How To Use Emotional Intelligence To Negotiate Influence And Challenge

Over the past few years, emotional intelligence (or EI) has become one of the most popular leadership theories in business. Companies are investing in training programs that teach employees how to recognize their own emotions and those of others, and how to manage them.

This theory was first proposed by Daniel Goleman back in 1989 when he published his book “Emotional Intelligence.” Since then, there have been many studies conducted about the effectiveness of this skill.

Many experts believe that having strong emotion regulation skills is an important part of being successful in life. For example, people who can control their emotions are less likely to get angry or frustrated, and thus avoid arguments and/or fist fights.

Furthermore, research indicates that people with higher levels of EQ are more productive at work, and they enjoy their job more than colleagues who do not. This may be because these individuals understand other people better, and so are able to collaborate more effectively. They also tend to comply with workplace rules and regulations more willingly, since they perceive such things as fair.

There are several different types of emotional quotient (EQ). Some examples are self-awareness, using humor to reduce stress, understanding feelings of others, recognizing and labeling your own emotions, and taking time to acknowledge and express gratitude.

Given all this, it makes sense to consider whether emotional literacy could help you in your career.

Have patience

how to use emotional intelligence to negotiate influence and challenge

When you are trying to influence or negotiate with someone, there is no easy way to do it. You will not get your desired result if you are not willing to put in the effort needed to achieve it. This could be due to lack of motivation, time, or energy.

When people perceive that you don’t care about what they have to say, they stop listening. So, being able to maintain a level head and show interest in what others have to say is an important quality when negotiating.

People will feel respected and valued when they see that you have made an effort to connect with them. At the same time, they may learn something new from you.

Having patience with individuals can also help you reach your goals. Even if things go poorly, you still got some information that you can use later. Sometimes, people need more time to make a decision before moving on.

At the end of the day, we all want the same thing – for everyone to live their lives happily. Using emotional intelligence, or EI, can help you find a way to enjoy this sometimes difficult process.

Take care of yourself first by investing in good health and work/life balance. Then, focus on developing your empathy, self-awareness, and leadership skills. Once you have mastered these, you will know how to use them when seeking change, understanding others, and achieving success.

Make eye contact

how to use emotional intelligence to negotiate influence and challenge

Making direct, personal connections with others is one of the most powerful nonverbal behaviors you can use in your life. When someone looks you in the eyes, they are letting you know that they want to connect with you.

When we look away from other people, it can make them feel uncomfortable or even fearful. They may sense that something bad will happen if they try talking to us, or that they won’t get our attention unless they do things that we don’t like.

This way of interacting creates a feeling of intimidation for both parties, which can prevent productive conversations from happening.

By establishing eye contact when speaking to another person, you show respect for their presence and self-confidence. It also helps create trust, as the recipient can see that you care about what they have to say.

Making eye contact doesn’t mean staring endlessly, but rather a brief glance every few seconds. Try holding each other's gaze for a couple of minutes to really strengthen the connection.

Be realistic

how to use emotional intelligence to negotiate influence and challenge

When you’re trying to negotiate influence or challenge, you have to be real about your goals. You can’t expect to ask someone to do something that they don’t want to do in order to gain an advantage over them!

If you want someone to agree to give up their job so that you can take control of the company, then you will need to make it clear that they will not get another chance to find employment if they refuse to cooperate with you.

On the other hand, if your goal is to persuade someone to help you achieve a personal objective, like buying a new car, you won’t succeed unless you are willing to go along with theirs.

You must understand where their selfish interest lies before attempting to exploit it.

Share your experiences

how to use emotional intelligence to negotiate influence and challenge

In this era of technology where we have access to information at lightning speed, it is easy to get distracted by what has become known as the ‘digital epidemic’ — that constant barrage of notifications, alerts, and distractions.

This overstimulation can easily shut down other modes of thinking, which are essential for effective problem solving.

When you lack motivation to do something, there is no incentive to put in the effort necessary to achieve your goal.

So how can you motivate yourself to push through and accomplish your goals?

By adding some challenge into the equation, but first you must identify your obstacles.

Be honest

how to use emotional intelligence to negotiate influence and challenge

It’s easy to be dishonest in business, but using emotional intelligence can help you keep your word even when you want to break it.

Many professionals develop pretenses to cover up how they really feel so that they don’t hurt someone else's feelings or look bad. This sometimes is for personal reasons — maybe because they don't want to show weakness by saying what she or he wants to do away from work — or professional ones – like when their boss makes an impossible demand and then blames them when the project fails.

But being able to recognize and manage your own emotions takes practice, and there are ways to improve your ability to do this. One of these strategies is to simply acknowledge how you're feeling right now and make an effort to put yourself in the other person's shoes before you talk about next steps.

If you've got a lot on your plate and another person is making demands, chances are you'll get annoyed. But if you try to think about why they might be upset, you could find out something important you didn't know before.

And while some people have a knack for putting others ahead of themselves, most of us don't! So learning how to control your reactions and challenge assumptions can only benefit your career and life, which is always worth investing in.

Connect with your audience

When you are trying to influence someone, one of the first things that will be called into question is whether you really care about them. If you don’t, then why should they believe you when you tell them something?

If you truly cared about people, then you would try to understand their position before coming up with your own. You would ask questions and listen to answers without giving in to initial impressions or preconceptions.

You would also try to put yourself in their shoes and think like they do – what would motivate them to agree with you? And what wouldn’t motivate them to disagree?

By doing these things, you show that you have thought about their situation, which is an important part of influencing others.

Be optimistic

how to use emotional intelligence to negotiate influence and challenge

We are all influenced by people, but only some use that influence for good. Some get motivated when you tell them they are doing a great job, while others do not because you have to ask them twice before they believe it.

People with high emotional intelligence can separate their emotions from what other people say or do. They may even disagree with someone else’s opinion, but they still like them so they don’t feel too much negative energy towards them.

Optimism is another quality of emotional intelligence. Even if something seems hopeless at this moment, you could be able to look forward to things eventually working out.

By looking ahead instead of behind, you reduce your stress level and help motivate yourself to keep moving forward.

This article will talk more about how to use emotional intelligence in your daily life, but first let us discuss why optimism is important.

Be calm

how to use emotional intelligence to negotiate influence and challenge

Sometimes, before you even begin negotiating, you need to be in a good state of mind. If you are angry or stressed out, this will not help your negotiations.

Negotiation is an uncomfortable process that can stir up emotions for both parties involved. Even if there was no chance of success, going into the meeting with a clear head and without emotional distractions can still benefit you.

This takes practice, but learning how to manage your mental and emotional state helps you perform better during difficult conversations. You will also want to work on keeping your voice level, consistency, and being aware of nonverbal signals.

When possible, try to use time to relax and unwind before a big negotiation. This can be done by listening to music, doing yoga, taking a bath, or any other activity that makes you feel relaxed.

If none of these exist, then at least be conscious of your breathing and muscles. Learning about self-care will help you.

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