How To Measure Your Emotional Intelligence
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Over the past few years, emotional intelligence (“EI”) has become one of the most popular leadership theories in business. Many claim that it can have significant positive impacts on employee productivity, team cohesion, and overall company success.
Some even say that having high EI is a key factor in being able to manage your own emotions so well that you develop what’s known as “cold dominance.” Being cold dominant means being able to control your reactions even when something upsetting happens. This is very helpful if you work for someone else who makes you feel stressed out or angry sometimes. You would be able to hold onto your calm even when they don’t.
But are all these claims true? And how do we actually measure EI?
To determine whether people with higher EIs are more likely to succeed at their jobs, there needs to be an objective way to measure their performance. There are some tests that try to assess this, but none of them have been shown to be completely accurate.
This article will talk about two different ways to test for emotional quotient (or EQ). These tests look at things like empathy, self-awareness, and regulation of emotion. Some studies find that EQ is related to job success while others find that it’s not. It really depends on the individual and what position they apply themselves in.
It’s impossible to measure your emotional intelligence if you don’t have it in yourself first. You can’t say “I know how to read other people,” unless you understand what reading people is!
You have to be able to decipher whether someone else is happy, sad or angry before you can work out why they are feeling that way.
If you can’t, then you won’t know what actions will make them feel better or worse.
That would be like trying to find a great restaurant without knowing how to cook!
On top of this, most psychologists agree that empathy – understanding what emotions others are experiencing and being able to relate to them- is an important part of emotional intelligence.
So, while some may believe that there is only one factor that makes up EQ, we now know that there are several. There are even tests to determine which ones you have developed, and applications that assess your EQ consistently.
Make eye contact
Looking into someone’s eyes is one of the most powerful ways to connect with them, which is why it is such an important part of human communication. When you make direct eye contact, your body says something about how interested you are in what they have to say and how willing you are to invest time in them.
Direct eye contact isn’t just for people — animals do it as well! For example, when your dog looks at you, he’s trying to tell you that he wants food or playtime.
When you make direct eye contact with someone, you show them that you trust them and believe they can handle strong emotions. This is particularly helpful if you need help resolving a disagreement or coming to terms with a loss.
Making eye contact also helps keep conversations fluid and natural. If you don’t, your conversation may become formal or stilted, which could get boring for both of you.
Most people who test for emotional intelligence use a tool called The Mayer-Johnson Reading Test. This test was designed in 1965 by two psychologists, Robert A. Mayer and John D. Johnson. They created this test to help determine if someone has social skills or not!
The Mayer–Johnson Test looks at whether you can identify emotions in others and then describe those emotions using correct vocabulary. It also asks about how well you regulate your own emotions and what actions make you feel better when you are angry or depressed.
This reading test is very difficult and most people fail it. That’s okay though because there is another way to measure EI!
You don’t have to be as good at identifying and describing emotions, nor do you need to know yourself well, which makes the first part of the test irrelevant. All that matters is if you think about emotion in terms of motivation. And we all want different things from our lives so it makes sense to assume everyone else does too!
That is why the second part of the test isn’t about anything specific, it’s more about understanding other people. People with higher EI understand that being motivated by something external like money is never going to satisfy us, so they try to find ways to motivate us internally – through praise, friendship, and experience.
They believe that changing where our internal motivations come from takes a lot longer than changing external ones, so they work on the later.
Share your experiences
Many people believe that emotional intelligence (or EQ as it is often referred to) comes down to you being more or less compassionate, understanding emotions of others, and having control over your own emotions.
This assumption is false because it ignores an essential part of what makes someone have high levels of EQ – their ability to recognize and understand their own feelings.
Your internal experience of emotion shapes how you relate to and interact with other people, and this can be either positive or negative depending on whether those interactions are productive or not.
So while it’s important to learn about the different types of emotions and why we feel them, knowing yourself emotionally also means learning when to apply these skills and when to avoid them.
You will need to know how you respond to situations in order to succeed in life, so it’s worth investing time into exploring your personal strengths and weaknesses.
Look for the good in others
A large part of emotional intelligence is looking at the world with a level head. You must be able to recognize when other people are being overly dramatic or emotional about something, and you need to be able to understand why they feel the way that they do.
This will help you determine whether their behavior makes sense to you and if it does, what actions you can take next. It also helps you figure out how they could possibly think that your action or inaction would make them feel better.
You have to realize that most people’s actions are motivated by things other than just happiness or sadness. Sometimes it is because they don’t like you, sometimes it is due to personal issues they might not even know about, and sometimes it is simply because they aren’t very smart.
Don’t assume that someone else’s behaviors are always logical unless you understand where they come from. When you do, then you can usually work around their quirks.
Understand your emotions
A major part of emotional intelligence is understanding your own emotions. You will find that most people have a few things they can do very well, and others that seem to get more difficult as you learn about yourself.
It’s been shown that people with higher emotional intelligence are better able to control their negative thoughts and feelings than those who are not. They also use coping strategies such as thinking about what made them feel good in the past or practicing relaxation techniques to calm themselves down.
You may be surprised to discover how much emotion you carry around with you.
Everyone has certain emotions they experience frequently, but some people hold onto theirs longer or make stronger demands on you. For example, someone who loves him/herself might worry more about his/her looks than someone who does not think too highly of himself.
Be honest with your self
This is the most important thing you can do for emotional intelligence. You must be able to look in the mirror and acknowledge your weaknesses. No one else will, so it’s up to you!
It's very easy to get distracted by what you want emotionally out of life and people and to assume that you'll get them because you're more powerful than this. But unless you work on developing your own inner strength, these things may not come to you at all.
You have to recognize that there are some areas where you fall short and work to improve them – and don't expect anyone else to do it for you either. It takes effort and practice but eventually you'll reach a place where you feel confident in yourself and your ability to handle situations.
Be honest with others
When you are trying to measure your emotional intelligence, there is an important thing to remember about how you assess yourself. You must be very clear on what you think of yourself before you can compare that to what other people say about you.
It’s hard enough being aware of your own emotions as it is, so don’t make things more difficult by adding self-judgment to the equation.
Also, because this is a skill that everyone has, it would be easy for someone who doesn’t really feel confident in their EQ to try comparing themselves to you.
So, be sure to take some time to work on your emotional skills outside of our article! There are many different ways to do this, from practicing gratitude to identifying and changing negative patterns.
And while most of us have a general idea of whether we consider ourselves emotionally intelligent or not, asking people about yours may give them new insights.
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