How To Use Emotional Intelligence In Relationships
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Over the past few years, emotional intelligence (or EQ as it is commonly referred to) has become very popular. Many claim that having higher levels of EQ is an important factor in creating happy relationships and marriages.
Some even say that people with high EQ are more likely to achieve success than those without it. As such, there have been many books, seminars, and courses devoted to helping individuals develop their EQ skills.
Many employers now require employees to take an EQ test before being considered for employment. And some colleges offer certification or degree programs in developing your EQ.
However, what most experts agree on is that improving your EQ isn’t actually easy. It takes work, practice, and effort over time. This can be difficult because often times we don’t get rewarded for doing things that make us feel good.
So how do you improve something that feels good while also making you feel better? That is the key to changing your EQ.
In this article, I will talk about some ways to use your emotional IQ in relationships. You will learn how to recognize and manage your own emotions, as well as other peoples’. You will also learn how to ask for what you want from others and give them what they need from you.
When you are waiting for someone to make a move, have some faith that they will!
Become more conscious of your emotions so that you can recognize when things start to become less calm. If you notice yourself getting angry or frustrated, take a break and do something else to reset.
This could be going out for a walk, doing an activity you’ve been practicing for hours, reading a book, talking to a friend, or anything that takes your mind off of whatever is making you feel uncomfortable.
Give yourself time to recover before trying again, but don’t give up! Keep trying, because it really does help!
Remember, if there's one thing we've learned, it's that people aren't always willing to invest their energy in relationships. It may take a little bit more effort than just saying hello today, but investing in friendship right now is like buying a pair of shoes; you know what they look good on and they're comfortable, but sometimes you need to wait for those perfect shoes that match with YOUR clothes and bounce lightly as you run.
Make eye contact
Making direct, meaningful connections with people is one of the most important things you can do as person trying to build relationships. When we look away from someone, we often don’t feel connected to them.
When we make direct eye contact, we show our interest in who they are and what they have to say. We come together over something that we both agree on — I like this movie so let’s watch it!
We develop rapport when we connect about commonalities – such as likes and dislikes, experiences, or thoughts. By being aware of these similarities, we can contribute by bringing up related topics or even sharing stories from similar situations.
Making eye contact is an easy way to start building relationships. Once you get the hang of it, you can add some more advanced behaviors like using silence or listening to help others work through their emotions.
A lot of theories about emotional intelligence focus too much on having strong emotions, which is great for someone who feels overwhelmed with their own feelings. However, this can be very damaging if your partner doesn’t feel that you're able to regulate your emotions.
Some people have trouble regulating their emotions because they’re not aware of what makes them get into a bad mood or why they might be irritable. This is totally normal!
If your partner notices that you’ve been putting more pressure on yourself to show how emotional you are, then it may help to discuss some strategies for better regulation.
You could also ask whether there's something going on at work, or at home, that is contributing to stress. It's important to acknowledge these things so that you don't put even more pressure on yourself. Having these conversations helps reduce tension and brings back balance.
Share your feelings
A big part of emotional intelligence is knowing when it’s okay to be more vulnerable with someone else.
It’s not about being fake or acting like nothing bothers you, but instead sharing things that matter to you.
For example, if you care about something deeply then let them know how much they mean to you. If you want to stay together then work on fixing what isn’t working for you and give each other space while you do so.
If there's one thing we've learned, it's that relationships take work.
Be honest with your partner
It is very important that you are always being truthful with your significant other. If you feel like something has gone too far, say so!
If there’s ever a time when you need to walk away, then do it with full confidence. You will be walking away for a good reason, and not because you were wronged.
By saying what you want before doing it, you take responsibility for your actions. This takes some of the blame off of them and onto yourself.
Don’t expect someone who has emotional intelligence to read your emotions – but if they do, they may find reasons why you seem angry or hurt.
This could help you work through your feelings more quickly. They might even realize how to prevent things from getting out of hand in future.
Understand your partner
A major component of healthy relationships is understanding your partner. This includes knowing what types of behaviors are attractive, what makes them laugh, what clothes they like, how they likes their food, and so on.
Become aware of how you interact with people and apply that knowledge to yourself. If you want someone else’s approval, put in the effort to understand them.
Understand who they are as a person and what makes them feel good or bad. When you do these things for them, it will bring a smile to their face and make them feel appreciated.
Try asking about something important to you and listen to their answers. Don’t interrupt unless asked, but be sure to weigh in once they have finished talking.
Give each other some space and acknowledge when there has been a mistake made, agree to disagree and move forward. Avoid power struggles by being honest and clear about expectations.
Be able to recognize signs of emotional instability and try not to take those mood swings too seriously. Some days may seem off while others can be hard to deal with, but remember that no one is perfect!
Take breaks from the relationship if necessary and save this piece for later if needed. You both deserve happiness and whatever steps need to be taken to get back into a place where love grows must be done properly.
Be a good listener
A big part of being able to use your emotional intelligence in relationships is being a good listener. When you are listening to someone, you should give them their full attention. You should not look at your phone or talk about other things while they speak.
When you listen to someone, you should try to understand what they say by asking questions that relate back to what they said. You also need to be aware of non-verbal clues such as body language.
If you feel that something doesn’t make sense, ask more questions or offer your opinion. Never assume anything though!
By using your emotional intelligence, you will learn how to connect with others and help them feel relaxed and comfortable.
Don’t be the person who always has to be right
Being “right” is not a quality that will win you or lose you in relationships. If someone thinks they are always right, then they will probably feel hurt and rejected when you do things differently than them.
They might even start thinking that you don’t like them as much because their opinion differs from theirs. Or maybe they think you are more interested in achieving your goals and moving forward with your life than they are.
If this sounds familiar, it may be time to evaluate whether you need to work on your emotional intelligence. You can try practicing self-awareness, understanding other people’s emotions, respecting differences of opinions, and being able to negotiate and compromise.