How To Tell A Girl How You Got Her Number
Howdy! A Portland, OR native, I currently reside in the northern San Diego County area as a freelance writer. When I'm not sipping coffee, soaking up some rays and writing or playing guitar you can find me at the hot yoga studio.
If the girl you are talking to does not look like her picture then don't assume she wants to talk to you.
Don't make assumptions. You should talk to the girl you are talking to as she talks to you.
When you talk to a girl try to talk to her about what she likes, not what you like.
A great way to get a girl interested in you is to ask her to do something with you.
If the girl says she does not like something then ask her what she does like and do the same thing.
Show some interest in what she likes so you can take the conversation in the direction you both want it to go.
It's important to take your time. If you rush things you will end up losing her.
Take your time to listen to her and show her that you care. Don't be selfish in what you want to get from a girl.
If a girl wants to give you her number, there are a few ways you can do it. But in some situations, it’s best to avoid it altogether.
So why is it best to avoid it?
Let’s break it down.
Getting her number, for a variety of reasons, is a big deal.
It could mean that she’s already in a relationship. It could mean that she’s not really into you.
She could be into another guy. She could be into you, but she has her current boyfriend’s number.
“What I’m trying to tell you, man, is that when a girl gives you her number, she’s telling you,” says Chris Godfrey, author of I Got Her Number. “In the end, you want to be the one that has it and she doesn’t.”
Also, if a girl doesn’t want to give you her number, “it’s not really fair to be chasing her down and begging for it,” says Sophie Holmes, dating expert for Pozible.
Here are reasons why you should avoid the number-getting approach.
It makes you sound desperate
If you tell a girl you asked her out and she rejects your request, you can easily read it as being desperate.
“Do you think the girl would tell you that she didn’t give you her number because she had a boyfriend and it was none of your business?” says Holmes. “She gave you her number because she wanted to.”
It makes you look desperate.
It also puts the ball in her court, which only adds to the feeling that she’s not interested. “That’s also a sense of the opposite of confidence,” says Holmes.
She’s giving you the chance to ask for her number, but you’re choosing not to. “Don’t be like: ‘Oh, sorry, I already asked for your number.'” says Holmes. “No, ask for it and give her a yes or no.”
It makes you look desperate.
If she says no, you’ll feel like she gave you the chance to ask her and she rejected you. “You just look desperate and like you’re not confident and you’re going through all this trouble when you could have just asked for it,” says Holmes.
So instead of asking, leave her number blank and then ask her out at a later date.
It makes you look like a hound.
“This isn’t an investigative mission. If you got the number, there’s nothing to find,” says Holmes. “You can even ask the girl if she gave you her number and she’ll be like ‘yes’ and then that’s all there is to it.”
You look like a pushy hound if you “push the girl to give you her number,” says Holmes. “Don’t be like: ‘Oh, my god, I have to ask her now.'”
It makes you look like a pest.
“They won’t even remember giving you her number if it was [a] one-night stand. Just ask for it. You’ll be fine,” says Holmes.
It doesn’t make you look trustworthy.
While you might want to ask her out, “asking for the girl’s number is just asking for trouble,” says Holmes. “If she’s not feeling it, she’ll just tell you so there’s no benefit.”
So instead of asking for her number, you should offer something in exchange for her
It also lets her know that you have no game.
“Do you really want a girl that just gives you her number because she doesn’t really care?” says Holmes. “It’s the girl’s number and you can’t even get her number? What a coward.”
It doesn’t give her confidence.
Even if she gives you her number and you end up getting it, you’re still not exactly considered a player.
“If she’s the type of girl to give you her number, she thinks of you as a pushover,” says Holmes. “You’re just another guy and she doesn’t have that strong of an image of you.”
It makes you look like a mess.
“If it was a one-night stand, she’s probably going to tell her friends about you and make a mental note that you’re a pushover and have no game,” says Holmes.
Even if she’s not going to tell her friends that, you probably shouldn’t ask for her number at all.