if there is anything similar in yours that you lack which could be improved.

Be honest with your peers

how to improve your emotional intelligence pdf

A lot of people develop social skills by talking about them, but actually doing it is another thing altogether. If you’re going to talk about your empathy or understanding of other people, then prove it by putting those words into action.

You should strive to be genuinely empathetic towards others at all times. When there are situations that could potentially bring out emotions in someone else, be willing to feel these same feelings yourself before letting things pass.

This will take some practice, but eventually you’ll get here!

When you’ve reached this stage, you can add something to the list: You are now able to improve your emotional intelligence.

Listen to others closely

how to improve your emotional intelligence pdf

Another important skill to improve is listening, which can be described as paying close attention to other people. This includes being able to listen to someone talk for an hour without distractions like texting or talking yourself.

It also means being aware of what they are saying and how they are saying it- not just simple repetition but understanding the context behind their words.

You would probably agree that when someone is crying, they do not sound happy. On the contrary, they seem very sad and distressed. Therefore, you should ask them why they are crying and try to offer some comforting words if they want you to.

Likewise, if someone looks tired and stressed out, you could ask whether there is anything they need help with or whether they have asked for help already. If they have, then give them whatever assistance they request!

Reading about emotional intelligence in this article is good starting place to learn more ways to hone your own. You may be surprised at all the things you did not know you had.

Don’t be egotistical

how to improve your emotional intelligence pdf

One of the biggest reasons why people lose motivation in life is because they are always thinking about themselves. You need to understand your place in this world, but you also have to realize that there are bigger things at play than just you.

Your own personal success does not make you successful. Helping others succeed makes them feel good and thus helps them function properly as humans. This will help them form more meaningful relationships with other individuals and therefore create longer lasting happiness.

You can only achieve your goal if you are willing to put in the effort without expecting anything back. If you are too focused on yourself then you won’t even try.

Furthermore, remember that it takes someone else to give you praise. It may sound cliché, but don’t take pride in something so hard to find. Rather, acknowledge how well you performed and reward yourself for trying.

Be humble

how to improve your emotional intelligence pdf

A key part of emotional intelligence is being able to recognize your own strengths and weaknesses. Too often, people overestimate their abilities and underestimate others’.

This can be very harmful when you are trying to achieve your goals. You may feel overly confident in yourself, which can hurt motivated colleagues or competitors.

On the other hand, you might fear making mistakes because you think everyone else is better than you. This can stop you from reaching your potential.

Whatever your strength, know it and appreciate it – but don’t get too self-focused on it. Try thinking about what you would want someone who didn’t have that strength to say about you.

Aim to be like this for at least twenty minutes every day.

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