How To Negotiate Using Emotional Intelligence And Effective Communication

Emotions play a major part in our daily lives, whether it’s for the better or worse.

Whether we like it or not, emotions influence us. They can motivate us, distract us, help us make decisions, and they are sometimes what keeps us together.

When you understand how emotions work, you can use them to your advantage. You will know how to control your own emotions and those of others!

This article will go into more detail about how to negotiate using emotional intelligence and effective communication. So, stay tuned and read on. We hope you enjoy reading this article!


Emotions play an important role in negotiations. On one side, you have people who claim that there is no such thing as emotion in negotiation, it is all just business.

On the other hand, researchers agree that negotiators must be conscious of their feelings at some level during conversations. This includes understanding why they feel certain ways about things and being able to recognize when someone else does too.

The good news is that you do not need to learn how to manage your own emotions while negotiating to reach successful agreements. That is something most people already possess subconsciously.

Instead, focus on developing your emotional intelligence (EI) by teaching yourself to recognize and regulate your own emotions. Then apply these lessons to others so that your colleagues, partners, and superiors also learn how to achieve success through emotional regulation.

Make it personal

how to negotiate using emotional intelligence and effective communication

A lot of people think that when you are talking to someone, if they feel your emotional state is higher than theirs, then you have won the conversation, but this isn’t true at all!

If anything, it will only make them dig in their heels even more because now they feel like they don’t matter as much or that you don’t want what they have to offer.

Negotiation is about coming up with a solution everyone can agree upon, which usually means there has to be some kind of compromise somewhere.

So, how do we get past these brick walls? By being aware of our emotions and using effective communication strategies.

Making it personal

We spend a large chunk of time every day interacting with other people, so why not use that knowledge for something good? Even though most may not know this, research shows that people who communicate more tend to reach an agreement faster.

Plus, you would hope that spending time together would build relationships, right? I’m sure you've heard stories of friends or family members that never seem to talk beyond small Talk- about work, sports, or maybe the weather- and then suddenly one of them doesn't speak to each other anymore. It's hard to believe things could get that bad, but sometimes they do.

That's why being able to control your own emotions and keep conversations focused and productive is important.

Be realistic

how to negotiate using emotional intelligence and effective communication

It is very difficult to negotiate with someone that has no intention of changing their stance. If you come across as being too eager, this could backfire and prove detrimental to your efforts.

It takes a lot of self-control to remain calm when you feel like things are going badly for you. When you’re in that state of mind, it can be hard to remember that there may be opportunities to shift the conversation or open up more about what matters to you.

You need to believe that changes are possible before you will try them, so be willing to walk away if you get the sense that nothing is ever going to happen. This way, you won’t waste your time trying to change something that isn’t likely to change anyway.

Be clear

how to negotiate using emotional intelligence and effective communication

A lot of people think that being emotional means yelling or crying, but being emotional actually refers to how you feel. You can be emotionally intelligent by realizing what factors influence your emotions and learning how to manage those feelings.

For example, when someone does something that hurts your relationship with them, you may get very angry. That is normal; it makes sense if you think about it – they hurt you so you should be upset with them!

But if you take some time to evaluate why they did what they did, that may help you tone down your anger.

You may find that they didn’t realize their action would have such an impact on you, or that they thought they were going to do something else later. Or maybe they don’t like you anymore and are trying to hurt you.

Whatever the reason, in the long run it will only make you unhappy. So try to put aside your anger for a while until you understand what happened and work on your relationships.

Listen to them

how to negotiate using emotional intelligence and effective communication

A lot of people have a misconception about what negotiating is. They think it means going back and forth between two individuals talking at each other with very little progress. That cannot be more wrong!

Negotiation is not just listening to someone else and then responding in kind or agreeing with their argument. It’s being aware of who they are, what they want, and figuring out how you can help them get it — by giving up something that you wanted yourself.

This isn’t always easy, but if you use your own wants as a reference, then it becomes much simpler. You’ll know what things matter to you, so you’ll understand why you need to put aside your desire for this item to motivate you to give up another one you want even more.

Using these strategies will make it easier to negotiate, and using emotional intelligence will help you keep track of all the different emotions you’re feeling.

Do not get into an argument

how to negotiate using emotional intelligence and effective communication

A better approach is to focus on solving the problem instead of arguing about it. If you are able to identify a solution that both parties can agree on, then there is no need to argue about it!

Effective negotiating requires listening to what your opponent has to say while at the same time thinking about how you can reach an agreement. This takes empathy and understanding of the other person’s position.

When you win an argument, you got lucky and came up with a well-thought out plan. But when you negotiate, you will probably have to compromise and accept something less than ideal in order to make progress.

You will also have to understand why your counterpart made the decision they did and come to terms with this fact. In doing so, you will learn a lot about them and yourself.

Look for their emotional state

how to negotiate using emotional intelligence and effective communication

One of the most important things you can do in negotiating is look at what has them emotionally invested. What are they trying to achieve? If you cannot determine that, then it is difficult to have meaningful conversation with them.

By this point, you should be able to tell whether or not someone is motivated by money. But how about love? Or fear? When these emotions arise, it becomes more challenging to have productive conversations.

If you find yourself struggling to talk about business matters because your partner gets very angry, passionate or worried every time there is an argument, it may be time to reconsider if this relationship is worth staying in.

Be honest

how to negotiate using emotional intelligence and effective communication

A lot of people think that being honest is a very strong way to negotiate, but this isn’t always the case. Sometimes, it can be more powerful than not being honest at all!

If you are in a situation where you need to talk someone into doing something for you, then don’t offer your true reasons as an excuse for why they shouldn’t.

Instead, offer what reason you want them to do the thing, and add onto that by saying how much you believe they will get from doing it. This may sound like a trick, but it isn’t.

By using this method, you take away the opportunity for them to use their own reasoning process when coming up with their answer. They will either have to accept your argument or reject it, and if they reject it, you win!

There is no middle ground with this approach. If you have to work with others, learn how to manipulate them through emotional intelligence and effective communication.

Connect with them

how to negotiate using emotional intelligence and effective communication

The first thing you need to do in order to negotiate is connect with your potential negotiating partner or partners. If you are having trouble getting along with someone, how can you possibly talk about negotiations?

It’s like trying to have a conversation with someone who doesn’t like cheese. You will be stuck talking about broccoli for hours!

When you're in a bad mood, difficult conversations are almost impossible. That's why it is important to be aware of your emotional state before diving into high-stakes discussions.

By being more conscious of your emotions, you'll have better control over them. And if you learn how to manage your emotions, effective negotiation may become easier.

You can also try taking a break during tough talks to give yourself some time to relax. This helps reset your mind and makes future conversations feel less stressful.

On the other hand, when you are in a good mood, it's easier to have productive conversations. When you're happy, people seem to agree to help you achieve your goals more easily.

In this case, it's easy to ask questions and get answers. Both parties want to contribute and build upon the discussion.

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