How To Test Emotional Intelligence
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People who have high emotional intelligence are not easily provoked or discouraged by events. They seem more calm and in control of their emotions, even during difficult times. These individuals tend to prioritize relationships over tasks, and they perceive things from other people’s points of views rather than their own.
They are also aware of how others feel around them and try to influence those feelings for better or worse. In fact, it is considered an asset if you can recognize someone else’s mood and use that information to help them be happier or less stressed out.
Emotional intelligence (EI) has been studied extensively because researchers think it may play a significant role in success in life. For example, studies show that people with higher EI are likely to achieve goals and succeed in work, friendship, family relations, and other areas of their lives.
However, research also shows that some people might believe that they have high EI when, in reality, they do not. This could negatively affect your mental health.
If you worry about your emotional intelligence, there are several ways to assess your level of empathy, self-awareness, regulation, motivation, and relationship skills. You can also learn how to improve these parts of your emotional intelligence.
This article will talk about three easy strategies to test your emotional intelligence.
It is impossible to test emotional intelligence unless you are willing to be emotionally touched or affected by something. You have to show an effect on you so that you can assess how well someone handles their emotions.
If you don’t, you won’t get very much information. People may try hard to seem like they aren’t feeling anything, but there are many things people don’t realize they’re trying to hide.
For example, when someone else experiences a particularly strong emotion, they might notice that person avoiding eye contact or putting some distance between themselves and what made them feel that way.
That could mean the loved one will eventually leave, it could mean staying longer, but either way, it isn’t helpful for your relationship. If you both need time apart, you should discuss whether this is really the right thing to do before you actually break up.
You wouldn’t want to force someone into a relationship if they weren’t ready, and the same goes for leaving someone who doesn’t deserve your attention.
Make eye contact
A large part of emotional intelligence is being able to read other people’s emotions. This can be tricky, because not all emotions seem like they come from within. Some are clearly externalized — things such as anger or fear – but others seem more internal.
One of the most basic ways to test your emotional intelligence is by looking into another person's eyes. It may sound weird, but it works!
Making direct eye contact takes away some of the distractions in the form of body language that might otherwise cloud what you're trying to assess.
If someone is crying, for example, their body will likely show lots of signs of discomfort. But if they have good enough control over themselves to make direct eye contact, then those signals are erased. They'll see there's genuine pain behind the tears, and thus try harder to help alleviate it.
Direct eye contact isn't just important when someone else is crying either; it works even better when they appear happy.
Most people who test their emotional intelligence use quick, easy tools that seem flashy or cool. What most people don’t realize is that these tests measure something superficial — how well you can fake it.
Emotional intelligence isn’t about acting like a fool when someone gets mad at you or pretending that you aren’t hurt when your friend breaks up with you. It’s being able to recognize and understand your own emotions so you can address them more effectively.
Real emotional intelligence doesn’t make you feel good about yourself; it makes you feel bad for having done things that made you unhappy. But it also helps you do things to make yourself happier.
That may sound obvious, but too many people think they have control over their emotions so they never look for ways to improve what qualities they lack.
If you want to know if you have solid emotional intelligence, try looking outside of yourself for some answers. Read other people’s diaries and talk to others about whether you seem emotionally intelligent.
You might be surprised by the results.
Sit with anxiety
Many people have a tendency to try to control their emotions, trying to not get angry or excited about something. This is typically done through suppression of your emotion, which only makes it stronger and more powerful.
Emotions are a part of us. They help motivate us and inspire action. By ignoring yours or suppressing them, you can stop doing certain things because you don’t feel like it.
But this doesn’t work very well in the long run. You may eventually explode or burn out from all the suppressed energy.
Other ways to reduce stress include practicing relaxation exercises and understanding what causes emotional distress for you so that you can avoid those things.
However, no matter how hard you try to relax yourself, there will always be some kind of challenge or situation that sets off a response in you.
That’s why it's important to recognize your emotions and what triggers them. Your sense of self-awareness as a person impacts your quality of life significantly.
Be honest with your self
This is one of the most important things you can do as a person trying to improve your emotional intelligence. You must be honest with yourself about how you perceive emotions in others and whether those perceptions are accurate.
If there’s something you feel you need to work on, don’t pretend it doesn’t exist. Don’t tell yourself lies about what people mean when they look at you or say goodbye.
Become aware of how your behaviors influence other people’s emotions. For example, if you tend to walk away when someone looks upset, that will likely make them even more depressed.
On the contrary, if you try to put up a front no matter what state anyone else is in, this could backfire and hurt their feelings.
Your internal experiences and beliefs may also play a part in why you think certain things are seen as negative by others. If these differences arise from past events, chances are you’re carrying some baggage around which might be obscuring your view of the world.
Take time out to reflect on how you perceive and respond to situations. Work on being less influenced by your own thoughts and feelings and focus instead on what other people are going through.
Be honest with others
Testing your emotional intelligence doesn’t require any specific tests, but if you’re looking to improve your EQ, then here are some tips for being more aware of what makes other people feel good or bad.
It is important to be able to recognize when someone is feeling down and why they are feeling that way. It can help you avoid arguments by acknowledging their feelings before they do.
Likewise, it will help you identify potential problems early so you can take action to prevent things from going too far.
On the contrary, if you cannot stop talking about how much you hate your job, maybe it’s time to look into new opportunities. You may need to reconsider whether this career path is right for you.
Don’t be egotistical
One of the biggest barriers to testing emotional intelligence (EI) is people who try to test themselves by answering questions about their own emotions or those of others. This approach can backfire because it puts your perception of yourself in the spotlight, which may not be a good thing.
By asking yourself questions about how you feel about something, you are actually assessing your level of empathy for other people. But if you're too focused on your feelings, then you won't appreciate the things that make someone else happy for no reason other than they just happened to like them.
You would also miss out on the fact that some people seem to have mastered the art of motivating and influencing others. A lot of successful leaders understand human psychology and use it as one of their most powerful tools.
So while thinking about your own feelings and experiences can help develop your self-awareness and understanding of yourself, trying to apply this to people outside of you might hurt your relationships more than it helps them.
When you are trying to test emotional intelligence, it is important to be aware of your own limitations. You can’t simply take someone else's test and find out if they have high emotional quotient (EQ) or not.
Your EQ tests should be tailored to assess your personal strengths and weaknesses, as well as those of others.
You shouldn't assume that just because someone seems highly emotionally stable and in control all the time that they don’t experience strong emotions.
Everyone has their breaking points and for some people these break very quickly, while for other people this may take longer. We're also all different at showing our feelings so what one person might consider being controlled could make another feel like things are getting too close.
By being conscious of your own limits when testing for emotional IQ, you will more accurately identify whether someone else has a low level of emotion management or not.