How To Know If You Have Emotional Intelligence
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Over the past few years, emotional intelligence (“EI”) has become one of the most popular leadership theories in business. It looks at how effectively you manage your own emotions and those of others as an important factor in shaping workplace dynamics and success.
Some people have criticized EI for being too focused on “self-awareness” — which is only part of what makes up the concept. But self-awareness is still a key component that many versions of the theory include.
This article will help you determine whether you have strong emotional control or not by asking you some questions about yourself and other people.
You can also learn more about this powerful skill here.
You are consistent
Consistency is one of the most important traits to look for when trying to determine whether you have emotional intelligence or not. If you can identify what makes you feel good about yourself, then you should probably stick to those behaviors and things that make you happier than before.
It’s impossible to achieve true success without learning how to regulate your emotions, but it’s also difficult to know if you’re capable of doing so unless you’ve seen it in action.
So why don’t we all learn how to control our own feelings? It’s because many people believe that feeling something is wrong means that they’re bad as a person and therefore shouldn’t do such things anymore.
That way of thinking creates more reasons for them to be unhappy, which only perpetuates their current state of mind.
By believing that you are “defective” because you felt sad earlier today, you will keep yourself from letting go and experiencing other emotions. You will never realize your potential inner strength until you let go and enjoy life like you mean it.
Start practicing by simply asking yourself: What made me happy yesterday? Why did I feel good at that time? Was it my job, family, friends, exercise, food, material goods?
Now, ask yourself the same question today.
You can reflect on your emotions
It is also possible to identify whether you have emotional intelligence or not by looking at your reactions to things. For example, let’s say you are reading this article right now and you become very angry. That is a sign that you do not possess strong social skills like empathy.
You cannot empathize with something unless you understand it, so being able to recognize and control your own feelings is an important aspect of having emotional intelligence.
On the other hand, people who are highly emotionally intelligent will be able to relate to what you are reading here because they know how to regulate their own emotions.
So next time someone makes you feel bad for some reason, take a moment to yourself to evaluate why that person made you feel that way.
You can control your emotions
One of the most important things you can work on is controlling your own emotional responses. This is called self-regulation or, more commonly known as emotional intelligence (or EQ).
This isn’t just about being able to show patience when someone else takes too long in a room with all their belongings. It goes beyond that.
Self-regulatory skills help us manage our moods and behaviors in the short term and long term. They also contribute to how well we relate to other people.
So what are some ways to improve your emotional intelligence? Here are 6 tips for improving your empathy.
1. Use the ‘Tame Your Anger’ technique
The ‘Tame Your Anger’ technique was first described by psychologist Peter A. Cluett back in 1989. He coined this phrase after reading an article about why women get angry less than men.
He noticed that many female professionals use the same tactic – they pretend like everything is fine while actually boiling over inside.
This works because it forces you to acknowledge that something makes you feel bad. This cuts down on the length of time it would take to come up with a reason why it made you unhappy.
You can apply this to other situations where someone does something that makes you feel bad. For example, if your friend comes to visit you and then doesn’t invite you anywhere, try pretending like nothing happened before getting into the car.
You can adapt your emotions
It’s not just about having feelings, it’s also knowing how to manage them. Being able to regulate your emotions is an integral part of emotional intelligence.
This doesn’t mean that you should never get angry or feel hurt, but being able to control your reactions to situations and people helps balance the things in your life.
If you want to keep your relationships healthy, you have to be able to recognize when someone needs your attention, love, and care, and you have to give it to them.
You need to be able to forgive and forget as well, which are two other important components of interpersonal relationships.
You also have to understand why people do what they do, and for this, you must be aware of their moods and behaviors.
It’s impossible to enjoy a day with someone if you don’t know what made them happy the last time they talked to you, so being emotionally intelligent means learning how to motivate others.
You can use your emotions for effective goal setting
When you're able to recognize what is motivating you, you are more likely to achieve your goals. What types of rewards inspire you? What does not?
Knowing how to identify and manage your emotions may be considered a form of emotional intelligence. While there is no definitive definition, many believe that having emotional quotient (EQ) means being aware of your own feelings and those around you, and using these feelings to motivate yourself towards your goals.
You will also need to take care of other people's emotions in order to satisfy their needs so they will keep trusting you and working with you.
In fact, studies show that people who have high EQ are more successful than others. In his book The Happiness Trap, Gretchen Chia notes that research has shown that individuals with higher levels of happiness and/or empathy tend to succeed more as workers, parents, and partners.
You can use your emotions to motivate yourself
A lot of people think that emotional intelligence (or EQ as it is often referred to) is only for rich or powerful individuals. This couldn’t be further from the truth!
By educating ourselves about our own feelings and those of others, we can learn how to motivate ourselves and contribute to motivation and inspiration in other people.
It may even help us find happiness and contentment in life.
So why not try putting some effort into developing yours? It's definitely worth it.
You can use your emotions to motivate others
In fact, there is some evidence that having emotional intelligence (or EI for short) helps you achieve this goal. This theory suggests that people who have higher levels of EI are more likely to succeed in motivating others towards their goals.
On the other hand, individuals with lower levels of EI are usually successful because they learn how to be motivated by rewards and punishments – thinking that you should do something because you want what things bring you is a way to stay motivated for only a limited amount of time.
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it doesn’t make you very efficient at helping other people be motivated.
You are aware of your emotions
A lot of people believe that you learn emotional intelligence (EI) in childhood, but this is not true. While it’s very important to understand your feelings, developing your EI isn’t an educational process that happens over time as some theories suggest.
Instead, we can say with certainty that everyone has some level of emotional intelligence. We all have basic skills like understanding our own emotions and those of others, what causes us to feel certain ways, and how to regulate our behaviors and responses to situations.
Some people may develop their emotional quotient (or EQ for short) slightly more than others, but none of us is totally devoid of them.