Howdy! A Portland, OR native, I currently reside in the northern San Diego County area as a freelance writer. When I'm not sipping coffee, soaking up some rays and writing or playing guitar you can find me at the hot yoga studio.
Cheating is difficult because if a man is cheating on you with someone else, that other person doesn’t know they are just as committed to you as you are to them.
But the great thing about the internet is that men are communicating directly with one another about all things hookup-related, and how they want to do it.
Cheating is no longer hidden and consigned to rumor mills.
It’s the equivalent of your new friend offering to sell you a ring with a big rock on it.
You’re so taken aback that you have a panic attack, and go home to your parents.
It sounds harsh, but if your man is cheating on you, it’s almost certain that he’s getting laid somewhere else.
It might be with his mistress, it might be with another mistress, but it’s going on, and it’s hard to fake the signs.
Even people who say they think they’re good at reading other people can be blinded by a nice body or a cute smile.
The problem with being a woman is that you get your feelings hurt way more easily.
That’s why we were all getting upset when Melania Trump said her husband wasn’t a dog, and then looked like a fat, angry chipmunk when he stomped out of her photo op at the National Prayer Breakfast.
And that’s why many women don’t have the first clue when a man is a cheating cad.
Let’s face it, a lot of men do like to cheat. The odds of a man getting it up to have sex with another woman are way higher than it is to have sex with his own girlfriend.
That’s why even the most level-headed woman’s reaction to the news of a man cheating is defensive, “Why would he do that to me?”
As a guy, it’s your responsibility to notice whether or not you are doing more work in your relationship than your partner is.
If your girlfriend is disappointed in you and you’re not happy about that, you need to get in there and set things straight.
The same goes for when a man is cheated on.
If he’s mad that his partner is feeling worse about him cheating than he does about his cheating, it’s your job to comfort your man and listen to his woes.
So let’s say you suspect your partner is cheating.
You’re in no mood to play games or be chummy.
He’s about to do something he knows you won’t want, and that makes you mad.
Not a happy camper. As a matter of fact, this whole business might be exactly the reason you’ve been upset for months.
It’s time to end things.
It’s much better for both of you if you confront him calmly, and leave your emotions at the door.
Don’t scream or cuss him out, but leave your true feelings at the door and talk about the problem in a level-headed way.
If he’s got some huge secret he’s been hiding, he might freak out, so let’s say you ask him point-blank if he’s cheating on you, and he denies it.
That’s totally fine. You don’t have to react the way you normally would.
It’s your responsibility to be calm and rational. You may be mad, but that’s a small part of the problem.
The real problem is that you’re so involved in your emotions that you’re missing what’s really going on.
The truth is, a guy is just as likely to cheat as you are.
That’s why you need to go through the anger, disappointment, and shock, and put it away, and focus on the practical aspects of the situation.
What do you want to do about this situation? Do you want to leave him?
Do you want to hold on to him? Do you want to go back to being friends?
Ask yourself those questions, and figure out what would be best.
After you’ve made those decisions, you’ll feel more empowered to confront him.
There’s a time for confrontation and a time for emotions, but you must leave your emotions at the door and get down to business.
Whether you want to go back to being friends or have your affair becomes public, your actions will speak a lot louder than your feelings.
Most of us who date in the modern world don’t have the luxury of time to waste.
Every minute we wait can be seen as an eternity, because the truth is, there’s no such thing as eternal love.
When you confront him, it’s time to have a clear, calm, and level head.
That’s when you can get the answers you’re looking for.
Don’t let your emotions get in the way. Calm down, breathe, and talk with him.
Not everyone you confront is going to agree with you, and that’s fine.
The important thing is to not get into an argument with someone who’s about to betray you.
If you lose your temper or let your emotions get the best of you, that’s the moment your relationship will be ruined.
You need to stay calm and always listen to what he’s saying.