How To Raise Emotional Intelligence
Success Quarterly is a tech and business blog that focuses on the intersection of Silicon Valley and Hollywood, including technology, business, mobile, entertainment, media, and related topics.
Raising your emotional intelligence (EI) is like practicing yoga — you have to start with the body before the mind can truly work on it. The same goes for EI!
Your physical health depends on how well your body works, so looking after yourself physically is an important part of raising EI. This includes things such as eating healthy, getting enough sleep, exercising, etc.
Just like people who practice yoga, people with low self-esteem need to work on their confidence. Having high self-confidence makes it easier to trust other people and feel confident in yourself.
This article will go into more detail about some ways to boost your emotional quotient (EQ). It’s best to do these exercises regularly over a period of time to see results.
Raising empathy is also very important when improving one’s EQ. So, we’ll be talking about that next.
It is impossible to raise emotional intelligence if you do not have it yourself. People with high levels of empathy are born, not trained, so trying to develop that skill set is like trying to teach someone how to walk.
Raising your own level of EI takes time, but there are things you can do to help you achieve this. The first step towards improving your EQ is to be aware of what makes you feel good and what makes you feel bad.
This will depend heavily on your personality type, which cannot be determined just from looking at someone else’s.
Treating people with respect is an important part of having higher EQ. When people speak about themselves or others in a way that is negative, try to put these comments into context and see whether they make sense.
If you notice that someone has lost their temper, try to understand why this happened and whether they were right to do so.
Make eye contact
Making direct, meaningful connections with people is one of the most fundamental ways to raise your emotional intelligence (EI). When you make good eye contact, you show someone you care about them, recognize who they are as a person, and understand that they exist beyond yourself.
Good eye contact does not look like you are trying to figure out what color shirt someone is wearing or looking down at the ground. It looks like you have made an effort to focus on the other person, and they matter enough to you that you had to allocate time to connect with them.
When making eye contact, do so slowly and consistently for the same amount of time. The average length of eye contact is around three seconds but some individuals can spend longer than six! This seems very long, but it really shows how important this type of communication is in relationships.
Keeping eyes open wider than normal helps emphasize how important the individual being contacted is to you. A few experts suggest keeping your lids slightly closed which may help prevent omitting any information.
The key thing to remember about eye contact is that it takes place between two people, so ensure that the person receiving the eye contact feels acknowledged and understood.
A lot of people get overwhelmed with all of the different things they should be teaching their kids about emotional intelligence. They feel that if they don’t teach them how to manage their emotions, then it is a wasted effort.
This isn’t true at all!
There are only so many hours in a day and you can’t make every situation better for your children. Sometimes, there will be times when your child will not like or want what you have to say, and that’s okay!
If someone doesn’t agree with you, chances are good that they were not agreeing because they didn’t understand you or what you said, not because you weren’t able to motivate them.
Don’t get discouraged by this, however! You may need to do some research on other topics to see if what you said made sense. Or maybe you just needed to rephrase something to make sure everyone understood you.
Whatever you do, never give up! If one lesson hasn’t worked, try another one until you find one that does work for your kid.
Share your experiences
Likeability is one of the most important traits to have as a person. If you cannot relate to other people, it can be very difficult to gain their trust or sympathy.
If you lack emotional intelligence (EI), then it will be hard for you to connect with others. You might also suffer from low self-confidence because you do not feel that you know what things mean when they are spoken to you.
Sharing stories and experiences is an excellent way to develop your empathy. When you listen to someone else’s story, you are sharing in them and understanding how they felt at such and such a time. This helps you identify with them and gives you insight into why they may have reacted like they did.
By listening to these stories, you learn about yourself too. By identifying with those who have gone through similar situations, you realize just how much you share similarities with them. This brings up some strong emotions which help you understand yourself more.
Reading personal essays, watching documentaries, and talking about life and death scenarios are all great ways to test your EI.
Be honest with your peers
When you're in school, it is very easy to feel like everyone around you is your friend or at least someone that you can count on. This perception of people often times does not match up with the reality of individuals' behaviors outside of the classroom.
It seems like every person in this world has something they want, so how could anyone be friends with just one person? It takes more than just being friendly to make authentic friendships.
By now, you've probably seen some pictures or videos of students walking through their schools with guns. Some are even carrying around ammunition! These are serious weapons that have been used for hurt and death.
There's an epidemic happening in our country where students use firearms as tools to learn emotional intelligence (EI).
Listen to others closely
A lot of parents get so focused on getting their kids into the best school, finding them appropriate after-school activities, and making sure they are meeting social demands that they forget how important it is to listen to other people.
As parents, we often feel like we’re running out of time as we try to meet our obligations. After work, we scramble to pick up the kids from activity after hours, make dinner, do homework, and then hit the bed at night. Add in all of the things you have to do as a parent – organizing play dates, lesson planning, picking up toys, going to doctor appointments, etc… and there isn’t much left over for listening.
Raising children with high emotional intelligence (EI) requires learning how to listen. It takes effort, but this will pay off in the long run by helping your child develop self-confidence, communication skills, and empathy.
Don’t be egotistical
One of the most important things that can hinder your emotional intelligence is being too focused on yourself. It is easy to get carried away thinking about all of the wonderful achievements you have made, or how much people admire you. But there are so many other lives in this world!
If you put some effort into improving your emotional quotient, I am sure you will see great results. You will feel happier, more relaxed, and better able to control your emotions. And you will enjoy these benefits more than you would if you were not emotionally intelligent.
Don’t focus only on your own personal success – help others succeed as well! Build up your self-confidence by acting with confidence, and educating yourself about mental health.
And while it may sound clichéd, try to look outside yourself for inspiration. Read successful books and blogs, and watch successful movies and TV shows.
By learning from others’ experiences, you could also find new ways to apply what makes you happy and learn something new about yourself at the same time.
It’s impossible to raise someone else's emotional intelligence (EI) if you don't understand your own. You have to be conscious of your emotions before you can help others work through their feelings.
This is another reason why it is important to recognize your weaknesses and take steps to fix them. If you struggle with anger, for example, then don’t get upset by things that happen because chances are, you said or done something earlier that triggered this feeling.
By being aware of your emotions, you will know when they're out of control and what needs to be addressed about yourself.
Also, remember that EI isn’t some sort of superpower that people who have low self-esteem lack. Most highly emotionally intelligent individuals were brought up in homes where they received little praise and support.
So, developing your emotional literacy won’t make you feel better about yourself; it'll just give you more tools to do so.