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As we discussed, emotional intelligence (or EQ as it is often referred to) is a skill that everyone needs, but not every person has. This makes it very important to teach this quality to our children. Research shows that kids with high levels of empathy are less likely to engage in bullying behavior, are more […]
As we discussed, emotional intelligence (or EQ as it is often referred to) is a skill that everyone needs, but not every person has. This makes it very important to teach this quality to our children.
Research shows that kids with high levels of empathy are less likely to engage in bullying behavior, are more socially competent, strive to be honest, and relate well to others. They also tend to have better self-esteem and are happier overall than those who do not.1
Given how prevalent social problems such as bullying are today, teaching your child about emotion comes at an interesting time. Luckily, there are many ways you can help them develop their emotional literacy.
Here are some tips for doing just that. You may also want to read my article: 7 Powerful Ways To Help Your Kids Become More Moral People.
While emotional intelligence is important for adults, teaching your child how to manage their emotions can be tricky. This is especially true if you look at young children who are just learning how to control themselves.
At this stage of development, they do not understand why they should try to contain their anger or put aside their frustrations.
They may also struggle with understanding what makes someone feel bad or happy. It is therefore very important to teach them about emotion as early in life as possible.
This is where having an appropriate level of emotional intelligence comes into play. You want your child to learn how to recognize their own feelings and those of others so that they can then take action and solve the problem.
It is good to start encouraging these skills at a young age, however, it will take repeated attempts before they really come to fruition. That’s okay!
Parents can help by using different strategies to inspire emotional literacy in kids. Fun games and activities are great ways to get started.
As mentioned before, teaching emotional intelligence is like teaching any other skill. You will not see results unless you work at it consistently every day.
It’s easy to start educating your child about social skills in the classroom or during play dates, but what if they don’t seem to learn from you the next time you have contact with them?
They may be able to tell that you are angry with their behavior, but they probably won’t know why! They may also never see you both together after the incident, making it harder for them to apply what you just taught them.
These situations can easily create more problems than solving the initial one, which is why it is so important to teach these things outside of the home.
Schools offer many opportunities for kids to hone their social-emotional learning, and most offer programs and courses for teens and even adults. There are often groups or classes designed specifically to help students improve their relationships or learn how to manage stress.
If your school doesn’t have anything like this available, try talking to your local university or college and seeing whether there are any courses being offered to the public. Many people now pay money to take online courses, and you could do the same by searching YouTube or looking at our website here at The Family Home (ourself-help section has lots of tips!).
A major factor in developing emotional intelligence is being aware of what’s happening around you.
This includes paying attention to other people, their behaviors, and how they are affecting others. It also means listening to what people say and understanding why they say it.
By using your senses (your eyes, ears, nose, tongue, hands, and skin), you can get a sense of whether someone is happy, sad, angry or concerned. You can also tell when something doesn’t make sense to them and why.
You donllt necessarily need to know what everyone else is feeling, but if you could recognize his or her emotions, then you would have some clue as to who they are and what makes them feel that way.
If you’re ever confused about what someone is thinking, ask! They may be willing to explain things to you. – Kids will appreciate that you asked about how they were feeling, instead of just assuming everything was okay.
It’s also important to remember that feelings change, even for adults. We all lose track of our emotions at times, especially during stressful situations.
But we should learn from these experiences, and hopefully apply lessons onto future situations. For example, if someone did something hurtful to you, try to put aside your anger for a little while until you can talk to them without becoming too upset.
The second major thing that parents can do to help their children develop emotional intelligence is to demonstrate how emotions work for you.
As mentioned earlier, being able to identify your own feelings and those of other people is an important part of developing emotion regulation.
Parents should be very familiar with their own feelings so they know what things trigger them. This helps in avoiding overreactions or even tears because you’ve been stressed out before and learned something about yourself.
For example, if your child was annoying you the other day, try thinking about all the times he has done nothing but show love to you. Then ask yourself why you are feeling angry now?
By knowing your own emotions well, you will be better at predicting others’ behavior, which is another key factor in helping your kids learn self-control.
While it is great to aim high, that can be a problem if you don’t have the resources to reach that goal. If you want your child to learn how to manage his or her emotions, you must first address their own emotional needs.
If you are not sure where to start, ask yourself what kind of person does not handle stress well. Then, see if those traits apply to you.
It may help to recognize some of these signs of low emotional control:
Irresponsible spending habits
Arguing frequently with people around you
Becoming easily angered
Being intolerant of others who seem different from you
Problems in relationships and family life
Withholding love and affection from loved ones
Throwing tantrums for no reason
Some of these symptoms could indicate other health conditions, but they all contribute to one thing: lack of self-control.
This is an important skill to develop at any age, but especially during early childhood when children need guidance on how to deal with feelings.
Sometimes parents get so focused on helping their child be successful that they avoid setting limits or being direct with them. Parents who struggle with this make things harder for your children.
When you are in a situation where your child is not acting like they should, they may need your help figuring out what they can do next.
This could include talking to your child, taking away privileges, putting them in new settings, or even asking them to leave home.
By being clear and direct about how your child should behave, you will give them the tools to deal with these situations. This also helps your child learn how to manage their emotions and relate to others.
There is an easy way to teach emotional intelligence – by being aware of your own emotional skills. When someone does something that makes you feel bad, it is important to recognize why you felt that way and then choose whether to repeat the behavior or not.
If you are constantly negative, it can have an adverse effect on your child’s emotional intelligence. Children may feel pressured into acting in ways that match what you believe is appropriate or correct.
Children who learn how to manage their emotions grow up to be healthy adults with good relationships. They understand other people’s feelings and try to help them work through any issues they might be having.
Optimism is one of the most important qualities for developing emotional intelligence. It helps you believe in and depend on yourself and others.
It also creates hope for the future. Kids see you as someone who has faith in themselves and things around them. This inspires them to do the same.
If possible, aim to be optimistic about everything – not just things that go well. Talk about difficult situations with an upbeat tone. Ask yourself if there’s something you could do to make the situation better.
Developing emotional intelligence is like developing any other skill—it’s something that comes with practice, and you have to work at it consistently. But there are some things you can do to help your child develop their EQ skills in the early stages.
First, make sure your kid sees you interacting with people — talking to strangers, having social interactions, greeting people when they come into the house or room. This will influence how they perceive others and what kind of behaviors seem acceptable to them.
Second, ask questions about things that interest your kids. If they tell you that someone was nice to them, ask if they know why they were being nice. Was it because they wanted something from them? Were they trying to win their trust?
If you notice signs of anxiety, such as nervousness, tiggers, sweating, or rapid breathing, try to identify what might be causing these symptoms for your children.
