How To Use Emotional Intelligence In Relationships

When it comes down to it, humans are emotional beings. We feel emotions and we use those feelings to motivate us into action or stop us from action depending on what situation we’re in.

We all have different levels of emotional intelligence (EI). Some people seem to be more emotionally intelligent than others but no one is completely without emotion.

However, having higher EI can make a big difference when it comes to relationships. You see, being able to recognize your own emotions and those of others and how they influence you and each other helps keep the relationship healthy.

You will probably know some very passionate individuals who cannot control their anger even for a minute. They may also never seem to truly enjoy something unless they are totally invested in it.

These types of personalities are not necessarily bad but if you do not learn how to manage your own emotions then things could get out of hand really quickly.

That would not only affect yourself but also potentially hurt someone else. Therefore, it is important to develop your emotional intelligence.

Not just for romantic relationships but for work as well. In fact, research has shown that high EI is linked to greater job performance and satisfaction.

Have patience

how to use emotional intelligence in relationships

A lot of people get stuck in a pattern where they repeat certain behaviors over and over again. For example, if your partner always is late for an important meeting, you may begin to come at 8 AM every morning instead of leaving earlier.

If your friend comes home drunk every night, you may keep buying him drinks or even let him stay overnight to prevent him from going home alone. This can eventually add up to a problem unless you work on changing his behavior.

People who use alcohol and other substances often times feel that it makes them relax, so they use more of it. In their case, this subconsciously makes them want to drink more. Using emotional intelligence will help you recognize these signs and what actions need to be taken.

It will also help you understand why someone acts like they do and how to fix it. While it may not change what they do immediately, using EI will strengthen your relationship down the road.

Make eye contact

how to use emotional intelligence in relationships

Making direct eye contact with someone is a great way to show them that you care about what they are doing or saying. It’s also a powerful way to connect with people, as it can be a fundamental part of human communication.

When making eye contact, don’t just stare at your partner, look directly into their eyes! This kind of contact takes time to develop so try to have a short pause before looking deeply into each other’s eyes.

Once you have made the appropriate amount of eye contact, keep talking! Don’t break the gaze until you have spoken for several minutes! Breaking this connection will make your partners feel ignored and unimportant.

Try establishing some casual small talk first, but if you feel more connected then move onto something deeper. Having a conversation after making an effort to connect will boost your own self-confidence and emotional state.

Be realistic

how to use emotional intelligence in relationships

A lot of theories about emotional intelligence focus heavily on having strong emotions, which is totally fine, but they often seem like they’re telling you to feel more or don’t feel enough. That isn’t practical, especially if you're trying to maintain an already close relationship.

If your significant other doesn't make an effort to avoid touching you when you want some space, then expecting them to suddenly be able to identify and regulate their own feelings is going to put a strain on that trust.

On the other hand, if they consistently show signs of low self-esteem, it can also hurt your perception of them as an individual. You may not like what they say or how they treat people, but at least they believe in themselves somewhere inside.

Share your feelings

how to use emotional intelligence in relationships

It is very important that you know what makes your partner feel good and unhappy. This will help you understand their behavior better and, more importantly, they’ll learn how to do the same for you.

By knowing this, you can start sharing your emotions with them so that they can respond accordingly. For example, if your loved one made you angry, let them know by saying “That really hurt my feeling. I am going to try to relax now.” or “I was just thinking about our next vacation destination, and you made me sad.”

The key here is to be honest but not aggressive. If you are able to say why you are upset, then that helps your relationship.

It also shows respect for your significant other because it demonstrates that you take time to listen and understand their needs.

Be honest with your partner

how to use emotional intelligence in relationships

It’s easy to assume that because of who you are, what you own, and what you have achieved that your partner will always believe in you. But no one is able to agree on everything, even when they’re looking into each other’s eyes as love letters.

So, how can you use emotional intelligence to strengthen your relationship? First things first: be honest!

Understand your emotions and why you feel a certain way about something or someone

Don’t try to hide them — acknowledge them instead. For example, if you’re feeling hurt, ask yourself what you did to cause this emotion and whether there are any reasons beyond their actions which made you feel that way.

If you find it difficult to do this, then at least acknowledge how you felt and take some time to work through those feelings before trying to put the situation back together.

Listen to your partner

how to use emotional intelligence in relationships

It is very important to understand that as a person, you do not know what things matter most to your loved one until they tell you. They may feel too stressed out or overwhelmed to talk about it, so try to recognize these signals and ask questions to learn more.

If you are ever made aware of something that makes your loved one uncomfortable, chances are there’s still something going on beneath the surface for them. This is an opportunity to show care and interest in their well-being, which will hopefully bring up more open conversations down the line.

By being conscious of your own emotions and how they affect others, you can also better regulate your emotional state and keep relationships strong

When you listen to your partner, you demonstrate empathy, which has been linked to higher relationship quality and happiness. Try asking questions about what matters to them, acknowledging their good points, and looking for ways to improve upon what doesn't.

Running through possible scenarios and reasons why certain actions might have hurt them can help you determine whether or not this happens again. When you're both on the same page with respect to what's important to them, communication should be easier and happier.

Be assertive

how to use emotional intelligence in relationships

A lot of people think that being more emotional is a bad thing, but it isn’t!

Emotion comes from feeling so you should be using your emotions to help you feel better. For example, if you are with someone who doesn’t make you happy, then why stay together?

If you realize something's wrong, get out before it gets worse! Don't wait for things to break down — do it quickly and decisively so there will be no lingering effects.

Communicate your feelings

how to use emotional intelligence in relationships

It’s easy to think that people know what you feel, but they don’t. If you keep all of your emotions hidden, they will eventually stop working — relationships are built on how well you communicate.

People won’t always agree with each other or like each other, which can make it hard to form strong bonds. But if you are able to identify and understand your partner’s emotions, then you’ll be much better at helping them cope and fix their problems.

You also need to acknowledge and accept that not everyone will like you – this is particularly important when you're in a relationship!

If you'd like to improve your emotional intelligence in relationships, start by acknowledging that you aren't as smart as you thought you were. Then work towards being more aware of, and understanding, the things that affect your loved ones.

This article will help you do just that.

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