How To Know If Someone Lacks Emotional Intelligence
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Over the past few years, emotional intelligence (or EQ for short) has become one of the most popular psychology theories. Many experts believe that it can play an important role in helping you achieve your goals and help you relate to people more effectively.
Many employers now require employees to have adequate levels of EQ as part of their job qualifications. This is particularly true in departments such as marketing or sales where interpersonal skills are crucial to success.
However, there are some individuals who seem to lack basic EQ capabilities. They may not be able to recognize and acknowledge emotions in themselves and others which can hurt relationships and productivity at work.
It’s very difficult to tell whether someone lacks EQ until you actually test them so here are some ways to do just that! Read on to learn all about how to determine if someone is emotionally intelligent or not.
How to Test For Emotional Quotient
Emotional quotient isn’t something that everyone possesses but rather like IQ, every person has a certain level of EQ they possess. It’s simply determined by individual differences in personality. Some people are more socially conscious than others and this makes sense because we are social creatures.
Just like with IQ tests, there are several different tools you can use to assess someone’s EQ. These include questionnaires, interviews, self-assessments, and observations/behavior checks.
They do not communicate their emotions
Over time, people will show you how they feel through what they say, how they dress, what things mean to them, and so on. When someone does not clearly state their feelings, it is hard for others to know whether they are angry with you or just don’t like you.
If you want to know what someone truly feels, look at their actions. Are they acting friendly towards you? Are they cooperating with you on projects? If yes, then probably they like you and your presence in their life.
But if they are constantly putting up barriers, that isn’t a good sign. It could be because they fear losing you as a friend, it could be because they cannot handle your negative energy, or it could be because they simply do not like you.
No one has perfect emotional intelligence, but most people have enough to understand other people’s emotions. If they do not, it may indicate that they were never taught how to deal with them or they did not get help understanding their own emotions when they were younger.
They are unable to handle situations
One of the most important things that emotional intelligence (or lack thereof) reflects is how you deal with people in their presence or outside of them. If someone cannot calm down when they feel angry, it shows that they have a low level of emotional control.
People who tend to lose their temper more frequently also suffer from higher levels of emotional volatility. This makes them feel better for a moment, but then later they may regret what they said or did.
It’s very possible to have high emotional intelligence during early stages of relationships, but as your relationship progresses you will find that some things become annoying or make you uncomfortable. You may even get sick of each other at times!
If this happens, your emotions start to go beyond the boundaries set by someone with lower emotional intelligence.
They get angry or frustrated easily
Many people struggle with how to control their emotions. These individuals can be very touchy, sometimes even having a short fuse when confronted with something they feel is wrong.
When they do come across as being emotional, it often is because of their underlying anger. They may seem like someone who doesn’t show much emotion, but underneath there's a rage that has been building up for quite some time now.
This could be due to personal issues such as work, family, or health; financial problems; or general life changes like moving or having a child.
It could also be due to external factors like living in a bad neighborhood or workplace that can provoke an outburst.
They cannot handle pressure
When things get tough, you would feel that they are running away from the challenge. A person with limited emotional intelligence can’t handle stress well, so they often look for ways to avoid it.
If someone is constantly putting off doing what needs to be done, then it should set off alarm bells as there could be underlying reasons why.
It may be because they don’t want to do their work or show how much they care about you. It could be due to fear – of making a mistake, being criticized, not knowing what to do, etc.
Whatever the reason, it will only make them perform worse when needed. In fact, it can have disastrous effects since they won’t properly prepare themselves ahead of time.
Pressuring people to keep up deadlines that matter to you will probably hurt your relationships more than help them.
When someone in your life seems to lack empathy and self-awareness, try to determine whether these traits are something he or she will improve over time.
They get distracted
Most people have a hard time focusing for extended periods of time. This is an unfortunate side effect of being very motivated, focused, and driven.
Once you've got a goal, you need to be able to focus on it until you reach your destination. But in our constantly-connected world, staying focused can be a feat in and of itself.
So how do you know whether or not someone has adequate emotional intelligence? You look at their attention span.
If someone cannot maintain their focus on something for more than a few minutes, then they are probably lacking in EI. It's like asking someone who never studies before school what kind of student they want to be.
This could be because they don't prioritize education enough, which only serves to hurt them in the long run. Or maybe they're just not organized enough!
Distractions typically consist of things such as talking to friends, checking out new apps, looking up information online, or watching TV.
They are not able to motivate others
A lack of emotional intelligence is often times accompanied by poor leadership skills. People that show little or no interest in motivating other people away from negative thoughts and emotions are usually not very good leaders.
This isn’t always the case, of course. There are some individuals who can effectively promote positive thinking in those around them while also being motivated themselves. However, it is much more common for someone with low EI to go about suppressing their own feelings and failing to inspire others.
If you notice such behaviors in someone that seems like they could use some help in promoting mental health, then maybe they need some lessons in emotional intelligence.
They are not able to resolve conflicts
Many people lack emotional intelligence because they cannot relate to others and struggle to maintain relationships. You will know that someone is incapable of resolving conflicts with other people when you find yourself in a conflict situation and they try to use tactics instead of solutions or talk about how much they care about you.
They may even accuse you of being too aggressive or motivated by money, which is only possible if they do not understand motivating forces. This is why it is important to be aware of whether someone has adequate EQ before investing time in them.
If you notice such behaviors, then chances are they don’t have enough empathy for other people.
Also, they might not recognize your strengths and weaknesses, but rather perceive you as an obstacle to be overcome or eliminated.
They get upset
Sometimes, people get very angry or frustrated with you- not because of what they actually say, but how they said it. This is an indicator that they do not understand emotional intelligence.
People who have low EQ are sometimes really harsh when things go wrong. They may use sarcasm and humor sparingly, and can be easily angered.
They may also show lack empathy by ignoring other’s feelings. On the other hand, they may be overly focused on their own emotions and experiences, which is why some call them “emotion workers.”
But overall, people with lower EI don’t tend to worry about other people’s happiness as much as others do.