How To Work On Emotional Intelligence

Working on your emotional intelligence (EI) is one of the most important things you can do as a person. It’s always been considered a skill, but now there are studies that prove it is a talent.

Many experts agree that we all have some degree of EI, though people differ in what factors contribute to this. Some feel it’s more prevalent in certain cultures or religions, while others believe it has no correlation at all.

Regardless, researchers agree that improving yours is an achievable goal and something you can work on consistently.

There are many different types of emotional skills, with different concepts like empathy being the biggest ones. Others focus only on managing your own emotions, whereas still other areas like understanding motivations come under that category.

This article will talk about how to improve your emotional control, which is one of the main pillars of good EI.

Have patience

how to work on emotional intelligence

A lot of people have emotional intelligence, but they’re not using it consistently. People with high emotional quotients (EQ) are normally just more natural around other people.

That's what makes them good employees — they bring out the best in others. But that doesn't necessarily carry over into their personal life, or at least it hasn't for most people.

If you're looking to improve your own EQ, then starting off by having more empathy is the first step. That means being able to understand and relate to how someone else feels.

Once you can do that, next up is self-awareness. This comes from understanding your strengths and weaknesses as well as knowing yourself.

Knowing who you are and why things matter to you make you think about your priorities and values more clearly. You also know where you need help and when to ask for it.

Having these skills will hopefully inspire you to be more aware of your emotions and why you feel the way you do. Then you'll be better equipped to address them and work through changes or new experiences.

Make eye contact

how to work on emotional intelligence

A large part of emotional intelligence is making eye contact. When you make direct, meaningful eye contact with someone, it can boost their mood and help them feel more connected to you.

When your partner looks into his or her mirror every morning before going to work, he or she is telling themselves “I am enough” and “My life means something.”

For men, this can be particularly powerful because they may struggle with feeling like they are not good enough — which often leads to feelings of depression or anxiety.

Making an effort to look in the eyes of your colleagues or superiors can go a long way towards boosting your own self-confidence.

It also helps people perceive you as being more trustworthy and puts others at ease.

Be realistic

how to work on emotional intelligence

A lot of theories about emotional intelligence focus too much on having strong emotions or being able to recognize them in others. Both of these things are important, but they’re not the only ones that matter.

The other part of the equation is using those emotions for something productive. For example, if you feel angry with someone, you can try to think of ways to be more forgiving of them or ways to move past this argument.

If you see someone crying, it may mean they just lost a loved one or received bad news, so offering your help is a good idea.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, if people seem to be ignoring most everyone except for their friends, then chances are they’re insecure about something or feel like no one likes them. It’s best to give yourself some time to work through these issues before investing energy in them.

Share your experiences

how to work on emotional intelligence

Working on emotional intelligence (EI) means learning how to identify, understand, and manage your emotions. It is also known as emotion regulation or self-control of emotions. This is different from having feelings, which everyone does at some time, but not all have control over what they feel.

Many people struggle with controlling their emotions because they make assumptions about things before thinking about them. For example, when you assume something will happen, you are more likely to get excited about it, and therefore be more emotionally invested in the event.

When you think someone loves you, you can become attached to them and rely on them. When they show less love, this can hurt you and reduce your happiness.

There are several strategies that can help you work on your emotional intelligence. These include practicing acceptance and letting go, identifying and changing beliefs, developing relationships, and using skills such as mindfulness and relaxation.

Be honest with your peers

As mentioned before, emotional intelligence (EI) is like having control of your emotions. If you can manage your emotions well, it helps you in many areas of your life.

One area in which EI comes in handy is work. Since we are spending time together every day, working relationships are an excellent place to look for ways to develop your EQ.

If you’re ever feeling overwhelmed or irritated by something someone said, take some time to breathe and recognize that what they said wasn’t totally helpful. Take a few minutes to think about how their comment made you feel, and whether it was worth the hurt.

On the other hand, if you found their comments encouraging or inspiring, give them some credit for that! A lot of people don’t have much self-confidence, so when they see someone who does, they might copy that behavior.

By being aware of this, you will probably stop people from developing bad habits. You’ll also be able to tell when a person has poor leadership skills and avoid getting involved with them.

Listen to others closely

how to work on emotional intelligence

A lot of people have a hard time listening to other people because they are more focused on their own thoughts and feelings.

When you’re trying to understand what someone is saying, put some effort into paying close attention to what they are telling you. Ask questions and try to get direct answers to those questions.

It can be difficult at times when there are disagreements or if someone has made you feel bad.

But staying focus on what matters – solving problems and talking about things that make sense to you – will help you in the long run.

You’ll learn how to prioritize better by putting your energy into activities that leave you feeling happy and successful.

Working on emotional intelligence takes practice but it is something you can achieve.

Don’t be egotistical

how to work on emotional intelligence

Sometimes we get so focused on improving our own emotional intelligence that we forget about the people in our lives who are not as self-aware. This can make them feel very insecure or even hurt by your behavior, which is never okay.

It's important to remember that just because you don't understand what makes someone else happy doesn't mean they're not happier than you think they are.

And it definitely doesn't give you the right to assume things about them or treat them with less respect than they deserve just because they may look different from you.

On the contrary, when you learn how to recognize other people's emotions, you will probably find out that some of their behaviors made them seem more unhappy than they actually were.

You'll also see that they didn't know why they were feeling certain ways, making it easier for you to help them figure out what was going on inside of them.

Be humble

how to work on emotional intelligence

It’s impossible to truly improve your emotional intelligence unless you are willing to acknowledge where you have failed and put in effort into changing that failure.

Becoming more aware of how you affect others is a good start, but it's only half of the equation. Being able to recognize and understand what makes other people feel good or bad is also important.

This is called understanding social psychology.

By knowing why something made someone else happy or unhappy, you can effectively do things like avoid those behaviors, or use them to your advantage.

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