Howdy! A Portland, OR native, I currently reside in the northern San Diego County area as a freelance writer. When I'm not sipping coffee, soaking up some rays and writing or playing guitar you can find me at the hot yoga studio.
I would be worried if you just outright tell her that you don't like her.
You don't want to scare her or make her think you're the asshole who ruins all her fun.
You want to avoid hurting her feelings, but you also want to do things that are mature and not dickish.
I guess the best way to approach this is to start by saying that you're not sure how she feels about you.
"You like me a lot," or something like that is the best way to start the conversation.
You're hoping she'll push you away to spare your feelings, but she'll probably do the opposite.
If she actually likes you, she'll push you away. You'll be forced to say you're not interested.
If she doesn't like you, you won't have to say it out loud. Just being clear that you're not interested in her would be enough.
You might ask if there's someone else she could like instead of you.
When she acts as she likes you, just accept her flirty ways for what they are.
Don't return the flirting. A girl who's flirty with you probably means she's interested in you.
You're just a flirty target for her.
It's also important to remember that being flirty is in her personality.
It's a part of her identity. If she's used to flirting with her male friends, then why shouldn't she flirt with you?
There's nothing wrong with that. It's more of a flaw to assume that all girls are flirty or that flirting is an automatic response to you being interested.
If she can't keep up the flirtations when she starts hanging out with you, then you'll have to deal with the "I'm not that into you" speech.
That's one thing you should accept for what it is. She might like you, she might not.
It's her choice. You can't push her away because you think she's playing games.
If you do that, you'll only hurt her feelings.
If you ever feel you're being flirted with inappropriately, like while you're waiting in line to use the bathroom, just tell her that you don't want to flirt with her.
Maybe you can just avoid her altogether. It's okay to tell her no.
The only thing you can do here is to try and figure out why she likes you in the first place.
If you do, you'll be able to understand her behavior and make sure that she doesn't do anything that hurts you.
Now, I know this sounds like a dick move, but you should make it clear to her that you're not interested.
If she's flirting, then it's okay to tell her that you don't want to flirt.
Saying something like "That's not my thing," or "It's inappropriate" is fine.
If she can't take that, she'll be able to understand that you're not into it.
If she can't accept that, you can't be together.
It's up to you to make sure she doesn't see that as your rejection of her, but just as you're comfortable talking to girls who flirt with you, you can accept that girls who flirt with you aren't looking for something more.
Sometimes you'll run into a girl who just seems nice, even though you know there's something more going on.
There's a good chance she thinks you're just a friend.
She probably is a good friend. But there's still something going on, and she's going to keep you guessing.
You'll probably never know what. But this one should be easy.
There are three things you can do about this girl:
Tell her you to want more, and give her a time limit to show her you want it.
Give her a chance to say something and see if she can prove to you that she's not interested in being more.
If she doesn't try, move on.
She's likely nice to you because you're a nice guy, and she doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
I'd try to be nicer to her, but that's not the best way to solve this problem.
The best thing you can do about this problem is to confront her, but don't overthink it.
Have an honest conversation about what you want and what she wants.
When you know what she wants, then you can make a move.
Give her some time to think about what she wants.
Most girls are going to want what you want, which is a relationship with a woman who's not her mom.
But that's not always true. If she doesn't act in a way that says she wants to be more with you, then walk away.
No matter how nice she is, no matter how much you might like her, she's not available.
She just isn't. Don't make it more complicated than it needs to be.
You can either do this via text or meet up with her. Just don't try to figure this out via an online dating site, eHarmony, or Facebook. Don't worry about what her reaction is. If she reacts negatively, you can walk away.
If she doesn't react negatively, then you can do this over coffee or at her place.
You're the man, and if she wants more, you'll know it. You should know it.
Once you know what she wants, then you can give her an answer.