Many people believe that emotional intelligence (or EQ as it is sometimes called) is only important in workplace settings, but this assumption is wrong! In fact, having strong levels of emotion control comes in very handy outside of work as well.

This may surprise you, but there are things like the bar exam, the SAT test, and even some job interviews that require you to be able to regulate your emotions.

If you’ve ever seen someone play the piano beautifully with their hands, then you know what I mean when I say regulation is done mechanically without thinking about it.

That is why we can all agree that practicing mindfulness exercises or taking yoga classes is worth its weight in gold.

Mindfulness removes the element of self-control from the process, but teaching yourself to regulate your own inner dialogue and feelings takes practice.

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And just like any other skill, you get better at it by doing it more frequently.

In this article, you will learn how to do just that – make your daily life a little bit happier through skills related to emotional intelligence.

Be realistic

A lot of people get stuck in a pattern of not changing their behavior because they believe that things are fine the way they are. They may also feel nervous about changing how they interact with others, so they don’t even try to be more empathic.

If you truly want to achieve your emotional intelligence goals, then it is important to recognize that things aren’t going to change until you make them happen.

You have to actually trying to improve yourself before you can expect results. This could mean putting in some time every day to practice, or it could mean investing in an educational program to help you learn more.

It may also mean giving up something you think you should keep doing, like pretending everything is okay when it isn’t. If this is necessary for your health, work schedule, family, etc., then you need to let go of this habit.

Be informative

When interviewing someone for a position, you should be asking about all of the important things such as whether they could handle certain responsibilities, if they would like that responsibility, and how much experience they have performing these duties.

But what is actually being tested when an interviewer asks about emotional skills or “emotional intelligence”?

Emotional quotient (EQ) is another term used to describe this quality. However, using those terms can sometimes seem vague or confusing. That is why it is helpful to know some key points about emotional intelligence.

You will also learn some tips and tricks for assessing potential employers’s experiences with EQ. After reading our list below, you will feel more prepared for the next time you are asked about emotional literacy!

1. Emotional control

This refers to your ability to regulate your emotions even in difficult situations. More specifically, you must be able to contain your anger, frustration, sadness, or any other emotion until you have worked through them.

Some examples of people who have strong control over their emotions include teachers, police officers, and nurses. They are trained to put their attention on only doing good things so that they do not get distracted by negative feelings.

2. Recognition and management of emotions

This includes knowing what emotions others around you are feeling and being able to use that information to help them relax or deal with whatever made them upset.

Be direct

When interviewing someone, being direct is one of the most important things you can do. Being direct with your questions as well as their answers will help you learn more about them and what they want out of life.

Interpersonal skills are something that many people have but few use effectively. By having these tools, you’ll be able to relate to other people and bring out the best in them. You’d like to think of yourself as an intelligent person, but asking penetrating questions isn’t always easy.

Emotional intelligence (EI) is a set of abilities that allow you to recognize, understand, and manage your emotions. The better you are at understanding and controlling your own feelings, the easier it will be to relate to others and get through difficult times together.

You’ve probably heard some versions of this theory before, but there’s one major difference between those theories and the one we’re talking about here – this one includes the term ‘intelligent.’ This word was left off the list in earlier iterations because researchers found no correlation between EI and IQ.

That said, while smartness is not necessarily correlated with emotional intelligence, individuals who are highly emotionally intelligent are usually also considered bright.

So how can you improve your emotional intelligence? Here are 10 ways to boost your EQ.

Listen closely

A lot of people have a hard time understanding emotional intelligence because they believe that only people with high emotional quotients are good leaders. That’s not true at all! In fact, there are many successful leaders who are very deliberate in trying to reduce their own levels of emotional engagement.

Becoming a great leader does not necessarily mean letting your emotions run wild every now and then. It means being able to recognize and manage your emotions so that you can effectively lead others towards achieving their goals.

There are several reasons why this is important. For one thing, a low level of emotional engagement can sometimes make it difficult for you to understand what other people feel and want. This makes leading them tricky.

You also do not want your team members to feel like you cannot handle strong feelings. When they see you struggling with something, they may get discouraged or even leave.

This will hurt your leadership career more than anything else. Even if you are the most qualified candidate, you will probably be rejected due to poor interpersonal skills.

Look closely

A lot of people tend to think that emotional intelligence is only about how you manage your emotions in relation to other people, but it goes much deeper than that. What kind of leader you want to be depends heavily on not just what emotions you can control yourself of, but also how well you understand and recognize others’ emotions.

As humans we spend a significant amount of time thinking about things and coming up with different theories as to why something happened or someone did something. We also have theory and conjecture about many things including politics, religion, and media stories.

By analyzing these concepts and ideas more closely, you can sometimes find weaknesses in them which show how false they are. This process is called debunking. You could analyze and discuss whether this book or movie series teaches moral lessons effectively or if the characters are completely one-dimensional.

With respect to leadership, there are some theories such as psychodynamic theory and rationalist theory that go even farther in explaining certain personality types and their roles within an organization.

However, both of those depend mostly on understanding who the leaders are and what makes them tick, which is usually not easy to do unless you have very strong sources.

Interpersonal psychoanalysis looks at relationships between two individuals and how those interactions influence each person. For example, the individual may feel insecure because they perceive the other person has too much power over them.

Touch on their experiences

Ask about their personal struggles, career milestones, and significant achievements. These can be work-related or life related, but if they’re not, you will know that they are not someone who takes time off to reflect and evaluate how well they are doing.

Interpersonal skills are something most people have to develop at some point in their lives. It is improving your emotional intelligence (EI) really comes down to understanding other people and knowing when to put up shields and play games to avoid confrontation or influence others.

If you want to see whether an individual has strong interpersonal skills, ask about their weaknesses as well as strengths. You would never expect to meet someone with no weaknesses, so there should be at least one topic that feels authentic and honest.

When interviewing individuals with low EI, you may also notice that they praise themselves more than others, which is why it is important to not only look at their failures, but also recognize their successes.

Ask about their challenges

Asking about past experiences is a good way to gauge emotional intelligence. If you’re interviewing someone for a position that requires working with people, ask them how they overcame past situations where they had to work with many different individuals or groups.

It may be hard to believe, but there are some people who are not very well-socialized. Even if this person does not use social skills frequently, you should consider offering them the job depending on whether they can manage relationships effectively.

On the other hand, there are also individuals whose shyness makes interacting with others uncomfortable at times, which could negatively affect the workplace.

If this sounds like a potential match for you then it would pay to look into EI tests to see what levels of empathy and related concepts they have.

Ask about their successes

A good way to assess emotional intelligence is to ask how someone handled a situation that didn’t go their way. What did they do when they were disappointed or hurt by something another person said? What strategies did they use to be able to move on?

It sounds obvious, but too often we don’t ask this question because we think people can’t lie when asked if they are smart in relationships. (They definitely can.) We also may not feel comfortable asking it since it requires looking at some very human qualities like weakness and shame.

But here’s the thing: even if you never work with someone again after a few weeks, you still have one good quality as a friend! You will know what they look like after they fail, which gives you an important clue into whether they are strong or weak inside.